How To Stop Spending?

xbethanyx

How do you all stop spending? I just can't seem to for anymore than 2 weeks... I just can't seem to cut up my cards - what if I need them? How do I get cash out if I have no cards? Even if I kept my debit card for cash, I can still easily buy something online with it?
My husband has a running joke when he sees me on the ipad and asks "what sh**e are you buying now?" or "you're attracted to sh**e" and I 99.9% usually am... I have curtailed slightly so far my love of buying expensive candles and any old tat but I always end up running out of something like toilet roll and going into a shop and coming out having spent £38 (like on Sunday...) Oh I'll just get that while I'm here, oh I fancy that to eat instead... The usual!!
I like browsing websites to see what I can buy , usually when I should be doing something else!! - such a bad idea!!
I have tried these no spend challenges but after about the 2 week mark it bores me (not sure if bore is the right choice of word?) and I give up and go buy again.
Food impulse buys seem to be the worst as I do keep spending diaries. I have plenty of meals and food in the house, but a pizza or hot dogs for dinner always seem more appealing than what I have in the freezer etc...
I have the mentality of "omg I want that!!" and will just buy it.
A few times I have left my cards and still went to buy something and my husband has had to pay with his card.

Sorry for the long rant, but I'm just so sick of it now!!

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HappyMJ

I don't visit the shop any more to stop me thinking I need or want something which I don't really need. However, I can't take advantage of yellow stickers (reduced stock) so it'll cost a little more but it is saving me money only buying the exact groceries that I need.

If I run out of something it does not get replaced until the next fortnightly shop. This includes toilet paper so make sure you buy enough. Having a store cupboard of these essentials when they on special offer is a great way of saving money. If it's half price buy twice as much or more...especially on products which don't have an expiry date.

Zerdi6

I don't spend because I literally don't have the money to.

My rent, bills and a small amount for savings leave my account the day I get paid. I do an online grocery shop for the month and whats left is for diesel

There's a lot of things I want and would love to buy, but since starting my DMP I've realised I would much rather save and have an amount just sat in my bank.

mwa

I could have written this post! Are you a compulsive person by nature anyway? I have come to realise over the last few weeks that this lies at the heart of 80% of my spending. I always feel like I am missing a bargain or an opportunity to somehow enhance my life if I leave that 'thing' on the shelf.

I am working on my compulsiveness in general, I find distraction is the best way to stop that feeling of 'I must have that NOW' and in most cases the feeling passes and you get more of a buzz from saving the money instead of splurging it.

Incidentally, I am using the Paul McKenna 'I can Make you Rich' hypnosis method which is helping massively.

I will be following this thread with interest for tips!

FireWyrm

This is all down to human nature and how it is exploited by our consumerist society. Once you understand that, you can begin to work out ways to overcome it. It is human nature to be avaricial and the advertising industry simply plays on that. It tells you that you are worthless if you dont have something or that your life will be better if you do and you are programed as a primate to respond to it. Our ancestors who coveted mates, food, territory and better habitat all prospered and became us. So, what you see on TV...are, mates, habitat, food etc. You are programmed to want them regardless.

Now, add a layer of concept which we call Money and you have a recipe for disaster. In times gone by, you would simply have taken what you want from a rival and as long as you could hold onto it, it was yours. Now, we have to 'pay' for the thing we want, so acquiring it has an added dimension (unless you are a shoplifter). Unfortuantely, with the advent of credit, we find it even easier to acquire the item we covet, but we do not always have the means to pay for it in reality. In the past, it profited you nothing to hold a thousand acres of territory if you couldnt patrol and protect it, so you didnt acquire that much - it was too much to deal with. We now have unlimited funds to acquire whatever we want and none of the consequences of trying to hold it. So, the answer is to put practical obstacles in the way, just as your ancestors would have encountered.

1) Get rid of the motivation to acquire things. TV is the main source of this and although people did experience debt in the past, the scale experienced today is uniquely modern and only within the last 30-40 years or so, since TV became a household requirement. Ditch the TV. Not only dont you actually watch anything like enough hours to justify the cost, you will save yourself lots of heartache.

2) Get rid of the ability to acquire goods you cant hold (hold, as in protect and use). So, cut up the credit cards for a start. Studies have shown conclusively that we are prepared to spend twice as much money on an item if we are paying via credit card. Withdraw cash. Humans are uniquely able to quantify tokens (which is all money is). When you look at those tokens in your hand, you can visualise their 'worth' in goods. This produces a negative feeling when you part with those tokens for anything less than something of equal worth. This approach ensures that you not only hunt for whatever you are intent on acquiring, but that the worth is sound in your mind. You wouldnt part with a cow in exchange for a mouse....but you might if the cow wasnt yours in the first place and you only have a vague sense of having to pay back the real owner in some unquantifiable weight of meat.

3) Limit opportunity to acquire. You cannot buy if you are not in the shop. I use this approach when I periodically fall off the wagon with smoking. I knew I cannot afford to smoke and I shouldnt. I simply stop going to the shop and I am therefore not tempted to purchase and if I'm not even thinking about it, I cant 'justify' the purchase to myself. Limit your online activity, impose boundaries on spending, or just plain set up your online accounts against a non-overdraft enabled account which has a stipend. The threat of a penalty (unauthorised overdraft) should stop you spending and impose the same negative feeling when you part with your tokens.

4) Override your avarice. I could go mad in just about any department store, but the truth is, I dont need half the junk being sold. They rely on impulse buying for 90% of their revenue and that is what the displays are designed to entice you into. If you want something and you find yourself justifying it to yourself, take out your notebook, write down the item, the price and the shop and put it in a jar for 30 days. At the end of 30 days, if you havnt clean forgotten about the item, you are convinced still that you NEED it and you have the means to acquire it, then buy it, guilt free. All you have to do is control yourself for 30 days....how hard is that?

moohound

Find something else to do entirely, I stopped shopping when I stopped looking.

FireWyrm

moohound wrote: »

Find something else to do entirely, I stopped shopping when I stopped looking.

Or, you could just do that yeah.

Muhren

I am going to come at this from a slightly different angle. I have an addiction to gambling which is not too far disconnected from your addiction to shopping. So in theory you should be able to implement some of the things that I do to help you stop/reduce your spending.

Firstly can you hand over your cards to your other half? If you don't carry your cards with you then you haven't got that option to use them. You can take it when you need to fill up with petrol, that's what I did to start.

Carry only the cash that you need for the day. If you haven't got it you can't spend it.

Avoid going into, or walking passed, shops that you know you have a weakeness for in order to curb the temptation.

I have a program on my computer that blocks my access to betting sites. There are loads of options on there to block different types of sites and I'm sure shopping is one of them. I use something called K9, it might be worth you checking out.

If I think of anything else I will let you know.

Pixie5740

Sell the iPad. That'll stop you browsing at shops online.

You could make a MSE Money Mantra Card to go in your purse:

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/shopping/money-mantras

Giraffeseeker

Direct you compulsiveness into money saving - you'll get as much of a buzz from it! I use YNAB and it's my stubborn pride that won't let me overspend the categories and it worked for me.

twiggy86

xbethanyx wrote: »

I have tried these no spend challenges but after about the 2 week mark it bores me (not sure if bore is the right choice of word?) and I give up and go buy again.

Maybe you need to start off gradually by giving yourself an allowance rather than stop spending altogether and that way you won't get to the "oh sod it" point!
I'm new to this DFW but what seems to be working for me so far is: I allow myself £40 per week for anything/everything (its mine!), what I don't spend gets put aside for me in an envelope rather than sitting in my purse (but its still mine!) and then I can use it for more expensive purchases/nights outs etc (or once I hit a certain mark I might pay of some debts with some of it and keep some aside for (haven't got to that point yet as I'm a newbie!)).
Last weekend I treated myself a Chinese takeaway but only had one dish and then stole some of the OHs! So I don't feel deprived. This weekend I'm going to best friends and will use the "left over" money for that as will probably go to the pub or a wander round the shops, not that I'm going to "try" to spend it but its ok if I do.
One of my "treats" was coke/Fanta etc. Instead of buying 1 bottle daily for over £1, I now buy a pack on Mr T brand cans - 8 for £1.50!
I also have pots/envelopes for different things - so my shopping money is in an envelope in my bag and I use that money (and only that money) for shopping only. Again I put the left overs aside each week (we're doing up our house so I put it aside for that). I'm really finding that segmenting my money (me, shopping, petrol etc) is helping MASSIVELY!
I think this approach helps me as actually I'm just being sensible with money rather than restricting myself.
Hope you find some help in my ramblings!