Yet again!

Yet again, I find myself here in a financial pickly mess.

Yet again, I began to pay extra to my debts, and yet again I seem to have undone any good work that I did by using my CCs more.

Yet again, just ended up paying for things like car work, vet bills, horse stuff... all essential but I had no cash to pay for them.

Yet again, my minimum repayments have gone up.

Yet again, I find myself holding on by my fingertips & it really wouldn't take much to tip me over the edge of a financial cliff-face.

Yet again, I have no-one to blame but myself.

Why do I do this to myself? Clearly there is something in me that makes me behave like this?! Perhaps I'm compensating for something. Maybe I spend money because I'm stressed, or unhappy, or bored?

I need to convince myself that I don't have to behave like this. In fact I HAVE TO STOP behaving like this, and restore some sort of grown up, mature attitude to money. Rather than the childish, wants/needs that I seem to struggle to deal with,

The big question is HOW? I clearly need to change the habit of many years of seeing debt as OK and ACCEPTABLE... even ESSENTIAL.

I try to imagine myself as debt-free, but this just leads me to behaving as if I already am! Every spend on the CC is justified by 'this is the last time', and inevitably, it never is!

How do I break this ridiculous cycle? What goal is going to motivate me enough to stop me from behaving like such a fool?

I'm a (reasonably) intelligent, professional person with a good job & salary. I do my job very well & I'm highly thought of at work for being organised, meticulous and professional. Why am I so unable to control my spending then? It makes no sense!

Are my issues because I feel deep down that I 'deserve' things? That I work incredibly hard, so I 'should' be able to buy what I like, when I like? Maybe that's it. Maybe that's hit the nail on the head.

The way that my financial stress manifests itself is to bury my head in the sand.

Think I'm addicted to spending money... there I've said it. I love the buzz of new things, whether it's a new magazine, or a new book, or a new piece of equipment for my horse.

So, maybe I should investigate how to break an addiction. One day at a time, I guess.

Here goes today then...
Xmas 2016 #67 £0/£365
LBM £29,598 :shocked: (29.05.15) DFD June 2021
29.12.15 - B/card 1 £6813 B/card 2 £3575 Virgin CC £13658 Loan £5842 Next £0 OD £200
20.06.15 - B/card 1 £4139 B/card 2 £4025 Virgin CC £13100 Loan £7303 Next £58 OD £200


  • DawnWDawnW Forumite
    7.2K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Hi, I didn't want to read and run. I love your username, I guess we could all do with one of those every now and again :rotfl:

    You may want to look at the statement of affairs tool on here (someone will post a link in a minute), and fill it out, even if you don't want to share it, it is useful for your own information. You might find you can snowball (ie pay minimums on all cards except for the one with the highest interest rate and throw everything you can at that) or perhaps you can find a balance transfer?

    Lots of people swear by budgeting tools such as YNAB, so you might want to look at threads linked to this.

    There is lots of great information on here, and lots of support to be had :)

    Good luck x
  • banwabanwa Forumite
    952 Posts
    I reckon there are a lot of people reading this thinking 'did I write that?'

    I am back again after my third LBM (with a similar amount of debt). I found it simpler to forget all previous LBMs and challenges and just start afresh.

    You may have slipped but you are back facing it right now and that's what counts
    Debt £26k 18/10/14
  • Thanks Banwa & DawnW!

    I think I need to take one day at a time - I do have a sort of budget, well I know what my essential outgoings are but there's nothing left to put aside for future car/home/vet emergencies etc.

    Need to put some thought to how to improve income & spend less...

    Option 1 - eBay! I've been a bit rubbish at posting sold items in the past, so I need to improve on this to boost my seller rating.

    Option 2 - Consultancy work. I've just begun doing this, and it pays well but I'm not sure how regular it will be. I already have a demanding full time job as a teacher (believe it or not), so I need to plan how this could work.

    Option 3 - Freelance teaching. I'm a fully qualified riding instructor, so could do more of this, however I need to pay approx. £200 to renew my insurance & professional membership, which I could do without right now. I don't think I can currently devote enough time to this anyway.

    Option 4 - ... can't currently think of one at the mo, but I'll put some thought to it

    Update on today - I've cancelled the following magazine subscriptions which are paid by DD as they are non-essential (Countryfile, Your Horse, Horse Health), but I still need to do one more (Equestrian Life).

    I'm out clipping for a friend tomorrow, so I should earn some more pennies for the pot. Must make sure that I save them & don't spend them (like I normally do)

    Xmas 2016 #67 £0/£365
    LBM £29,598 :shocked: (29.05.15) DFD June 2021
    29.12.15 - B/card 1 £6813 B/card 2 £3575 Virgin CC £13658 Loan £5842 Next £0 OD £200
    20.06.15 - B/card 1 £4139 B/card 2 £4025 Virgin CC £13100 Loan £7303 Next £58 OD £200
  • So today I've had an interesting kinda day.

    I earned £30 for clipping woohoo!

    On the down side, I spent £48 on a replacement girth since my current one is incredibly suspect & a bit of an health & safety issue...

    Also bought 2 cupcakes for hubby to cheer him up as he was in a grump.

    Sooo not thoroughly successful on the money-saving front... Tomorrow's another day!! (Or is that where I'm going wrong?)

    Xmas 2016 #67 £0/£365
    LBM £29,598 :shocked: (29.05.15) DFD June 2021
    29.12.15 - B/card 1 £6813 B/card 2 £3575 Virgin CC £13658 Loan £5842 Next £0 OD £200
    20.06.15 - B/card 1 £4139 B/card 2 £4025 Virgin CC £13100 Loan £7303 Next £58 OD £200
This discussion has been closed.
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