Question re stealing money from account after death?

bengal-stripe

kidmugsy wrote: »

It would be nice to think you were. Do you approve of all theft?

Neither of us knows the ins and outs of that relationship. It is possible that the account in question acted as the main household account and the partner just claimed her money back. Equally, there might be considerable investments of the partner into the property the couple did occupy.

Obviously in that sad saga there is one mercenary party, but whether it is the OP and his/her mother or it is the partner, I do not know. Maybe both parties could meet up and thrash-out some agreement without animosity.

baza52

Had a very similar thing happen to my wife a few years back.
Her Mum died without a will and was living with her partner.
Wife was next of kin etc but the partner had taken over 3 grand from her account after she died even drawing cash out the day of the funeral.
We contacted the bank (Santander) and the police but neither were interested in helping.
Never saw a penny of the money he had withdrawn.

Archi_Bald

May be he used the money to pay for the funeral?

baza52

Archi_Bald wrote: »

May be he used the money to pay for the funeral?

No he didn't. We paid for the funeral out of what was left in the account.
He more than likely spent it in the local club where he spends all of his time.

weemck85

Hello all,

Thanks for your input. With regards to the comment about feeling sorry for the other woman, she withdrew money literally hours after my dad died. Then the following day emptied the account to the last possible penny. Does that not speak volumes of the kind of person we are talking about?

Regarding the funeral payment, my mum is having to pay for it all. There is outstanding car finance/credit cards etc all of which my mum is having to pay for.

I don't wish to discuss the in's and out's of the relationship between my mum and dad, but it's safe to say that as soon as he went off with the other woman, he knew he had made a mistake but was very much of the opinion 'I've made my bed so i'll lie in it.' He never lost contact with mum whether it be by texts/calls and if the other woman knew about that I have no clue. To put it in laymans terms, he simply could not let my mum go.

I appreciate all the positive input, however I do not feel sorry for the other woman and from the statement that Santander gave me in order to go through standing orders to cancel them, he was not paying any bills towards her house (that's not to say he wasn't giving her cash in hand.) The balance in the account was there because of my dads wages being paid in. There is no money in the account that could legally be the other womans. The woman made a comment to me the night my dad died that she was very independent, had her own house blah blah so emptying the account has nothing to d with leaving her in the lurch.

Whilst I was in the bank yesterday I did ask the advisor if I should call the police to get the ball rolling but I was told to hang off until their investigation team looked into it. But there is no way i'm letting this slide.

As for the account holder being grossly negligent with regards to possibly making details available, the bottom line is my dad is no longer here to say if he did or not provide her with the pin numbers etc. And surely ultimately any withdrawal has to be made with the agreement of the account holder(s)??

Torry_Quine

weemck85 wrote: »

Hello all,

Thanks for your input. With regards to the comment about feeling sorry for the other woman, she withdrew money literally hours after my dad died. Then the following day emptied the account to the last possible penny. Does that not speak volumes of the kind of person we are talking about?

Regarding the funeral payment, my mum is having to pay for it all. There is outstanding car finance/credit cards etc all of which my mum is having to pay for.

I don't wish to discuss the in's and out's of the relationship between my mum and dad, but it's safe to say that as soon as he went off with the other woman, he knew he had made a mistake but was very much of the opinion 'I've made my bed so i'll lie in it.' He never lost contact with mum whether it be by texts/calls and if the other woman knew about that I have no clue. To put it in laymans terms, he simply could not let my mum go.

I appreciate all the positive input, however I do not feel sorry for the other woman and from the statement that Santander gave me in order to go through standing orders to cancel them, he was not paying any bills towards her house (that's not to say he wasn't giving her cash in hand.) The balance in the account was there because of my dads wages being paid in. There is no money in the account that could legally be the other womans. The woman made a comment to me the night my dad died that she was very independent, had her own house blah blah so emptying the account has nothing to d with leaving her in the lurch.

Whilst I was in the bank yesterday I did ask the advisor if I should call the police to get the ball rolling but I was told to hang off until their investigation team looked into it. But there is no way i'm letting this slide.

As for the account holder being grossly negligent with regards to possibly making details available, the bottom line is my dad is no longer here to say if he did or not provide her with the pin numbers etc. And surely ultimately any withdrawal has to be made with the agreement of the account holder(s)??

Did your mum arrange for the funeral as that's the only way she would be liable to pay for it.

She is not personally liable for his debts such as car loans, credit cards, the estate is. This means if there isn't enough left the debt will die with him.

You still haven't said if he did actually leave any estate and who inherits. Or what you are trustee of?

She maybe felt after him living with her and paying nothing towards the expenses, as far as you know, that she was 'owed' something. That doesn't make it legal but could be the thought and the fact that she did it right away tells us nothing as how we act in bereavement can be strange to others.

Steve_xx

weemck85 wrote: »

Hello all,

Thanks for your input. With regards to the comment about feeling sorry for the other woman, she withdrew money literally hours after my dad died. Then the following day emptied the account to the last possible penny. Does that not speak volumes of the kind of person we are talking about?

Regarding the funeral payment, my mum is having to pay for it all. There is outstanding car finance/credit cards etc all of which my mum is having to pay for.

I don't wish to discuss the in's and out's of the relationship between my mum and dad, but it's safe to say that as soon as he went off with the other woman, he knew he had made a mistake but was very much of the opinion 'I've made my bed so i'll lie in it.' He never lost contact with mum whether it be by texts/calls and if the other woman knew about that I have no clue. To put it in laymans terms, he simply could not let my mum go.

I appreciate all the positive input, however I do not feel sorry for the other woman and from the statement that Santander gave me in order to go through standing orders to cancel them, he was not paying any bills towards her house (that's not to say he wasn't giving her cash in hand.) The balance in the account was there because of my dads wages being paid in. There is no money in the account that could legally be the other womans. The woman made a comment to me the night my dad died that she was very independent, had her own house blah blah so emptying the account has nothing to d with leaving her in the lurch.

Whilst I was in the bank yesterday I did ask the advisor if I should call the police to get the ball rolling but I was told to hang off until their investigation team looked into it. But there is no way i'm letting this slide.

As for the account holder being grossly negligent with regards to possibly making details available, the bottom line is my dad is no longer here to say if he did or not provide her with the pin numbers etc. And surely ultimately any withdrawal has to be made with the agreement of the account holder(s)??

I think regardless of how Santander propose to proceed, your mum ought to go to the police and at least register that there is a problem. At the very least she should go to a police station and discuss the situation.

weemck85

No my mum didn't arrange the funeral, the other woman did. Then contacted us to go and pay for it with my dads life insurance which she somehow knew about. My mum thereafter went to funeral directors and signed saying she was now responsible for the payment. Perhaps things could have been handled differently, but i'm 28 and have never had a parent die before. My mum is totally broken and I think almost felt obligated to pay because she is still his wife.

He has a will and everything he owns/jointly owns goes to my mum. Despite him leaving my mum for someone else, he often pointed out to my mum that 'nothing would change' with regards to that.There is enough in the estate in terms of what the 'marital' home is worth to pay off the debts.

As previously mentioned, there is nothing to suggest he had any standing orders for bills etc. In fact, going back to my previous point about him being unable to let my mum go, there is no actual paper trail he was ever living with the other woman. Every single bill/account etc remained at the marital home. The other woman was quick to point out her independent woman status and that she never relied on a man for anything so I don't think she felt she was owed anything.

I disagree with the point about it telling us nothing. If my partner had just died the last thing that would enter my mind would be raiding his bank account. Aside from that, the day after he died she was on the phone to his works pension people to see if she was down as a nominee for any death in service payment. The financial motivation here is clear to see.

However this all digressing from my original question as to whether on not my mum is likely to get this money back. The practicality of the situation is that because she has caused my dads account to now go over his overdraft, letters are being sent to my mum on a daily basis to make her aware of rejected payments. It's just an all round distressing situation not being made any easier by this other woman.

weemck85

Steve_xx wrote: »

I think regardless of how Santander propose to proceed, your mum ought to go to the police and at least register that there is a problem. At the very least she should go to a police station and discuss the situation.

Hi Steve,

I've since found out that if the bank refund the money then they technically become the victim and they will pursue the criminal element themselves. I just don't know what is correct?? I'm planning on phoning Santander tomorrow to see what the update is and what they plan to do about involving the police.

Steve_xx

weemck85 wrote: »

No my mum didn't arrange the funeral, the other woman did. Then contacted us to go and pay for it with my dads life insurance which she somehow knew about. My mum thereafter went to funeral directors and signed saying she was now responsible for the payment. Perhaps things could have been handled differently, but i'm 28 and have never had a parent die before. My mum is totally broken and I think almost felt obligated to pay because she is still his wife.

He has a will and everything he owns/jointly owns goes to my mum. Despite him leaving my mum for someone else, he often pointed out to my mum that 'nothing would change' with regards to that.There is enough in the estate in terms of what the 'marital' home is worth to pay off the debts.

As previously mentioned, there is nothing to suggest he had any standing orders for bills etc. In fact, going back to my previous point about him being unable to let my mum go, there is no actual paper trail he was ever living with the other woman. Every single bill/account etc remained at the marital home. The other woman was quick to point out her independent woman status and that she never relied on a man for anything so I don't think she felt she was owed anything.

I disagree with the point about it telling us nothing. If my partner had just died the last thing that would enter my mind would be raiding his bank account. Aside from that, the day after he died she was on the phone to his works pension people to see if she was down as a nominee for any death in service payment. The financial motivation here is clear to see.

However this all digressing from my original question as to whether on not my mum is likely to get this money back. The practicality of the situation is that because she has caused my dads account to now go over his overdraft, letters are being sent to my mum on a daily basis to make her aware of rejected payments. It's just an all round distressing situation not being made any easier by this other woman.

I think that the answer is that nobody here can be sure if your mum will recover the funds that the live-in partner has stolen. It largely depends on whether the bank will assume the responsibilty for the loss of funds from dads account. My guess, and it is only a guess, will be that the bank will seek to avoid paying out, citing the fact that the PIN details have been given/acquired by another. This why I think you should be having some contact with the police. Time is/may also be of the essence here. If the money has been spent then it'll be more difficult to recover it, especially if the individual has no money to speak of.