A new debt free journey

lcc86

Today I am feeling incredibly sorry for myself. I hurt my back horse riding on Saturday. I didn't notice initially, it really started to hurt in the evening and then yesterday I could barely move. I also woke up with OH's cold yesterday too. I tried to carry on as normal, so i went to the volunteering place I spoke about, but that just made it worse. By the time I got home I could barely stand! I'm dosed up on painkillers and have been using hot water bottles, but now the cold has really kicked in and I've been awake half the night with a fever but feeling cold at the same time. So all in all, I'm now walking around like the hunchback of Notre dame! I can barely walk and feel like sh*t if I'm honest so I'm not going to work today. I feel terrible about that because I'm only two months into my new job but the pain from my back is making me feel sick. I might even have to get myself to a walk-in centre if it doesn't improve

The only positive I can take from this is that I won't be spending any money on fuel, but even so, I'd rather be at work than stuck in bed all day! Perhaps I can find some surveys to do, I always get the emails about them when I'm at work and by the time I can log on to do them there are no spaces left!

lcc86

Just updated my signature to include the money I had to borrow for my service charge. I now owe £6,649, so have paid off 27% not 32%. I'll be able to clear this in 2 months but thought I'd better be honest and add it to my debt total. On the plus side, at least my total will go down quickly over the next two months so I can pretend I've made loads of progress hehe.

crazy_cat_lady

Ah no - I hope you're feeling better soon lcc.

lcc86

Feeling much better today, thanks CCL. I felt quite rough this morning but just got up and went to work as I couldn't face another day sitting in bed!

On the plus side, I managed to complete some surveys yesterday. Not much but it all counts. I also completed one today as well. Must get back on track with surveys to help generate some extra income.

My last spends were on Saturday so I've done well on the NSD front. I got a £12 off voucher for Tesco so have put that towards this months shopping. I should be able to view my payslip tomorrow, fingers crossed no more nasty surprises!

crazy_cat_lady

Make sure that you get plenty of rest as well. I know that it can get boring as anything being stuck in bed all day but don't wipe yourself out. I love that you find the positives in being ill - like not spending any money

lcc86

Spent most of last night awake and have been in bed today with a migraine/cold etc. On the plus side the back pain has really died down which is good. Because I've not been at work I haven't been able to see my payslip to check whether my P45 situation has been resolved.

Have had another costly trip to the vet this evening and now my vet fund is less than £100. I don't know if it's because I'm ill but I'm really starting to get 'fed up' of this whole debt busting thing. It seems like any time I put money aside for something, an unexpected expense crops up and takes that money. I'm all but resigned to the fact I'll probably need my credit card if these vet trips continue. One trip averages about £40, todays was more because I need to pay for some tests, but that £300 I put aside just last week will soon be gone. I have no buffer for anything now, no emergency fund, nothing.

I'm sure this happened at about this time last year, I had to cancel a holiday in the end because of vet bills. Again, I have two holidays booked this year, one fully saved for, one partially saved for. It's almost as though life doesn't want me to have a holiday.

I just don't get it at the moment. I've got a new job earning relatively good money, and I'm struggling just as much for money. I'm running out of cash before I'm two-thirds of the way through the month. I'm just fed up with it. I spend hours looking over my budget spreadsheet trying to work out where I'm going wrong. I check my bank accounts every single day. I have one hobby and that's it, I don't drink much, I don't smoke, I don't really go out, and still I can't make it through the month without panicking.

I'm actually starting to feel like being debt free asap doesn't even matter any more because it's not going to happen at this rate. I just feel consumed by money and debt and finances and constant worry. It feels like every time I do something to earn more money, I somehow have less. I thought I'd have £500 a month to pay towards my debts with my new job, but I'm going backwards with my repayments.

I know that my debt isn't alot compared to what other people are struggling with. But I've been trying to get debt free for five years now and I don't feel like I've made progress because in reality, I owe now what I did about five years ago. So all the stress of the last five years feels like it's been kinda pointless and it's getting me down really. Life shouldn't be all about scraping by till payday when you earn over 30k and have a small mortgage, so why is it still so hard? Am I really that bad at budgeting? I'm already dreading February because I'm going to be utterly skint, I already know it. Every month is a bit like groundhog month. It's just the same story over and over and over again and I'm bored of it. I'm bored of being obsessed with money and having nothing to show for my wages. I'm bored of lying to my family about my debt. I'm bored of realising that yet again I will be skint about a fortnight after payday because of X, Y, Z. And it will all start again the second I see my payslip because I'll start worrying about money all over again.

crazy_cat_lady

Awww lcc :grouphug:
Not trying to belittle you - but I find life in general much tougher when I'm not 100%. I think the bright side is that the situation hasn't gotten any worse. Life always throws these things at us... I just got debt free and my dh isn't working, and I'm still scrimping and saving the same way I didn't for almost 6 years.
Don't give up - be kind to yourself and get yourself better. x

lcc86

Thanks CCL

just to update, I will be having a break from here for a while. Debt busting is having to take a back seat. Essentially I've found out that my home may be subject to a compulsory purchase order as the council want to develop the surrounding land. So all my energies have to go into trying to make sense of that, researching and learning about any and all potential outcomes before they make their decision. Legal advice is essential so I have to concentrate my money where it's most needed right now. I will be back on here at some point and certainly won't be falling off the debt free wagon, but I just need to keep my focus on this. What will be will be but I need to be prepared for any eventuality.

crazy_cat_lady

Good luck with it lcc. This happened to us after we had our offer accepted on the house we live in now. The council didn't buy it in the end but developed the land around us...

Orange_Ena

Oh crikey lcc, hope it all works out ok for you. Take care.