Home Educating 16 Year Old Son

tyllwyd

Igcses can be done from home but it's not a cheap or easy option. My daughter studied French igcse, and started with a distance learning course from ICSLearn, which didn't really work for her because she needed more speaking practice. I found a home tutor who taught her the igcse and she sat the exams at an exam centre called 3A Tutors in Bristol (and passed!). Another of her friends was home educated, and I think they used 3A Tutors for the tutoring as well, and she passed several Igcses.

Skintmama

I Home Educated one of my children for several years due to similar issues. We then used Interhigh for a year (when they first started up) which seemed to increase confidence and the determination to return to the school environment. Full time work then followed Yr 11, before returning to education for an Access to Higher Education course and University.

Don't lose heart either of you, as anxiety issues can be resolved over time and even if things don't happen in the same order as everyone else is doing them, it can all work out just fine

Having said that, I remember this period very well for the extreme stress it resulted in! It is a very difficult situation for other people to comprehend too so empathy can be in short supply. The fact that your son is maintaining relationships with his peers is extremely positive. If he does try something like Interhigh, then there is plenty of opportunity for interacting and making friends there too.

I wish you all the best in moving through this phase of his life.

pipkin71

Essex-girl wrote: »

Good morning

To make a long story short my son has been having serious anxiety issues, it started mainly with not being able to go in a car as he was sure he would be sick then OCD. Basically he has not been to school since Dec 2013. I was in contact with the school and LEA immediately and managed to get him to the Doctors. The school referred him to CAHMS. Between Jan and July I managed to get him out of the house 4 times. Cahms refererral took ages and in the first couple of home visits he refused to leave his room. All the time the school refused to send work home saying they couldn't until Cahms confirmed in writing that he was unable to attend school.

I left my job in Sept so that I could concentrate on him, I got him out more and more in the car although he would only go with me never anyone else. After no contact from the school for nearly a year I was contacted by a pastural teacher and went for a meeting. The school staff there did apologise and said they had failed him.

He was offered a place at a special learning school which I loved, he had a home visit but refused to go to the school. He has now been offered 2 x 1 hour lessons in a local library but at the last min has locked himself in his bedroom and once again refuses to go.

I have now been told that as Cahms feel he could do learning in small groups that the LEA has done everything they need to and as he wont attend the library sessions he is now being marked as absent and I risk being taken to court.

Basically nothing happened from Jan to Nov then literally this has happened in the last 10 days.

Anyway I cant change that so I have no option but to go down the Home Educating route. I have looked online for information this morning but there is so much out there.

One thing that has caught my attention is IGCSE online courses - does anyone have any idea about this or maybe can point me in another direction?

Many Thanks in advance.

Sorry to hear about all the problems you have been facing.

Both of my girls first took IGCSEs and then A'Levels in years 10 and 11. My youngest is currently in year 11 and has just completed a Diploma so it is certainly possible to achieve exam results through home ed.

Have you been in touch with your local home ed group at all? There are many meetings each month and it would probably be very reassuring if you could sit and chat to someone about it.

Good luck and if I can help in any way feel free to ask

pipkin71

I wanted to add as well that many home ed children don't take exams by year 11 and have gone on to do extremely well - going on to further education and university. Colleges will take home ed students without any formal qualifications if they pass tests before enrolling, so exams are not necessarily an urgent issue if your son is not ready.

Another thing to consider is to do with benefits. I was looking for something today and came across some information with regards child benefit and child tax credits which you can still claim if a child is home ed post 16 but only if they were already home ed before post 16.

indsty

It may well be that if you make it a definite "no, you are not going back to school - ever", that he will be able to relax a bit more. Then you have the discussion with him as to what to do next - home learning, open university, local college, voluntary work etc. If he is academically able he may well be able to "teach himself" with assistance from you.

Essex-girl_2

Wow, Thank you all - yes there has been a distinct lack of empathy from some people (especially my inlaws) but other people have been great. Luckily he has a cousin just a year younger who comes around a lot as well which really helps.

It is quite amazing how this can be quite common but you dont hear about it till if affects your own family.

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Armchair23

In all honesty I think education, formal or home led are not really an issue at the moment.

Whatever ails your son, the pressures of teaching (in any form) are at the moment probably a step too far.

I'd just concentrate on moving towards his health and happiness if that's possible. Because once that's in place all else will follow in it's own good time.

Take your love and good wishes and use them to help him towards being a person who can cope in the world. Frankly you can live without GCSEs but not without the ability to leave the house or smile at a happy moment.

meritaten

He can do his GCSEs any time - his health comes first. and frankly you have been failed by the system. why has nobody addressed his agrophobia? why haven't the school supported him? why hasn't the Lea supported him - and where was your GP in all this? he has lost a whole year...................at a time when just a day or week is crucial.
I think his mental health issues need dealing with first. getting him out and about. then perhaps he could go into further education and do his GCSEs at a local college.
it isn't the end of the world that he has missed GCSEs - but, he really needs a lot of support with his mental health from what you say.
if you feel that he could benefit from home schooling - then the poster 'reeree' is the one I know best. and she is very helpful.

Edwardia

I had panic attacks at uni and https://www.nopanic.org.uk is brilliant for anything anxiety-related and will do phone counselling.

Essex-girl_2

Thank you all.

Yes I feel that his mental health is more important - the school and LEA put so much pressure on to attend. I went to a meeting at the school (for the first time) 3 weeks ago and I said that if he was at work then he would have been signed off - but when they are school age then they law says they must attend. Obviously now it is until they are 18 too.

The GP says that whilst Cahms are involved there is nothing else she can do.

After talking to him yesterday he said that he will try and go to the library session on thursday. Will see if that happens, if not will withdraw him from school and go down the home ed route which at the very least will buy us more time.
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