NOT BUYING IT! 2015 - A consumer holiday

mumto2monkeys_2

Slowdown wrote: »

Ahoy there!

I can't tell you how many times I have woken up with that 'stop the world, I want to get off' feeling. Not dissimilar to your DROP OUT feeling. It is overwhelming at times.

I don't want to have that feeling and I try my best to analyse exactly what it is in that tidal wave, threatening to engulf me,that is the problem. But sometimes there is too much to even think about.

Often I'm overwhelmed by work. I have just started a job as a special needs coordinator in a main stream school after teaching for the last 24 years, virtually non stop. I didn't take career breaks for children, just maternity leaves and almost 25 years later I'm really, really tired. I am very lucky that I have now got to the point where I can work 3 days a week. For the majority of these years I have felt swamped to the point of drowning, unappreciated by my employers( the gov) but I've stuck at it. I'm a good teacher and now the longest serving member of the staff but non the less overwhelmed. I love the children, I love touching someone's life and knowing that even if they don't remember it, I made a difference, no matter how small. But that feeling of being overwhelmed returns again and again.

And that spills into all other aspects of life. I have chased 'stuff' because I think I deserve it, I've chased 'stuff' because I think I need it, I've chased 'stuff' because the advertisers have told me I can't live without it, I've chased 'stuff' because the Joneses have it. And I have also chased 'stuff' to fill holes created by dissatisfaction with other aspects of my life.
That amounts to a lot of stuff!!

But now things are changing. The tidal wave is receding if you like, and I'm ready to sail my ship on the crest of it. Part time work has given me time, the most priceless commodity. I am sewing again, budgeting again and slowing down a little. I'm meeting with friends, keeping my house clean and even sitting still with a cup of tea sometimes. And I love it!

Which brings me back to the stuff. I have often thought about stuff and how it trickles into my life, fills up all available spaces both physically and mentally, and then sits staring at me with malevolent eyes making me feel uncomfortable.

And now I have the time to see things clearly it's time to tackle the stuff monster. I will put him on a de cluttering diet, I will starve him of his life force of new stuff and I will cover his eyes so he can't watch his favourite entertainment-the advert breaks. That should see him off.

Hopefully this will stabilise my environment and my mind. I know I will be shouting "man overboard" next year at times, it's bound to happen in choppy seas, but I'm hoping my shipmates will throw me a life jacket.

Shiver me timbers, it's 20 past 7 and I'm still in bed! That's part time work for you!

Kind regards
Slowdown

This is incredibly interesting to me. I've been teaching (and holding minor additional responsibility) for 12 years now, full time. I have been pursuing career development and before Christmas I was offered SLT training. I don't think I want it. As you've said, I am tired to my bones, I am sick of throwing money at quick fixes because I'm so drained I take no time to do things better and I am fed up of always putting myself last. It's a really difficult place to be because every single bit of me is conditioned to wanting more, to wanting better (consumption). I need to fight this in 2015 and start making choices that put my well-being first.

I'll admit I feel a bit scared about this. I'm scared if I don't seek promotion now, I might never get it in the future (even though I'm not sure that I want it). I don't know what I really want to do to fill the void that the hours I do currently fill. I don't feel like I know myself outside of my job. That's so sad.

But I'm also acutely aware that my DC are getting older and I feel like I'm missing out on so much. It came to a head on Christmas Eve when I told my father I plan to get out more, walking with the family, next year. He said I'd said the exact same thing last year!! He said, now is the time to start doing things for myself and my family, that time passes quickly. He is also angry that he is watching me run myself down working 60-80 hour weeks at the sacrifice of everything else.

Now change is needed. I can't not work FT, but I can think more carefully about what I say yes to. I'm also toying with handing back one of the two responsibility points I have.

I think my key focus will be my well-being. OS and less consumption is key. I'd already started reading minimalist blogs, such as 'Becoming Minimalist' and liking the idea about valuing experiences over possessions.

I need to get myself well and decide what I really enjoy doing. It will be so hard. I have 35 years of brainwashing to challenge. I was promised the perfect life if I worked hard (thanks media, advertising, magazines). I worked hard and all I have is a lot of debt, poor health, anti depressants and a feeling of being overwhelmed every single day.

bexster1975

Mum2twomonkeys I could have written parts of your post myself. I am also a teacher in middle management and have made myself ill with work. 2015 is going to be different. I am going to get well ( I am seeing a consultant in the new year) and I'm going to get myself out of my job. I don't have kids so have more flexibility but I think the key is cutting down on unnecessary stuff and living well on less. Wish you the best of luck in 2015. May all your walks be long ones!

Bexster

Newly_retired

Speaking of being brainwashed, I reckon the way I was brought up I was brain washed into frugality. My parents had lived through the war and post war rationing, then my dad was in a very low paid job all his life. Because of this I find it hard to spend money and actually hate shopping in town. I feel overwhelmed by shops so full of stuff nobody needs.
I did my Christmas shopping by going out to buy specific items and nothing else. Some of it I ordered online, though mostly used reserve and collect.
I expect my family think I am stingy as I did not spend a lot.

So all the best to those who want to succeed in buying less in 2015.

Effyb4

I gave up full time teaching 2 years ago. It just wasn't doing me any good. I simply couldn't cope with the stress and ended up off sick with depression. You could be describing exactly what I was feeling mum2twomonkeys. Please think carefully about your health and what is best for you and your family.

I now work part time, still with children. but not in a school and I am much happier and less stressed. We are finding the cut in income difficult, hence the need for watching what we spend.

Bexster1975 I wish you well in getting yourself well and getting off the treadmill in 2015.

Aril

Hello:D
Working today but have still had time to turf out several items of costume jewellery that I no longer wear. I shall offer them to my Mum first for her to raise funds for her choir and failing that they can go to a jumble sale I'm helping out at next month:j

Found a t shirt that I got bleach on when I was cleaning for someone [I don't wear my best bib and tucker when working]. Originally came from a CS but don't think I ever really loved the colour so never wore it a great deal. Initially I was going to put it in the cloth recycling but I've just realised that it is is one of the shades that I want for my new coloured tatters jacket for morris dancing that my friend is going to help me out with next year. I didn't really enjoy making the standard kit as it took forever and she loves doing it so I asked whether she'd be willing to sew for me if I do cleaning for her in exchange as she hates it. She agreed:T:j

Bottom of the fridge soup has done us for supper again today along with a reduced priced pizza. Went to the supermarket and bought several bits which were heavily reduced and could be frozen. Large piece of gammon and a chicken amongst them so more kept out of the waste stream.

I've joined this today mods http://www.streetbank.com/splash?locale=en-GB am not affiliated in any way but this seems to be in keeping with the ethos here.

Also found this- don't normally have fizzy drink bottles but because of treats we've actually got a couple at the mo' so am giving it a whirl
http://www.seattlesundries.com/blogs/news/11749733-how-to-self-watering-seed-starter-pots

Arilx

pm2326

Thanks to all your talk of decluttering, I've decided I need to get on top of the mess I call the spare room, it's the only room which hasn't been decorated in the last 2 years and it needs it! And I already have the paper left over from doing my bedroom earlier this year so no excuses really.

So I've chucked out 22 magazines that were piled in the corner and emptied 2 A4 binders of useless tat which I've not even looked at for at least 2 years...they're all in the recycling bin ready to be collected tomorrow

Have also chucked a couple of items that were broke beyond repair that I've hung onto for some reason!

mumto2monkeys_2

bexster1975 wrote: »

Mum2twomonkeys I could have written parts of your post myself. I am also a teacher in middle management and have made myself ill with work. 2015 is going to be different. I am going to get well ( I am seeing a consultant in the new year) and I'm going to get myself out of my job. I don't have kids so have more flexibility but I think the key is cutting down on unnecessary stuff and living well on less. Wish you the best of luck in 2015. May all your walks be long ones!

Bexster

I don't think I'll be able to leave completely (main earner, stuck in salary trap), but I think you are absolutely right that cutting down is the route to freedom. Wishing you luck too - hope you manage to get yourself better too :).

mumto2monkeys_2

Effyb4 wrote: »

I gave up full time teaching 2 years ago. It just wasn't doing me any good. I simply couldn't cope with the stress and ended up off sick with depression. You could be describing exactly what I was feeling mum2twomonkeys. Please think carefully about your health and what is best for you and your family.

I now work part time, still with children. but not in a school and I am much happier and less stressed. We are finding the cut in income difficult, hence the need for watching what we spend.

Bexster1975 I wish you well in getting yourself well and getting off the treadmill in 2015.

It never fails to amaze me how many people are forced out because the workload is unmanageable. Someone summed it up earlier in this thread when they said because of the fee-paying school system, the elite in this country have no reason to be concerned about education for everyone else. If all children had to go into the same system, I bet things would change rapidly.

I really feel like something has shifted in me over the holiday. Hoping to maintain this when I get back to work!

[Deleted User]

Newly Retired. I feel like you in the sense I've never had much money. I work have a mortgage and bought up two children and needed to be frugal. So I don't think your family will think your stingy. It is the thought that counts. I didn't spend a lot but everyone got something they liked.
Everyone's in the same boat - 'xcuse the pun'.
I don't like shopping anymore.
I was sitting here thinking of my BFs family. His family chose gifts with care and thought, not necesssarily expensive. Another one of my family members buys me the same thing year in year out and knows I don't like it but doesn't listen. Even though for 10 years... yes ten years or more I've said thank you but its not what I can eat/drink!!! Another £1.18 gift.
Next year I'm making homemade gifts for my family and saving the money to buy what my grown up children NEED rather than relatives as I had 17 to buy for.
Its hard for youngsters today and I have one whos struggling.

[Deleted User]

The teaching staff at fee paying schools work just as hard and under the same pressure as at any other school, the difference being that as parents are paying they think that means that the offspring will get the grade the parents want them to, regardless of the offsprings ability levels and they don't hesitate to hector the staff to try to get what they want. DD1 was even told by one irate parent that she'd paid the £200 for the Bronze D of E for her child and that assessors couldn't fail the child and the group as they'd paid for him to pass!!! Teaching is not at all a sinecure these days no matter what sector you are employed in is it?