I'm going to propose

supermassive

I had thought about going a bit extreme and arranging for him to be kidnapped, then I would swoop in and save him and propose... but I think he'd probably have an asthma attack and die..

I had honestly thought about the practicalities of tying a ring to my dog, but he's a mad Jack Russell Terrier and will probably eat it or die trying..

I think I want to do something a bit out of the ordinary, like taking him for a skydive and replacing the parachute with a ring box, but then that's not safe.

He's part of a theatre all singing-all-dancing group, so I could perhaps have them flashmob him and propose on my behalf so I don't get flustered, but then there's people, again.

Bury the ring in a cheesecake?

RuthnJasper

supermassive wrote: »

I'm thinking about strapping a ring to my dog's back and waking him up by launching him on the bed lol

Definitely involve the dog! He's part of the family too!

And the ring could be suitably wrapped and boxed prior to attaching to the dog, in case he's minded to see what it tastes like...!

You could also get a plain white doggy-vest and decorate it with a fabric transfer print of a photo of yourselves with a message or just writing with fabric paint (you say it's your dog so something like "We both love you - will you marry us?!").

Whatever you decide to do, I hope it goes well (keep us posted!) and that you have a very long and happy future together. xx

Edit: - Or just pop the vest on the dog and bring out the ring once he's seen that, while he's still laughing (hopefully ). That way, canine sabotage will be thwarted. And (more seriously) - be very careful about hiding the ring in food; nothing spoils the mood more than a hasty dash to A&E followed by a patient wait armed with a bucket and some tweezers... xxx

supermassive

RuthnJasper wrote: »

Definitely involve the dog! He's part of the family too!

And the ring could be suitably wrapped and boxed prior to attaching to the dog, in case he's minded to see what it tastes like...!

You could also get a plain white doggy-vest and decorate it with a fabric transfer print of a photo of yourselves with a message or just writing with fabric paint (you say it's your dog so something like "We both love you - will you marry us?!").

Whatever you decide to do, I hope it goes well (keep us posted!) and that you have a very long and happy future together. xx

Edit: - Or just pop the vest on the dog and bring out the ring once he's seen that, while he's still laughing (hopefully ). That way, canine sabotage will be thwarted. And (more seriously) - be very careful about hiding the ring in food; nothing spoils the mood more than a hasty dash to A&E followed by a patient wait armed with a bucket and some tweezers... xxx

I'm not too worried about a trip to A&E, we should, by rights, get clubcard points for the amount of time and energy we waste there. bf's a bit..erm... broken and accident prone and, to top that off, a hypo-condreac (I don't know how to spell it!). Although I'd like to not kill him if possible...

I might spell it out with candles in the back garden when he's in the shower and put a note under the door that tells him to look out of the back bedroom window. (that's the bit where slushy music starts playing, but I can just hum instead).

RuthnJasper

supermassive wrote: »

I'm not too worried about a trip to A&E, we should, by rights, get clubcard points for the amount of time and energy we waste there. bf's a bit..erm... broken and accident prone and, to top that off, a hypo-condreac (I don't know how to spell it!). Although I'd like to not kill him if possible...

I might spell it out with candles in the back garden when he's in the shower and put a note under the door that tells him to look out of the back bedroom window. (that's the bit where slushy music starts playing, but I can just hum instead).

He loves you. He will LOVE whichever way you decide to pop the question. xxx

P.S. I'm still firmly in favour of the dog option...

supermassive

I did it.

I bought one of those split-open baubles that usually have chocolate or nivea or something inside, and wrote his name on it. I put the ring in there & waited until the day after boxing day when I couldn't wait any longer and suggested we take the tree down together. As we were debaubling the tree, he came across the bauble and looked at me like "you forgot to give me something, geez".

So he opened it and the ring was inside. I took his hand and just said "I love you, will you marry me?" and he cried and hugged me and said yes! I was so happy! The poor dog didn't know what was going on and started doing his sympathy hugs haha.

So anyway, fast forward a day, we're in bliss, and he logged into his facebook on my phone to send a message to his work friend. I later got a message on facebook and opened it up. The name wasn't familiar. Turns out he'd left himself logged in and I hadn't noticed until this point.

So naturally, I read the message and scroll up to get some context. Turns out he's been sending a random straight guy photos, receiving photos, and heavily flirting with him since the beginning of christmas week. It's a guy he'd met on a night out with work he had at the start of xmas week.

I'm so mad and emotional. I don't know what to think. Am I over-reacting in being outraged by this? I mean... nothing's going to happen (probably) but the fact he's doing it is incredibly disrespectful and I'm not quite sure whether I consider it a form of cheating... if he can do it with a straight guy, what's to stop him doing it with someone who's definitely attracted to him, and then it turning into something physical?

I did the hardest thing there is so do emotionally for me, and then something came back and smacked me in the face.

I'm heartbroken.

LilElvis

Really sorry that you are going this - I'm sure most people would be in pieces too.

What has your partner said? Has he offered any explanation? Is this a one-off or has he behaved similarly in the past? Does it really make a difference whether the other person is straight or not (could be bi/not open about his sexual orientation)?

The two of you have a lot of talking to do.

Claire_A87

Oh my gosh - I don't think that's the update anyone was expecting I'd be exactly the same as you. It doesn't matter that nothing's 'happened' - there seems to be something odd 'happening' if the messages are as you described.

On the flip side though, when you say "heavily flirting" what are we talking here? Compliments? Lude talk? Could it just be two guys having a bit of a bromance and exchanging pics of outfits, hair? I know that sounds a bit far fetched, but I know two best mates who are incredibly close and are definitely very much only friends.

Obviously all the details aside there's only one option here - you have to talk to him about it. You have a valid reason for seeing the messages as he left himself logged in, and there's no way you can bury it and happily marry him. So what you really need to decide is how to approach him? If it were me I'd just be direct about it, but only you know how's best to confront him about it.

heartbreak_star

Wasn't expecting that I'm not sure what to say, I'm rubbish with words - good advice from other posters though.

Have a hug

HBS x

McCloud1

How sure are you that it's sexual? If he was doing this behind your back surely he wouldn't have logged into his FB on your phone? Particularly if its the primary method of contact with this chap.

It could just be locker-room behaviour (excuse the American expression) and its how some guys bond. I attended a boarding school some 10 years ago, and I can assure you the things that go on there are testament to the ability of straight men to appear very much the opposite.

supermassive

He said he has a crush on him, but he's straight so nothing would happen and he'd never cheat. He's making me feel like some super-paranoid idiot for even thinking it's an issue to do that. I honestly don't have any idea what I can do without breaking down.