What would you do in this situation (nursery and maternity leave)

Pakkun

[FONT=ＭＳ Ｐゴシック] [/FONT]Hi everyone,
[FONT=ＭＳ Ｐゴシック] [/FONT]
[FONT=ＭＳ Ｐゴシック] [/FONT]I am facing a tough choice and am interested in others' opinion.
[FONT=ＭＳ Ｐゴシック] [/FONT]
[FONT=ＭＳ Ｐゴシック] [/FONT]I have a boy (1-year-old) and am expecing my No. 2 this Feb. My husband wishes to keep DS in the nursery during my maternity leave as it not only gives him good stimuli and social interaction and but also allows me to concentrate on looking after the new baby. He also wants me to stay on the maternity leave as long as possible (52 weeks) for the benefit of me and the new baby.
[FONT=ＭＳ Ｐゴシック] [/FONT]
[FONT=ＭＳ Ｐゴシック] [/FONT]While I feel very lucky to have such an understanding and generous husband, my heart is torned apart as the above choice has a huge impact on our household finance.
[FONT=ＭＳ Ｐゴシック] [/FONT]
[FONT=ＭＳ Ｐゴシック] [/FONT]The nursery costs a fortune and his salary and my STM will just cover the usual household expenditures (mortgage, food, insurance, tax, etc.), meaning we need to fork out the nursery cost from our savings. I am likely to receive SMP only.
[FONT=ＭＳ Ｐゴシック] [/FONT]
[FONT=ＭＳ Ｐゴシック] [/FONT]While we have sufficient savings to cover all the extra expenses even it I take my maternity leave for 52 weeks, we will see a huge drop in the saving (nursery cost is 900pounds per month).
[FONT=ＭＳ Ｐゴシック] [/FONT]
[FONT=ＭＳ Ｐゴシック] [/FONT]My job allows me to work from home and I have help from my family over the summer (they stay at our place as they live abroad). Therefore, I feel that me staying on leave but sending my DS1 to nursery is what we can afford but a luxuary.
[FONT=ＭＳ Ｐゴシック] [/FONT]
[FONT=ＭＳ Ｐゴシック] [/FONT]Being always a bit stingy and saver as well as the main earner and a bit workaholic, my original intention was 1) take DS1 out of the nursery once I start the maternity leave, 2) return to work in summer, 3) share the child care with me and my family. But now it turns out this is completely opposite of what my husband wishes for.
[FONT=ＭＳ Ｐゴシック] [/FONT]
[FONT=ＭＳ Ｐゴシック] [/FONT]He let me have the final say on this but I am struggling to decide!
[FONT=ＭＳ Ｐゴシック] [/FONT]
[FONT=ＭＳ Ｐゴシック] [/FONT]I need more serious thinking on this but it would be great if I could hear from others on what you would do if you were in my shoes.
[FONT=ＭＳ Ｐゴシック] [/FONT]
[FONT=ＭＳ Ｐゴシック] [/FONT]Pakkun
[FONT=ＭＳ Ｐゴシック] [/FONT]
[FONT=ＭＳ Ｐゴシック] [/FONT]

chiefpossession

Why don't you put your son to nursery part time? You would have the best of both world's then. DS1 would have the outside stimulation and social interaction and you would have quality time with baby.

mummyroysof3

What you do shouldn't be down to money IMO. I think the part time option seems a good one as it gives the best of both worlds

Pakkun

Thank you chiefposession and mummyroysof3 for your response. Yes, I have been thinking about reducing the nursery while I am on maternity leave. As he goes to the nursery for four days per week at the moment, reducing it to two or two and a half would help us financially, though we still need to fund this from our savings.


I think that I still have a pre-child mindset that I should keep saving every month which we could before having our DS1 and feel scared of the prospect that we will not save but rather use the existing savings, though I know that we have saved the money for this very purpose.


Thank you for sharing your view on this.


Pakkun

onlyroz

When I went on maternity leave with my daughter I kept my son in nursery part time. This was partly because I thought it was important for him socially, partly so I would have more time to focus on the baby and partly to keep the nursery place open for him (round here we have long waiting lists).

Also if you claim childcare vouchers your employer will have to pay them for you while you are on SMP.

Always_Alone

Do either you or hubby claim child care vouchers? I currently claim for full amount of £243 and my company see this as a 'benefit' in much the same way as holiday (so something I continue to get while on maternity leave) and so will continue to pay this amount whilst I am receiving smp. Maybe worth asking about?

How old will little one be will you go on maternity leave? Are you eligible for the funding for 2 year olds?

Also maybe worth considering movie from nursery to childminder? Still get stimulation and social interaction but can often be cheaper.

Congratulations on your new impending arrival!!

Pakkun

Thank you for your response, onlyroz and Always_Alone.
And thank you for congratulating me on my second baby!


No, I do not claim child care voucher but use salary sacrifice scheme which deduct the nursery fee from my salary before tax deduction. I do not understand the difference between them fully so may need to investigate which one give me more benefit.


Our DS1 will be one and a half years old when the second baby arrives. I thought that the funding (15-hour free space?) is available from 3 years old. Is it from two? If so, it would be a great news!


Pakkun

9ja4life

Would you consider having lo1 in nursery for say 2 afternoons/ morning a week and return to work after 9 months?

theoretica

Another thing for you both to think about is who is going to get the toddler ready and to and from nursery? Doing that with a baby in tow may not be less work than looking after them both at home.

Pakkun

Thank you for your reply, 9ja4life and theoretica.


Yes, I have considered sending DS1 only in the morning/afternoon to reduce the nursery fee. I need to ask the nursery whehter this is possible. Ideally, I would like to send him to the same nursery rather than the childminder as it is most liley that we will send both children there once I return to work (the nursery belongs to the workplace) and changing his environment frequently may upset him.


Re: logistic issue, this is what I am concerned about. Since we have no family members nearby, it would be probably me to take him to and back from the nursery. While it could be doable while my No.2 is yet to be born (though driving a car with a huge bump is not ideal), taking DS1 to the nuresry when I look after the new baby could be problematic. I considered transfering him to a nearby nursery but as mentioned above, I would rather keep him in the same place.


So many things to think about!


I really admire those who look after two or more children whose age gap is small!


Pakkun

TBagpuss

first off, Congratulations.

I would lean towards the idea of sending your son to nursery part time, for the reasons others have given.

However, I would also put off making a final decision until the new baby arrives - after all, until it happens, it's hard to predict how easy / difficult you find either getting DS to nursery, or managing with 2 at home, depending on how DS reacts to the new baby, whether the baby turns out to sleep or not etc.

Does you husband have any flexibility on his hours? Would he be able to take DS to nursery some days, at least while the baby is tiny?