Friend borrowed shoes and ruined them

LandyAndy

You should have said 'you might as well keep them now you've ruined them'

mgdavid

As long as you can afford them, treat yourself to a new pair

and don't lend anything to 'friends' again.

callum9999

nickyhutch wrote: »

Seriously? I wouldn't lend a pair of shoes out and expect them to come back in the same condition, so there's no way I'd lend my favourite, or some that are to match something in particular, or aren't easily replaced.


If I'd been your friend, I'd have insisted that I pay for replacements, but unless you're wiling to go back and mention it to her now, I'd say it's too late to lose a friendship over.


They're shoes. They don't last forever. Suck it up and don't lend shoes out again.

Then you have pretty low standards! If I borrow anything from anyone I always ensure they're returned as they were given to me (or better). They're doing me a favour by lending it to me, the least I can do is look after it...

VfM4meplse

BunnieJ wrote: »

For various reasons I could only collect the shoes today and she told me she had worn them twice. I'm one of the worst at ruining shoes, but I was shocked at the state of them. I was a bit taken aback so I just collected the shoes and went home. I'm not sure if I should say something to her as I don't want to make it into a big deal

Why haven't you said anything to her? A nice person would have at least been embarrassed and offered an apology.

All you have to say is that you look after your things, expect the same care to be taken of them and on that basis wouldn't want to lend her anythng again. That way she'll know the offence her carelessness has caused and won't ask again.

lostinrates

callum9999 wrote: »

Then you have pretty low standards! If I borrow anything from anyone I always ensure they're returned as they were given to me (or better). They're doing me a favour by lending it to me, the least I can do is look after it...

I think a particular point, as has already been raised, is that even had the friend taken excellent care of the shoes and has the same size feet her feet are unlikely to be the same exact shape and bear weight and stretch on the shoe in the same way......it possibly that for example which has caused wrinkling.


Similarly some items of clothes can be a poor idea to lend for similar reasons.

peachyprice

callum9999 wrote: »

Then you have pretty low standards! If I borrow anything from anyone I always ensure they're returned as they were given to me (or better). They're doing me a favour by lending it to me, the least I can do is look after it...

They're shoes, as soon as you put someone else's feet in them they're never going to be the same again.

purpleshoes_2

peachyprice wrote: »

They're shoes, as soon as you put someone else's feet in them they're never going to be the same again.

That doesnt account for all the scuffs though. If I borrowed shoes even if I were the same size as someone then I might hand them back in a slightly different shape, but not scuffed and covered in dirt and if I did, Id be offering to buy a new pair.

j.e.j.

It's tricky with footwear. If someone lends out a dress or suit, you can just get it dry-cleaned before returning it. I don't think I would lend shoes to people (except maybe family) for hygiene reasons more than anything. How do you know your friend hasn't got a verruca/bunion/fungal infection :eek:

Anyways, I think I would have made a jokey remark at the time, asking her if she'd been walking through a puddle or something as the shoes are so dirty, but it might be a bit late now to say anything.

lostinrates

purpleshoes wrote: »

That doesnt account for all the scuffs though. If I borrowed shoes even if I were the same size as someone then I might hand them back in a slightly different shape, but not scuffed and covered in dirt and if I did, Id be offering to buy a new pair.

No it doesn't I agree. But dirt can be cleaned off, and some damage made better. Stretched in a different way shoes will never be the same again.


Also recently I put all my shoes in so e new storage. Shoes I think of as being on good order I noticed were actually a little worn and scuffed in places. Sometimes just not seeing things for a while can make the wear that has become familiar to you stand out. It could be highlighted by different wear, someone driving in them,( presuming they are heels, ). To return dirty shoes IS just inconsiderate or thoughtless. But I wouldn't lose a friendship over it the other factors considered. Two or three years as the staple going out shoe suggests a fair bit of wear to me for a young woman. That's pretty good going for a pair of shoes that cost £40.

purpleshoes_2

lostinrates wrote: »

No it doesn't I agree. But dirt can be cleaned off, and some damage made better. Stretched in a different way shoes will never be the same again.


Also recently I put all my shoes in so e new storage. Shoes I think of as being on good order I noticed were actually a little worn and scuffed in places. Sometimes just not seeing things for a while can make the wear that has become familiar to you stand out. It could be highlighted by different wear, someone driving in them,( presuming they are heels, ). To return dirty shoes IS just inconsiderate or thoughtless. But I wouldn't lose a friendship over it the other factors considered. Two or three years as the staple going out shoe suggests a fair bit of wear to me for a young woman. That's pretty good going for a pair of shoes that cost £40.

I suppose that also depends on how often the OP goes out if these are her party shoes so to speak. Ive got shoes older than that that Ive hardly worn (Im not good with heels as I broke an arm when I had a pair on, wasnt the fault of the shoes but I prefer flats these days)

If she hadn't lent them out she might have got another couple of years wear, now they are unwearable.

OP, maybe its time to re evaluate whether you keep lending things to people, particularly if you don't have lots of disposable income yourself. I remember lending out a couple of pairs of trousers to a friend, years ago, she ruined one pair, I never got the other back. I also gave friends small sums of money (but enough that I could have done with it back) when they were skint and never saw it again. I don't lend anything out these days to anyone apart from family.

I might also re evaluate the friendship as well. Id be mortified if I ruined a piece of clothing or a pair of shoes and even if I couldnt afford to pay for an item of clothing or shoes of the same value, Id offer something.