Help!

chimchiminey

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I read the same thing.

pmlindyloo

I do wish people on this forum would stop banging on about care home fees.

If mum is healthy and fit at the age of 62 years giving money away would not been seen as deprivation of assets.

The way people talk on here you would think that nobody could help out their children because it would be seen as deprivation of assets! Let's use some common sense here.

Personally, I think the thing that is more important is the question of where mum lives. Having done it myself, having parents live with you is far from easy (and we had a granny flat)

62 years old is young these days and I think your mum should be encouraged to continue to live a dependent life.

Why did she sell her house? Was it too big? Does she want to be nearer you/your sister/grandchildren?

All these things are probably achievable without her living with you. A smaller house/flat near you and she may still be able to give you and your sister some money.

Please have a talk with her and find out why she wants to give you so much and why she wants to live with you. Then, perhaps you can come to a compromise.

The thought of a cash sum is always very welcome but please focus on the negatives as well as the positives.

You are young, may remarry, want to move somewhere else. Things can change and your mum is young too. She may be the one to want to travel/move abroad etc etc. Keep things simple is my advice!

chimchiminey

Yes, my sister thought of the 'what if you meet someone' scenario. I could always go back to my original home, but then I can't have two main residences can I? Or I could go live with him! This is an important factor in the decision!

IHT. My mum has a double IHT band due to my father passing a couple of years ago. So I believe the threshold is £650,000 and her estate would be worth £385,000.

Mum doesn't want a big house, she felt lost in it. And lonely. She says that all she needs is a room to sleep in and will use her money to travel etc with no bills and no worries. She is very fit and healthy and works two jobs!

I'm not thinking of the money, and have been suggesting that she buy outright so there are no issues, but she is insisting!

TheCyclingProgrammer

Sounds like IHT won't be a problem unless her estate significantly increases.

As for alternative plans, would the £85k be enough for your Mum to buy a small place of her own? I don't know where you are in the country so maybe not feasible. Or did she have other plans for the money? What if she reduced what she gave you and your sister to £125k each, giving her an extra £50k to play with. Could she buy somewhere with that and still have a tidy sum left over?

chimchiminey

LEJC wrote: »

Thinking outside the box a little....how about a new partner for you,and the dynamic of another in the household living with a MIL!


Or dare I be very radical and suggest the new partner for mum....please take my comment seriously,my mother remarried at the age of 70.


That was certainly something that blindsided us and we didnt see happening...

Oh noooooooo! Thats too much! I don't think she would but OMG!

chimchiminey

TheCyclingProgrammer wrote: »

Sounds like IHT won't be a problem unless her estate significantly increases.

As for alternative plans, would the £85k be enough for your Mum to buy a small place of her own? I don't know where you are in the country so maybe not feasible. Or did she have other plans for the money? What if she reduced what she gave you and your sister to £125k each, giving her an extra £50k to play with. Could she buy somewhere with that and still have a tidy sum left over?

No, we live in London! She wants to be with or near us.. I think she wants a worry and hassle free way of living.

Linton

A bad idea for Mum to lose ownership of her home in my view. Down size and live somewhere more convenient fine, but give away her assets now, definitely no. 62 is young, assuming she is healthy now, she could well live for another 30 years and she may well need the money.

What happens to Mum if you die?
What happens if you two fall out?
What happens to Mum if you for some reason can no longer look after her?

chimchiminey

Linton wrote: »

A bad idea for Mum to lose ownership of her home in my view. Down size and live somewhere more convenient fine, but give away her assets now, definitely no. 62 is young, assuming she is healthy now, she could well live for another 30 years and she may well need the money.

What happens to Mum if you die?
What happens if you two fall out?
What happens to Mum if you for some reason can no longer look after her?

My will would reflect that she would need to reside in the house until whatever happens.

We won't fall out. I know you will say we might, but we just won't. Even so, I could move out.

My mum is fine, she doesnt need looking after! If you are talking about care provisions if needed then I would sell.

Although its a nice sentiment from my mum, I think that she should hold on to her money and buy elsewhere. But seriously, she thinks she had an epiphany. I'm trying to show her the pitfalls of her plan, and am trying to see what I haven't thought of.

Chim
x

LEJC

can I ask what type of property are you considering to purchase for you,mum and your daughter....3 bed?


2 bed with seperate annex...either for daughter or mum...
does your budget cover the various different needs of the 3 of you considering that you are 3 seperate generations with different possible priorities.
and one final q
what does your 14 year old think of the plan...she is at a transitional age whereby the prospect of living with dad and grandmother cant be under estimated....and although there is no crystal ball then again whats the relationship going to be with you all in 3 years time...5 years time...

chimchiminey

LEJC wrote: »

can I ask what type of property are you considering to purchase for you,mum and your daughter....3 bed?


2 bed with seperate annex...either for daughter or mum...
does your budget cover the various different needs of the 3 of you considering that you are 3 seperate generations with different possible priorities.
and one final q
what does your 14 year old think of the plan...she is at a transitional age whereby the prospect of living with dad and grandmother cant be under estimated....and although there is no crystal ball then again whats the relationship going to be with you all in 3 years time...5 years time...

It would be a three bed. We have been looking online and have never come across a property with an annexe in the area we wanted on our budget.

We have lived with her before and as long as my daughter has her own room, she says that she is happy. All she needs is a smartphone to be honest. smh.

I'm a lady! So it would be Grandma, mum and daughter... My mum is always at mine anyways, albeit napping on the sofa, we all have a great relationship.

in three years time she says that she will be living at Uni. But I guess no one knows what the future holds. Looking at every scenario.