Am I jealous?

Pollycat

Missxc wrote: »

I don't usually think of myself as jealous, I don't stop the OH talking to other women and don't stop him spending time with friends instead of me, but a few things lately have made me think I'm jealous of other people's realtionships and friendships.

Like a few other posters, I'm not sure that 'jealous' is the correct word for some of the things you mention.

Missxc wrote: »

For example, one of my closest friends moved away, and we made plans for her to come and stay with me for a weekend. She cancelled, but is still coming down this way but to visit other friends. This has left me annoyed and wondering why I'm not good enough for her to visit.

I can sort-of understand this but let's get it into context.
The friends she's still coming to visit - has she been friends with them for longer? Or are they 'better' friends (IYSWIM) than you and she?
If they are and she's limited on time, I can see why she's cancelled your arrangement.
How did she cancel it?
In an off-hand way, or politely, or 'we'll do it soon' sort of way?
If you don't know why she's cancelled or really do feel you're not good enough to visit, why not ask her why she's cancelled on you?

Missxc wrote: »

The OH and I have been together 8years but only just moved in together. We are very happy in our little house bubble. But one of his close friends and his OH have also moved in together recently, and they haven't been together half as long as we have and they are an unstable couple. When they post on FB about their 'flat' I feel frustrated and don't even bother to 'like' or 'comment'.

What do you mean about 'an unstable couple'?
What does it matter how long they have been together?
They are together, just as you and your OH are together.
What frustrates you about their comments about their flat?
Maybe you should just defriend (or whatever the right terminology is) them so you can't see what they are saying about their lives.

Missxc wrote: »

I hate feeling frustrated and not wanting to take an interest in other people's lives, so maybe I am jealous??

I think you sound very mixed up and possibly dissatisfied with your own life and don't like to see anyone else being happier than you feel..

duchy

You and your OH have just moved into your first house together -why on earth are you stressing about another couple who are doing the same thing?

Do you feel they haven't being together long enough to "earn" the social status of a full couple or something ? You sound like they are not friends but just acquaintances (doesn't sound you like them very much ) so why not just block their posts if they annoy you ?

I don't think you are not wanting to take an interest in other people so much as taking too much interest in other people's lives and not enough in your own new adventure.

millysg1

I see what you are getting as I met my OH at 18, it took many years before we hit any major relationship milestones.
I remember at 24, one friend was engaged at 1 year, one was trying for a baby at 6 months and got engaged at 1 year and the other was pregnant at 6 months.
This all seemed crazy fast to me when I was only just moving in with my OH after 6 years. But 3 years later, 2 of them are divorced and the 3rd has broken up and got back together with her OH 4 times in the last year. Im married for 2 years and pregnant and couldn't be anymore happier.

Look inwards instead of outwards at your friends. Just concentrate on your relationship and what makes the two of you happy and don't compare your relationship to anyone else as you can never know what is really going on. As long as you are secure and happy with your relationship. Progress at the rate your happy with and don't compare to of the speed of others. I don't regret one bit going at our slower speed.

blueneleh

raven83 wrote: »

I often feel "envious" when I look on Fake Book, but what you got to remember is most of it is contrived and people often aren't as "perfect" as they make out. In fact, the ones that shout the loudest are usually the ones least happy.

Agree totally ^^^

I always find that the ones spouting off about how in love they are have the worst relationships and are forever splitting up and getting back together!

pickledonionspaceraider

Missxc wrote: »

I don't usually think of myself as jealous, I don't stop the OH talking to other women and don't stop him spending time with friends instead of me, but a few things lately have made me think I'm jealous of other people's realtionships and friendships.

For example, one of my closest friends moved away, and we made plans for her to come and stay with me for a weekend. She cancelled, but is still coming down this way but to visit other friends. This has left me annoyed and wondering why I'm not good enough for her to visit.

The OH and I have been together 8years but only just moved in together. We are very happy in our little house bubble. But one of his close friends and his OH have also moved in together recently, and they haven't been together half as long as we have and they are an unstable couple. When they post on FB about their 'flat' I feel frustrated and don't even bother to 'like' or 'comment'.

I hate feeling frustrated and not wanting to take an interest in other people's lives, so maybe I am jealous??

I don't think you sound Jealous. But I do think you sound bitter/mixed up in some way.

I can understand the first example a friend lets you down to go off with other friends, yes honestly that would pee me off

But your second example, is worrying. other people posting about their flat or things they are doing. Do you feel they have stolen your thunder in some way by moving in together?

Enjoy your life, stop concerning yourself with stuff that is quite frankly, none of your concern.