Home Educating 16 Year Old Son

Essex-girl_2

Good morning

To make a long story short my son has been having serious anxiety issues, it started mainly with not being able to go in a car as he was sure he would be sick then OCD. Basically he has not been to school since Dec 2013. I was in contact with the school and LEA immediately and managed to get him to the Doctors. The school referred him to CAHMS. Between Jan and July I managed to get him out of the house 4 times. Cahms refererral took ages and in the first couple of home visits he refused to leave his room. All the time the school refused to send work home saying they couldn't until Cahms confirmed in writing that he was unable to attend school.

I left my job in Sept so that I could concentrate on him, I got him out more and more in the car although he would only go with me never anyone else. After no contact from the school for nearly a year I was contacted by a pastural teacher and went for a meeting. The school staff there did apologise and said they had failed him.

He was offered a place at a special learning school which I loved, he had a home visit but refused to go to the school. He has now been offered 2 x 1 hour lessons in a local library but at the last min has locked himself in his bedroom and once again refuses to go.

I have now been told that as Cahms feel he could do learning in small groups that the LEA has done everything they need to and as he wont attend the library sessions he is now being marked as absent and I risk being taken to court.

Basically nothing happened from Jan to Nov then literally this has happened in the last 10 days.

Anyway I cant change that so I have no option but to go down the Home Educating route. I have looked online for information this morning but there is so much out there.

One thing that has caught my attention is IGCSE online courses - does anyone have any idea about this or maybe can point me in another direction?

Many Thanks in advance.

Eliza_2

There are quite a few home educators on here, I can't remember any names so hope they see this. I know many people have found Education Otherwise a great help, they've been around for several decades and have masses of experience, local groups etc.

Essex-girl_2

Thank you Eliza

Mojisola

Start the process to avoid any legal action -
http://www.educationotherwise.net/?option=com_content&view=article&id=77&Itemid=69

Once you're safe from that, you can concentrate on which courses are best for him. In the meantime, get him watching stuff like the TED lectures.

Our local FE college does home-based GCSE courses with telephone support and the occasional face-to-face visit - contact yours and see if they do something similar.

Mojisola

I haven't any direct experience of http://www.nisai.com/ but Tymes Trust has links with them to help children with ME continue with their education at home.

whitewing

What medical treatment/counselling is he having currently? Is he having anything? If he is not well enough to face learning in a small group, then maybe he needs more/different treatment? Perhaps a mental health advocate can help? Perhaps a different keyworker at CAMHS? (Obviously we don't have the background here anyway).

(Home education may well be the best thing for him but it should be a positive life choice among a range of options, not a default because you can't get him to do anything else).

Essex-girl_2

Thank you all for your replies.

Whitewing - at the moment just CAHMS, the person there is just chatting with him at the moment and from the next visit she is going to start teaching him methods to deal with his anxieties. Our GP advised that as CAHMS are dealing there is nothing else that can be done at the moment.

He has always hated school since reception but went in. His current school (he is now year 11) has had a lot of changes since a new headmaster came just over a year ago. At the last count 17 teachers had left. As a family we did have a lot of stress till last year, finances and his Dad had a few health problems, all of which are much better now. Everything seemed better and then his issues started.

Basically the LEA have said that as CAHMS have advised that in their opinion he could deal with small group learning and they have offered that then there is no other options - they have done all that is required and if he doesn't attend then we are at fault.

The last time he saw Cahms he did it at their centre (15 minutes away - we are rural so everything is 15 minutes away!). We are due again to go on Wednesday so I will have to talk with her and see where we can go.

Basically I think he feels that he has been left alone for a year and now everything has changed in the last 2 weeks.

I think the stress of GCSE's was too much for him. He was popular, outgoing and appeared happy go lucky. He is not stupid but school wasnt the best learning situation for him. He had a couple of teachers in certain subjects that he thrived with but the lessons of maths and english he just couldnt seem to deal with.

Gigglepig

OP from the info given in your post it sounds to me like your son has some difficulties that he needs professional support with - home educating would not address those issues?

I would try pushing the school, gp etc to help find a solution (including special school, counselling and medication if that is what they would advise) and perhaps see if there are any charities that can advise and support you as a parent?

Your son is already 16 - if you can get "the system" to help him now with his anxiety and education issues he may be in a better position as an adult, since it sounds like otherwise he'll be completely reliant on you for the foreseeable future?

whitewing

If he is 16, have you spoken to the local college?

Our local one is pretty good with students with specific difficulties, and it may be a better environment for him to thrive in? Not necessarily for this academic year but to plan him doing GCSEs from next academic year? It may be worth having a chat with them rather than trying to enrol him on something right now. (Keep up with the learning in preparation for that).

Essex-girl_2

Whitewing - I think I will, my DD went to college instead of 6th form, she struggled at school but thrived at college - now she is at Uni - there was so much support for her there.

Gigglepig - I think I will push harder now, both the school and the doctor led me to believe that Cahms is the only option at the moment. He is sociable with anyone who comes round the house and goes to the local football club (walking distance) for training so is seeing people his own age and is getting exercise.

The lady who is head teacher at the Specialised Learning Unit did say to me that there is a massive problem with schools nowdays - pushing kids to come out with the 'right' qualifications that are right for the school not necessary right for the child. She gets 10 referrals a day - she did admit that looking back at my sons record - if she had 'got' to him in year 9 he would have done really well there however we just kept pushing him to school thinking it was the only option.

He has another lesson in the local library booked for Thursday afternoon and at the moment has said he will go. If he does then great, if not will see what I can do at home for the moment then hope to look at college for September.

Thank you all for taking the time to comment

kafkathecat

Hi, if learning at home is the best option for you there are some good resources out there. My son had correspondence courses by Catherine Mooney for English and Sam Martell for sciences. NEC has a wider range but the one I bought for French didn't really appeal to my son. Also, I know some colleges have courses which can be completed online but I don't know anyone who has done those so cannot comment.
College could be a good option for you son if/when he feels able to go.
Maths IGCSE can be done with just the textbook if you have someone on hand to answer questions.
Good luck.