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"Kindness glues couples together"
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I think it's also important to remember, that even if you are in a fury, once you have said something, hurtful, humiliating or cruel, to your partner, it can never be taken back, and the memory can fester for years.
Least said, soonest mended, is often the best way forward.
Lin
You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands..........for instance, if they are placed around your throat, she's probably slightly upset.
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I think it's also important to remember, that even if you are in a fury, once you have said something, hurtful, humiliating or cruel, to your partner, it can never be taken back, and the memory can fester for years.
Never a truer word has been spoken.This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com0 -
Gloomendoom wrote: »Groan... my wife has just announced she "wouldn't mind" a Jeep JK. Does this mean that I have to buy her one to keep our marriage solid and stable?
Yes you do. And you must also book a trip to the Caribbean for the two of you for early summer next year, and get her a £200 gift voucher for 'Next.'
Proud to have lost over 3 stone (45 pounds,) in the past year! :j Now a size 14!
You're not singing anymore........ You're not singing any-more!0 -
:eek: that has sent shivers down my spine... Make the first move...... When I'm right....... I think I need to go lie down. :rotfl:
See, it is all about interpretation! I said when you THINK you are right, not when you are! That's the issue, you can reach the point where both think they are right and are set to try to prove to the other that the onus is on them to implement change because of it.
A good relationship is when you accept that although you might think you are right, you trust your partner enough to accept that maybe you are wrong, and that most likely, ultimately, it doesn't matter who is right or wrong and who makes the first move because it is the outcome of making the effort that will make the relationship a happy one.0 -
Actually I think the currency of the act is related to frequency and not magnitude.Gloomendoom wrote: »Groan... my wife has just announced she "wouldn't mind" a Jeep JK. Does this mean that I have to buy her one to keep our marriage solid and stable?
Hence you would score more virtual "points" if you made lots of small considerate gestures rather than spending a fortune on something that brings a lot of instant gratitude, but your wife becomes used to. I guess a car would fit that category Value-for-money-for-me-puhleeze!
"No man is worth, crawling on the earth"- adapted from Bob Crewe and Bob Gaudio
Hope is not a strategy...A child is for life, not just 18 years....Don't get me started on the NHS, because you won't win...I love chaz-ing!0 -
One thing they don't mention in that study is when one partner is the kind and positive type and the other isn't. What happens then?Val.0
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The kind and positive person gets to a state where they are bogged down and resentful.One thing they don't mention in that study is when one partner is the kind and positive type and the other isn't. What happens then?This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com0 -
One thing they don't mention in that study is when one partner is the kind and positive type and the other isn't. What happens then?
The kindness and positivity rubs off on the other one.I'm a Forum Ambassador on the housing, mortgages & student money saving boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Forum Ambassadors are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.0 -
The kindness and positivity rubs off on the other one.
No - you just 'give up'. and the kindness and positivity becomes resentment. You can keep 'giving' and 'giving' and one day you realise - its like sowing seeds on stony ground. and then something dies in you and you just don't 'give' anymore.0 -
Yes, if it isn't reciprocated eventually it's gone forever, being kind can be the death knell because it can be seen as a pushover and you end up being hated for it,hard to believe if you haven't been through it.No - you just 'give up'. and the kindness and positivity becomes resentment. You can keep 'giving' and 'giving' and one day you realise - its like sowing seeds on stony ground. and then something dies in you and you just don't 'give' anymore.0
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