Should I give a reference to a former colleague

[Deleted User]

Person_one wrote: »

Don't do it!

Clearly she is absolutely desperate to get a reference that looks as though it is officially from your employer, but she knows she won't get that legitimately (or won't get one that will impress!) so she's trying to use you to get around the proper channels and, basically, cheat.

Don't let her use you like this, don't be railroaded into doing something you are uncomfortable with because it sounds like there's a very good reason why you're uncomfortable!

It must be bad if she doesn't even want a basic HR type reference.

Hi,

I think it is exactly what happened right now. She is desperately trying to obtain some "legitimate" references.

I replied to the recruiter using my company email yesterday saying that I can provide them a personal reference for the Jobseeker and I also gave them my mobile number in case that they want to verify my identity. I phoned my formal supervisor up the very same day and informing her all of these. She said she was okey with it. Tonight just about I was ready to go to bed I received a phone call from her asking whether I can forward the form she filled out to the recruiter, without using the headed letter. Of course I cannot do it, and I believe you all should be able to image how the conversation was ended.

I think many of you must be wondering of why exactly I have to be like this, as I could simply block her number and stay away from her.

Although I had only worked with her for 2 months, but she indeed helped me a lot at work. She was one of the job interviewers. There used to be just the two of us in our department, so I was very closed to her, both personally & at work. I still have very regular contacts with her even though she already left the company for almost of 5 months, and talk to her/email her if I have encountered any problems/feeling frustrations at work; sharing secrets etc. She was like a very good friend/family member to me. I honestly do not mind helping and I am definitely willing to provide the recruiter a good personal reference for her. However I now just feel that she probably is not the one I thought she was. In the last few hours I kept thinking, and somehow that I feel I am being used, in terms of helping her to know what happened in the company, as I believe that she still very much wants to come back to the company. Of course I did not tell her any things that which I should not/cannot tell. But think back on it, I kinda feel that she was probably just using me to obtain information..

Sorry for this long post, Thank you for all of your inputs on this and hope you all have a great night. I believe this should be ended now. Really thank you for all your help!

[Deleted User]

Snakey wrote: »

Leaving aside your personal integrity, this would be fraud and you would get sacked or worse if anybody were to find out. She wants you to impersonate your employer, sending a reference on headed paper, presumably also running it through their franking machine, in which you answer questions that imply you are the employer (such as whether you'd employ her again).

It's a good point that she might just forge your signature if you don't play ball - sure she'd rather have the headed paper etc but from her perspective this is going to make the difference to whether she gets a job or stays on the dole and she's likely to do whatever she needs to do to make this work.

Because of that, you should definitely reply to the prospective employer - by e-mail, not by phone, you want a record of this - saying that you were a colleague and could only give a personal reference, so that if anything arrives from a different source they will not just blindly accept it (or if they do, it's not your fault).

Since this probably isn't what they want, they may well not ask you to give one and so you'd be off the hook. You could increase your chances of not hearing back, if you were feeling like you didn't particularly owe this person any favours after the way she's behaved, by including the contact details for the HR department on the e-mail too so that they can apply there if that's what they want.

As for her, say you've checked your contract and you are not permitted to give any reference other than a personal reference which must be clearly marked as such, and that you know she'll understand that you can't afford to lose your job over this.

Hi Snakey,

Thank you for your detailed reply!

This is my very first proper job. And frankly everything is very much different from what I expected. I am not a good person, and I never want to be a "good" person. I really cherish this job, and all the people I've met. I am perfectly alright to work overtime without paid, and I do not mind spent time helping if there is anything I can help with. I do not mind to be seen as being foolish as I know clearly what I needed to do/should do/willing to do. Just like many of you here have said, I am too naive. However I know I did the right thing this time, and this is really what I care now.

To be honest I never expect I will receive so many replies when I starting the thread. But I honestly, really very appreciate all of your helps/advice.:p:p:p:p:p

P.s: I will definitely take legal actions if she really forges my signature. Thanks!

TBagpuss

Well done for standing up to her.

She may have helped you in the past but I think you are right that she is using you. I would immediately stop telling her anything at all about what is going on at work (would you give the same information to someone who had never worked there?) just because she is a former employee does not mean that she should have any access to information about the business now she is no longer there, and you could potentially get into trouble if your employer thinks you have breached confidentiality or been indiscreet.

She was way out of line to give your name without asking you first, and to then put pressure on you.

I personally, given those factors, would not even offer a personal reference ( do be aware that if you give any kind of reference at all it must be truthful - so while you don't have to say she had an attitude problem, you cannot say she worked well with others as that would be untrue)

I would very strongly recommend that you do not give any kind of reference. This is not your problem, or your responsibility.

I personally would suggest that you speak to your current supervisor/HR dept. and tell them that she approached you and that you have made clear that you cannot assist except to provide a personal reference in your private capacity.

In our firm, giving an unauthorised reference is specifically forbidden, our handbook makes it very clear that the only reference which can be provided by a member of staff is a personal one and that it must explicitly state that it is personal and that they do not represent the firm - it would be a disciplinary offence for someone to give a reference using headed paper or otherwise giving the appearance of being official. Although your employer may not have this as part of their formal terms (have you checked?) they are likely to take a very dim view of it and it may be sensible to let them know she has asked, so in a a worst case scenario if she was to forge your name, or to give you name out again, they know you are not doing what she demands.