Should I give a reference to a former colleague

[Deleted User]

Hi RuthnJasper,

I think she knows that I am not good at saying no to others when they need help and she helped me before, which makes it harder for me to turn her request down, as I know how important it is in terms of job hunting. Which it is also one of the main reasons of why I agreed to give verbal reference for her in the very first place.

I do feel a bit unease though because I feel that she did not really care what my current situation is and how important the job is meant to me. The relationship between my current line manager and me are not really good as the manager thinks that I am her people. The manager also noticed her text on my phone today but asked nothing. I know she is definitely very unwilling to disclosure the fact she is currently looking for a job and thus I do not think I will ever tell my manager about this. I will just either call or email the recruiter to give a personal reference, and I think this is really all what I can do for her.

Mojisola

[quote=[Deleted User];67211934] I will just either call or email the recruiter to give a personal reference, and I think this is really all what I can do for her.[/QUOTE]

Can you truthfully give her a good reference?

[Deleted User]

tripled wrote: »

I recently had a reference request with a form like the one you described drop into my company email account. I responded from my personal email account and noted on both the email response and reference that it was a personal reference.

I would agree with the advice above not to use headed paper or associate it to the company. If you want to provide a personal reference, including in writing, I would have thought that would be fine as long as it's clear that's what it is.

Dear Tripled, thank you for the tips!!! Completely shocked when I saw an email in my company mailbox asking for a reference. I thought she just gave out my mobile number.

andygb

[quote=[Deleted User];discussion/5134093] She just told me it is not a big deal, and just do it.
[/QUOTE]

No way would I even consider giving a reference for someone who said this!
Tell her to go through the appropriate channels.

[Deleted User]

tomtontom wrote: »

Out of interest, what regulations did she quote to you?

I'd be refusing her request and telling her not to contact me again!

She helped me before at work. I think I am the only one in our company who still having regular contacts with her after she left. I do not mind helping if there is anything I can do. But she should ask for my permission first before putting me down as a reference and she should understand the seriousness of using company headletter in terms of how it could affect me personally, not just telling me that it is not a big deal.

I cannot remember the regulations she mentioned, sorry. She just gave out a list of names then saying that it is not against the law blahblah and it is completely alright for me to do it.

[Deleted User]

InsideInsurance wrote: »

You can offer to do a personal reference for her rather than a company one as you arent authorised to do a company reference. Certainly dont put it on headed paper etc.

As a contractor/ consultant I have given reference for a number of people, normally it is filling in a questionnaire and so there is no question of headed paper or not, but I am very clear that whilst I worked with them at X I am giving the reference as a director of Y but that I came to know them whilst providing services to X

Thank you!

[Deleted User]

Acc72 wrote: »

As others have said, you can give a personal character reference to anybody however it sounds as though you do not have the authority to give a company reference even if you wanted to (and if you did, could easily lead to a problem situation - especially given the length of time you have been with the company).


It sounds as though this person is not your friend so simply block their number and ignore them.

Thank you!:beer:

Mojisola

[quote=[Deleted User];67211555] [just a p.s: she actually filled out the form herself and saying that I just needed to forward it to the recruiter....]:(:(:(:(:([/QUOTE]

Any possibility that she will sign the form with your name and send it in herself?

[Deleted User]

Mojisola wrote: »

Can you truthfully give her a good reference?

I will just talk about what I think she is good at personally.

RuthnJasper

[quote=[Deleted User];67211934]Hi RuthnJasper,

I think she knows that I am not good at saying no to others when they need help and she helped me before, which makes it harder for me to turn her request down, as I know how important it is in terms of job hunting. Which it is also one of the main reasons of why I agreed to give verbal reference for her in the very first place.

I do feel a bit unease though because I feel that she did not really care what my current situation is and how important the job is meant to me. The relationship between my current line manager and me are not really good as the manager thinks that I am her people. The manager also noticed her text on my phone today but asked nothing. I know she is definitely very unwilling to disclosure the fact she is currently looking for a job and thus I do not think I will ever tell my manager about this. I will just either call or email the recruiter to give a personal reference, and I think this is really all what I can do for her.[/QUOTE]

You're right Abbtt. That's a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

I think the issue that's making you feel bad is that you are imagining how YOU would feel if you were the one asking for a reference. Obviously she's done something wrong and is dealing with the fall-out by being sneaky, and I wonder if you are feeling bad because that is how you WOULD feel if you were her.

But you aren't her. You are much more honest for a start, and are very opposed to being sneaky. Once you have done whatever your conscience feels to be the right thing in this situation I, personally, would not be wanting any further contact from her. She doesn't sound very nice.

Good luck. x