Potentially homeless soon, advice needed.

theartfullodger

He has £28k of unsecured debt already, and in GA: More borrowing really a good idea?? He's mentioned bankruptcy earlier - that sadly may be the best option, all a bit brutal then start again.

Youngbuck - best of luck, hope things improve in future.

lisyloo

Totally for exploring leagal options.

She is not obliged to answer informal comms if she doesn't want to.
You can't deny he's done little to force the situation for 4 years and also walked away.
If you really want something done you Get legal advice not just keep pestering someone on FB.
Remember you're getting one side of the story. We don't know what was agreed.
I for one don't think it's reasonable for him to just turn up after 4 years now that it's her home.
We don't know the legals on it.

She does indeed not have to accept recorded delivery but he can PROVE he sent the letter, so if it came to court (civil or criminal) then he could prove he tried to notify her. If she doesn't read her post then she'd have to accept responsibility and possibly costs - for example him being forced to break in (that's an example as we don't yet know whether it's legal). Fb of text Is not a provable method of communication. Too easy for someone to say it wasn't received. Often recorded gives you a signature. It's not guaranteed but it's what I'd do to prove id communicated.

Does anyone really think it's reasonable to turn up after 4 years, break in and just expect to live together?

I don't think borrowing is a bad idea for basic roof and basic food (noodles, baked beans) - what do you expect? Park bench, starve?
but for real basics of survival only.

Sleeping on a park bench is not conducive to holding down a job.

I am slightly concerned that the op might find himself falling through the safety net here I.e. Not legally allowed to occupy having abandoned the place 4 years ago but also gets no help because "intentionally" homeless.

lynz68

I think your best option at the minute is to speak to your welfare dept at work but you need to tell them the whole story including the debt. Could they possibly provide an advance of your salary that could include bankruptcy fees? Just a thought if you have to start rebuilding your life you might as well do it with a clean slate.

But unless you deal with your gambling problem your just going to find yourself in the same situation again.

Your ex-partner could also have her new partner living with her and could even have a child do you really want to be bursting in on that.

bluedrop

Are you sorting out your gambling and debt issues?

Sorry, you are completely responsible for your situation. You have a job that pays over £2000 net a month. That's a LOT of money for one person. You gambled it away and you have £130 left!! Did you even mention applying for social housing? Why should tax payer bail you out? It's not an illness or disability - sheer irresponsible attitude.

Anyway, hope you learnt from this experience. If you don't want to be in this situation again, seek help to sort that gambling issue out. Family, friends, relatives etc will all hate to help a gambler. If you were in this situation for some other reason, someone would have definitely helped you.

mjoneseyjones

bluedrop wrote: »

Are you sorting out your gambling and debt issues?

Sorry, you are completely responsible for your situation. You have a job that pays over £2000 net a month. That's a LOT of money for one person. You gambled it away and you have £130 left!! Did you even mention applying for social housing? Why should tax payer bail you out? It's not an illness or disability - sheer irresponsible attitude.

Anyway, hope you learnt from this experience. If you don't want to be in this situation again, seek help to sort that gambling issue out. Family, friends, relatives etc will all hate to help a gambler. If you were in this situation for some other reason, someone would have definitely helped you.

What a woefully unhelpful and pointless post.


I'm fairly sure the OP will be fully aware they've gone down a bad road of their own making, but I would also like to think anyone with a brain and the vaguest knowledge of how addiction works would realise its not a series of conscious, coherent decisions that have led him here. He needs help, not derision from halfwits like you or he'll continue further and further downhill from his already crappy position.


OP - stop fannying around with daft notions of spending all your money breaking into a house hundreds of miles from work and get onto your work welfare dept.

youngbuck2

Thankyou all for your replies.

I think I may have got ahead of myself with the whole locksmith suggestion, it is just frustrating when your contact is ignored - I am clearly the only one interested in doing anything productive to escape this mortgage, otherwise she would be contacting me for signatures/permissions etc.

I will take the slower route with solicitors, once I have myself relatively sorted. I will speak to the welfare department at my work tommorow, they may be able to help with an interest free loan deducted from my monthly wage to help in the short term to get somewhere even for the short term.

I have a lot going on personally, and especially financially and I just need some stability to work through it all methodically. You probably wont believe it based on my previous post but I am usually a fairly rational person, just had a lot of issues with anxiety and stress but I will get through it even if I have a few tough months ahead.

youngbuck2

mjoneseyjones wrote: »

What a woefully unhelpful and pointless post.


I'm fairly sure the OP will be fully aware they've gone down a bad road of their own making, but I would also like to think anyone with a brain and the vaguest knowledge of how addiction works would realise its not a series of conscious, coherent decisions that have led him here. He needs help, not derision from halfwits like you or he'll continue further and further downhill from his already crappy position.


OP - stop fannying around with daft notions of spending all your money breaking into a house hundreds of miles from work and get onto your work welfare dept.

Yes that post wasn't very productive. I am going to take a more methodical approach instead of irrational ideas of using a locksmith now you lot have talked sense into me.

I have been an alcoholic previously (9 years ago, sober since) and had various medical problems out of that and can easily say, gambling has been far more addictive, far more destructive to my life and 100% not just a "sheer irresponsible attitude". From experience.

Thanks to everyone who posted, I will keep my chin up and think more rationally and call in every favour I can.

Also thanks to lisyloo, pixie and everyone else who provided numbers/links to help.

bluedrop

mjoneseyjones wrote: »

What a woefully unhelpful and pointless post.


I'm fairly sure the OP will be fully aware they've gone down a bad road of their own making, but I would also like to think anyone with a brain and the vaguest knowledge of how addiction works would realise its not a series of conscious, coherent decisions that have led him here. He needs help, not derision from halfwits like you or he'll continue further and further downhill from his already crappy position.


OP - stop fannying around with daft notions of spending all your money breaking into a house hundreds of miles from work and get onto your work welfare dept.

It doesn't matter how much you sugar coat your words or say nice things to OP, unless he gets proper help to sort out that gambling issue NOW, nothing will get him out of this mess. Gambling problem is the demon here.

It doesn't matter how addiction works. Gambling never did anyone a great deal of good. Someone earning £37k must be conscious enough to understand things are going out of hand and seek help to sort it out. He has a full time day job, he is not some alcoholic drifting in and out of consciousness all the time!

Sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear OP. The bottom line is, you need to sort out gambling thing ASAP.

jayII

Surely your current partner will let you sleep on the sofa until your next payday? Especially if you offer to stay out of her way as much as possible. It has to be better than being homeless.

mjoneseyjones

bluedrop wrote: »

It doesn't matter how much you sugar coat your words or say nice things to OP, unless he gets proper help to sort out that gambling issue NOW, nothing will get him out of this mess. Gambling problem is the demon here.

Given my choice of language and sentiments I don't know how you can accuse me of sugar coating anything or being particular nice to the op. I also don't think they've ever denied gambling is the issue - are you even reading these posts?

It doesn't matter how addiction works. Gambling never did anyone a great deal of good. Someone earning £37k must be conscious enough to understand things are going out of hand and seek help to sort it out. He has a full time day job, he is not some alcoholic drifting in and out of consciousness all the time!

Jesus christ, you seriously think that his wage (which is only slightly over the London average and not the bill Gates mega bucks you're making out) has any impact on his ability to fight an addiction?! I'm pretty sure addicts, be it gamblers, druggies, drinkers or whatever don't have the ability to say 'whoops, I just got addicted, better get help'! There'd be no such thing as addicts if this was the case.

I seriously can't believe you have to have this explained to you.

Sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear OP. The bottom line is, you need to sort out gambling thing ASAP.

Wow, insightful stuff, I don't think the op or anyone else had thought of that!