Friend borrowed shoes and ruined them

purpleshoes_2

Also, re the friend not having money to buy anything for herself, there's charity shops, I know some are more expensive than others, ebay where you can often get bargains and what a lot of people do, just wear something you already have around the house.

Nice as it is to offer, if you hadn't lent this girl these shoes I bet someone else would have if you hadn't done so.

nickyhutch

callum9999 wrote: »

Then you have pretty low standards! If I borrow anything from anyone I always ensure they're returned as they were given to me (or better). They're doing me a favour by lending it to me, the least I can do is look after it...

No, I don't (that's quite offensive, you know!).

I just know that shoes are very easily ruined on a night out, having done it myself several times, so I wouldn't lend a pair of mine out if I wanted them back in the same state.

lostinrates

purpleshoes wrote: »

I suppose that also depends on how often the OP goes out if these are her party shoes so to speak. Ive got shoes older than that that Ive hardly worn (Im not good with heels as I broke an arm when I had a pair on, wasnt the fault of the shoes but I prefer flats these days)

If she hadn't lent them out she might have got another couple of years wear, now they are unwearable.

.

I have shoes much older that I paid less for ( and a regrettable amount more for) .....but they aren't 'my [sole;) ]party shoes' and I have plenty of others to choose from. So the wear is less IYSWIM.



Fwiw wear in shoes even changes as weight and level of fitness changes I regret to say. . I have had very close girlfriends with whom I've shared shoes but for short periods only and close enough friends to say....'not those ...your bunion:D will ruin them,..take those strappy ones! ' or... ' no, those are tight on me, your feet will stretch them too much, but hey, wear them while we're choosing will you:rotfl: ' i've also bought second hand shoes, knowing that my feet will alter the shape of them, they are fine, as I'm never returning them to any one!

Belenus

BunnieJ wrote: »

I was thinking I'd just leave it and not lend her an thing again, but I'm really annoyed about the shoes I will check the Old Style board for some tips now. It's not like she just takes all the time, I've borrowed her shoes, she's given me lifts to the supermarket etc. She's really nice, so perhaps that's why I didn't expect her to ruin my shoes.

Just forget about the shoes but be more cautious about lending stuff in future. Good friendships are far more valuable than a pair of shoes.

callum9999

nickyhutch wrote: »

No, I don't (that's quite offensive, you know!).

I just know that shoes are very easily ruined on a night out, having done it myself several times, so I wouldn't lend a pair of mine out if I wanted them back in the same state.

No it's not...

And yes you do. If you feel that friends have no obligation to look after stuff you lend them, then you have low standards. The ease with which they can accidently be damaged is irrelevant, if I damage someone else's property then I repair or replace it. Common courtesy.

Jagraf

If I were lending a friend shoes, I would be giving them to her, as they are likely to change shape and become scuffed.

If I borrowed shoes, which I wouldn't as I know I couldn't return them in the same condition, I would offer to pay for them.

It's a bit like lending someone a bar of chocolate to eat. Both parties know it won't be in the same condition afterwards!

nickyhutch

callum9999 wrote: »

No it's not...

And yes you do. If you feel that friends have no obligation to look after stuff you lend them, then you have low standards. The ease with which they can accidently be damaged is irrelevant, if I damage someone else's property then I repair or replace it. Common courtesy.

Goodness me.

Jagraf

callum9999 wrote: »

Then you have pretty low standards! If I borrow anything from anyone I always ensure they're returned as they were given to me (or better). They're doing me a favour by lending it to me, the least I can do is look after it...

Actually I think what Nicky said was a high standards approach. She knows the shoes won't be returned in the same condition for practical realistic reasons, so her choice is based on whether she wants them back or not, and is willing to part with the shoes if she no longer wants them, to help out a friend.

purpleshoes_2

Jagraf wrote: »

If I were lending a friend shoes, I would be giving them to her, as they are likely to change shape and become scuffed.

If I borrowed shoes, which I wouldn't as I know I couldn't return them in the same condition, I would offer to pay for them.

It's a bit like lending someone a bar of chocolate to eat. Both parties know it won't be in the same condition afterwards!

Ive never thought that its automatic that giving someone a pair of shoes to wear for one night would mean them ending up being scuffed.

I dont scuff my own shoes on a night out. Of course shoes will change shape and wear over time, but one wear?

nickyhutch

Jagraf wrote: »

If I were lending a friend shoes, I would be giving them to her, as they are likely to change shape and become scuffed.

If I borrowed shoes, which I wouldn't as I know I couldn't return them in the same condition, I would offer to pay for them.

It's a bit like lending someone a bar of chocolate to eat. Both parties know it won't be in the same condition afterwards!

That's what I meant. You have low standards, like me