Should I give a reference to a former colleague

[Deleted User]

Person_one wrote: »

Don't do it!

Clearly she is absolutely desperate to get a reference that looks as though it is officially from your employer, but she knows she won't get that legitimately (or won't get one that will impress!) so she's trying to use you to get around the proper channels and, basically, cheat.

Don't let her use you like this, don't be railroaded into doing something you are uncomfortable with because it sounds like there's a very good reason why you're uncomfortable!

It must be bad if she doesn't even want a basic HR type reference.

thanks!! :beer: :beer: :beer:

shopbot

Person_one wrote: »

Don't do it!

It must be bad if she doesn't even want a basic HR type reference.

This puts it perfectly. Don't touch the reference with a barge pole.

SB

Bella73

Personally I would just send an email stating that I was sorry but they had obviously been given my name by mistake and they need to go back to their candidate. Just be honest and say sorry I don't know them well so cannot give a reference. Nobody can force you to give a reference.

I definitely wouldn't for someone trying to bully me!

Snakey

Leaving aside your personal integrity, this would be fraud and you would get sacked or worse if anybody were to find out. She wants you to impersonate your employer, sending a reference on headed paper, presumably also running it through their franking machine, in which you answer questions that imply you are the employer (such as whether you'd employ her again).

It's a good point that she might just forge your signature if you don't play ball - sure she'd rather have the headed paper etc but from her perspective this is going to make the difference to whether she gets a job or stays on the dole and she's likely to do whatever she needs to do to make this work.

Because of that, you should definitely reply to the prospective employer - by e-mail, not by phone, you want a record of this - saying that you were a colleague and could only give a personal reference, so that if anything arrives from a different source they will not just blindly accept it (or if they do, it's not your fault).

Since this probably isn't what they want, they may well not ask you to give one and so you'd be off the hook. You could increase your chances of not hearing back, if you were feeling like you didn't particularly owe this person any favours after the way she's behaved, by including the contact details for the HR department on the e-mail too so that they can apply there if that's what they want.

As for her, say you've checked your contract and you are not permitted to give any reference other than a personal reference which must be clearly marked as such, and that you know she'll understand that you can't afford to lose your job over this.

cashbag

I would definitely reply to the email with the stance that it must have been sent to you in error. This then covers you if she does forge a reference purporting to be from you.

After that don't touch this with a barge pole. She is a bully & is not worth you risking your own job! If she persists just say you cannot help as you do not have the right relationship. And on no account do anything on company paper! She sounds totally conniving & lacking morals. You are better than her.

anamenottaken

[quote=[Deleted User];67212031]She helped me before at work. I think I am the only one in our company who still having regular contacts with her after she left. I do not mind helping if there is anything I can do. But she should ask for my permission first before putting me down as a reference and she should understand the seriousness of using company headletter in terms of how it could affect me personally, not just telling me that it is not a big deal.

I cannot remember the regulations she mentioned, sorry. She just gave out a list of names then saying that it is not against the law blahblah and it is completely alright for me to do it.[/QUOTE]

She is telling you lies.
Drop her.
However she may have helped you (in the two months you worked together), she is not worth any more of your time.

General_Grant

[quote=[Deleted User];67212031]She helped me before at work. I think I am the only one in our company who still having regular contacts with her after she left. [I would suggest you join the rest - it will be better for you.] I do not mind helping if there is anything I can do. But she should ask for my permission first before putting me down as a reference [exactly] and she should understand the seriousness of using company headletter in terms of how it could affect me personally [of course she knows this: she is just trying to take advantage of you], not just telling me that it is not a big deal. [but it is]

I cannot remember the regulations she mentioned, sorry. [She probably made it up.] She just gave out a list of names then saying that it is not against the law blahblah and it is completely alright for me to do it. [Do not believe her. This is a case where you can more certainly believe anonymous posters on an internet forum.][/QUOTE]

She says it is "not a big deal". It is a very big deal to her and that is why she is trying to bully you into doing something which is not right.

She wants you to pass yourself off as someone who is able to give a reference on the basis of being someone in a company who has authority to do so. She wants to gain financial advantage from what would be your deception and in which she is complicit (by providing your details). That is certainly not lawful.

ohreally

Abbtt, you sound both a little naive and in need of assertiveness training.

You would be well advised to have nothing to do with this manipulative individual and be on your guard for her attempting to implicate you in her scheming.

TELLIT01

I would either e-mail back to the company and say you are only able to provide a limited, personal reference as you only worked with her for a short time, or say that all reference requests must be to her former manager or HR whichever is applicable.
You certainly shouldn't do anything which might come back and bite you - or cost you your job.

andygb

Bella73 wrote: »

Personally I would just send an email stating that I was sorry but they had obviously been given my name by mistake and they need to go back to their candidate. Just be honest and say sorry I don't know them well so cannot give a reference. Nobody can force you to give a reference.

I definitely wouldn't for someone trying to bully me!

Excellent advice:beer:

If people need something from you, and then try to bully you, then drop them right in it!:D