Stay at home mums - what do you do all day?

Kaye1

mincepiemonster wrote: »

I am a sahm to my two girls - aged 9 months and the eldest was 3 last week.

We have something on each morning except Mondays - gardening club, toddler groups, singing classes. We come home for lunch and then the kids nap - I often have a nap myself as I'm up theough the night with my youngest still. In the afternoon we tend to meet friends or walk to the park. I do have nifty ways of spinning activities out to fill more time if needed, for example getting the bus rather than driving is an activity in itself, or having lunch in the tent becomes a longer activity. Walking places fills time too! (Not in a bad way, it's just that little people need to burn off energy and be worn out!)

I also do all the housework, manage finances, do online surveys, keep in touch with family, plan all our holidays...

I don't have time to be bored! All our lives are enriched by my role.

Mincepiemonster that's the best way of describing what I do- thank you! Yes, I do all those jobs and it does make everyone else's life easier. I shall announce that to my husband later.

bylromarha

When I was a SAHM, I used to just enjoy the freedom of doing what I wanted, when I wanted. Saw a sign for a baby massage course, off we went. Spent lots of time in the library and toddler groups. Hung out with lots of friends. Spent time at the park. Playdoughed and painted and built dens and read books and built towers and chased and got dirty in the garden and walked and got messy.

Fitted a bit of housework in during nap time and started an ebay business when youngest was 3.

I didn't find I got at all bored - I'm a KS1 teacher, so into all the learning through play stuff. I built in lots of seeing friends time, so didn't feel I missed being with adults.

I also made sure that the majority of friends I did hang out with were people who didn't need to talk kids and babies 100% of the time. Found that vital as the people who only want to talk kids can be draining on you as there you don't stop being you just because you are a SAHM.

cazziebo

I loved my SAHM days - and I could hardly find time to fit in appointments etc as I was so busy. I probably did do more housework than I do now but I was mostly out of the house. We went to the park, swimming, baby & toddler groups, the gym (creche), visiting friends and family. If we were at home then it would be baking or painting or reading.

We had quite a close knit circle in our village and would often look after each others' kids if there were any sick relatives, dentists etc to attend to.

It really is a time in my life I cherish. It was so special. And I was never bored.

meritaten

I wasn't really a SAHM, or can say I 'always' worked. I worked as and when I could (a child who was a 'frequent flyer' in hospital) and spent long periods out of work. I did a lot of part-time, temp jobs. which was great and I really enjoyed the 'novelty'.
during my sons worst period I didn't work for about 5 years. I enrolled with the Open University and took courses when I could afford them. it took me years to gain enough credits to graduate. and even worse it got me 'hooked' on learning!
I do wish I had done it sooner though.
if the finances are too stretched (though the OU does give out grants they are not easy to get if you are not on benefits), then colleges often offer free courses during the day (and most colleges have a crèche or nursery nowadays). then when you DO have the chance to go back to work - you have a nice addition to your CV.

xxlouisexx56

Up at 6:30am to get ready and get dd1 (8) and dd2 (3) ready for school and nursery. We leave at 8:15 to take dd1 to school and once she's in I take dd2 to preschool and I get home around 9:30am.

I have the morning to myself when I do the washing, put the clean stuff away, wash up, get stuff prepped for lunch/dinner, Hoover, do the food shopping.

Back to pick dd2 up at 12. Today we've been swimming lessons but mostly we come home for lunch and she chooses what to play with, or watches tv as she's tired after preschool.

We leave at 2:30 to pick dd1 up and get home around 3:40.

Dd1 has homework or play dates or swimming or gymnastics lessons so we are always busy!

I do dinner and bath times and hope that DP will be home before the girls go to bed.


I see my main goal as a SAHM, is to do the boring bits so after school and at weekends we can do all the fun stuff together.







And then there are days when I feel like doing nothing. Nothing at all.
So I don't do anything!

Carmina-Piranha_2

I went to at least one activity every day, toddler groups costing 50p that included a coffee, that sort of thing. I also paid for swimming and sign language, etc. and spent entire days in the park (sandpit, paddling pool, etc)

I live within a mile of most of the groups so we could walk, and we got a season pass to a farm that's only a bus ride away. I got to know other mums and arranged park and farm days with them, so we had others to chat to too. I rarely spent time at home. Then after school the older one had swimming lesson, gymnastics, etc. before going home to have evening meal, so that meant we had our weekends free to be with my husband with no chores to do.

I volunteered, and helped to plan and run a playgroup. We spent time going for bike rides, etc so he learned to ride a balance bike and could then ride a bike before he started school (not that that's important, but it helped us get to school faster and meant that we could go for longer bike rides at weekends together).

We baked, sliced veg etc. together, grew veg in the garden, played with the pets and spent hours just chatting to next door's cat. Lovely days

But I know some SAHMs who were in the house most of their time and they still enjoyed it

a_fresh_start

I always thought that I would go back to work if I did have kids, as I have worked very hard to get to where I am now, but reading the above posts, it seems that you all as SAHMs have very fulfilled, purposeful and busy days!

Its lovely to ready that there is so much to do play and education wise, I was worried it was just full of chores and cooking! x

duchy

It can be if you allow it to be - it's all about structuring the day rather than letting housework fill the day (which it will if you let it-it's sneaky like that)

MrsSippi

Thanks for all the replies, I've only just noticed how many there are!

It is really nice to hear everyone's experiences and know that it probably won't be as negative as I am imagining! That's not to say I don't want to spend time with my children obviously, I just worry about getting bored but I have got lots of ideas from you all about how to stay occupied.

Apologies if I haven't addressed all questions, the one I did see a couple of times was regarding the allowance for 3&4 year olds for childcare. My daughter does receive this which helps with nursery costs but the cost of a nursery for a baby and childminder etc for a 4 year old (once she is at school) would just leave us worse off than if I gave up work altogether. We have researched it as I would have liked to continue working in some capacity but the figures simply do not add up and we would be paying out more for childcare than we would have coming in (once you include all other bills etc - and we are already quite frugal)

Thank you again for all the lovely replies, it has made me feel a lot more positive

bromleymum

If you've made the decision to be a SAHM for whatever reason just enjoy it.

You will be busy but it's a lovely type of busy that allows you to juggle your stuff to suit you and your children.

I was a SAHM for 12 years and absolutely loved it. I'm working part time now and although my job is really interesting (at times!) I really miss being able to have a quiet day when it was wet and cold or a manic day when we felt like it.

I actually find the routine of working and fitting chores around it much more monotonous than being a SAHM. Put it this way - if money was no object I would not have returned to a job.

Enjoy while you can.