Husband left using 'post it' aged 70!!!

seth0571

Hi All

Not sure if this is the correct section to post this in but hey ho! My mother in law returned home last week to find a post it note saying her husband has left her (she's 74 he is 70). They are living in housing association accomadation & he paid the rent & some money towards food & she paid for the remaining bills. She has just found out through a friend he has already set himself up in a new flat & cancelled all the direct debits leaving her to cope without knowing what is going on.
We are all really worried about how she will cope, mentally she is holding up really well (I'd fall to pieces!) but she now has to find an extra £600 per month. She is working still part time but does have mobility issues & we are all worried if anything happens if she cannot work due to illness, at the moment she says she cans just about pay the bills. Surely he cannot just walk away like this? We know (although none of us know how much including her) he earns way more than my mom in law.
We are getting her an appointment with the CBA but I'm hoping that she can go for him (reluctantly) after spousal maintenance. It just grieves me to think this man she has been married to for 10 years & living with for 15 years can abandon her & walk away & start again. Sorry for the rant just very worried for her & the situation.
Any advice on this strange situation would be greatly appreciated!

j.e.j.

The Housing Association may well be able to help her with regard to what benefits she might be entitled to. Has he handed in his notice there? Hopefully her tenancy is secure?

BrassicWoman

she should look into housing benefit to help with the rent, and apply for the single person's council tax discount immediately.

jaylee3

Can't add much to the above really. But yes she should get financial help with rent etc, as long as she hasn't got shed loads of dosh in savings.

duchy

And if HE has savings half are hers .
(and vice versa)

jaylee3

True.......

margaretclare

The OP says 'Surely he can't just walk away?'

Well, that was what my DH did at the end of his last (disastrous) marriage. He left a letter on the mantelpiece and yes, just did walk away.

He was 62 at the time.

meritaten

this is so sad - but she needs urgent advice. CAB is good and so is Shelter if she is worried about her tenancy rights.

marisco_2

seth0571 wrote: »

mentally she is holding up really well (I'd fall to pieces!)

The poor lady may well be in shock at the moment, and the enormity of what has happened may not have hit her fully yet. I cant imagine how awful it was for her to come home to a post it note delivering horrendous news. It sounds like she has the love and support of a caring family around her to see her through this difficult time, which I am sure is helping her greatly.

duchy

margaretclare wrote: »

The OP says 'Surely he can't just walk away?'

Well, that was what my DH did at the end of his last (disastrous) marriage. He left a letter on the mantelpiece and yes, just did walk away.

He was 62 at the time.

Not sure I'd want people to know I was married to a man capable of such cowardice. Sounds like he has little respect for women and marriage. I note you say "his last" so presumably not his first marriage - Hopefully he won't do the same thing to you too !

mgdavid

duchy wrote: »

Not sure I'd want people to know I was married to a man capable of such cowardice. Sounds like he has little respect for women and marriage. I note you say "his last" so presumably not his first marriage - Hopefully he won't do the same thing to you too !

unusually judgemental there duchy! Don't forget women can be abusive and bullying too - he may have simply been escaping just in time with his sanity and life intact...