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What would you do ?

bess1234_2
bess1234_2 Posts: 419 Forumite
So what would you do ?i have removed my post as you have helped me to make a wise decision .
«1

Comments

  • aggypanthus
    aggypanthus Posts: 1,579 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Temptation? Only you can answer that but it could be a whole heap of trouble
  • System
    System Posts: 178,374 Community Admin
    10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    I'd ask whether its worth throwing away the past 7 years for a fantasy.

    Because that's what it is right now.

    Its understandable if things have been difficult and you haven't been happy. But, can things be worked out? Excluding this other party, do you feel things could get better?
    This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
  • Spendless
    Spendless Posts: 24,804 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    I'd be thankful that DH had got help that worked, be grateful that it has reduced to only bad days in the first year. Hopeful that this would reduce further with the passing of time and I'd be seeking some therapy for myself to deal with the anger about the previous 7 years.
  • Delree
    Delree Posts: 540 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    Any children involved? If not, get out, sod it.
  • FBaby
    FBaby Posts: 18,374 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Who knows? Many have done it, it has been the best decision for some, the worse for others. Either way, you take a risk, only you can calculate it, only you can decide if it worth taking it.

    My only advice is to make sure you don't only listen to your heart but your head too because what makes your heart flutters will gradually become less important, what your head tells you on the other hand will gradually take more precedence.
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 35,923 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Savvy Shopper!
    bess1234 wrote: »
    So after 7 years unhappy relationship, DH has finally got help and we ve had a year of only bad days. Happy families all round.

    But I'm angry about the last 7 years

    And then I meet someone who reminds me of being single, of having fun, of chemistry.

    So what would you do ?

    Oh, definitely - go off and have an affair.

    That is what you are hoping posters will write, isn't it?

    If you don't want to be with your OH, do the decent thing and end the relationship.
    Then - and only then - think about 'having fun' with someone else.

    I have no idea how bad your relationship is (but you do seem to have had a couple of enjoyable holidays) but be fair to your current partner. Don't start a relationship with someone else until you've ended the one you're currently in.
  • duchy
    duchy Posts: 19,511 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker Xmas Saver!
    Either you've reached your limit after seven years and your relationship hasn't survived your problems or your relationship is worth the effort you've put in over the past seven years and this is a temporary feeling and will pass......or you would have left years ago but felt you couldn't desert your partner whilst they had such bad problems and now things are improving you want to make the exit you should have done years ago.

    Only you know which it is.....however it would probably be wiser to be single for a bit before looking for a new relationship for the sake of all concerned. If this new person is worth it- they'll wait.... and if they won't probably aren't who you hope they are.

    Of course if you just want an affair and keep your marriage the advice would be different !
    I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole

    MSE Florida wedding .....no problem
  • 74jax
    74jax Posts: 7,930 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    edited 25 October 2014 at 9:10AM
    Do you mean you've had a year of only good days? Or even with help had a year of bad days.

    The person you've met who reminds you of being single, I'm guessing isn't someone you want to be with as a couple but as someone who you can go out with as two single people looking? Our do you mean as a couple so being single is irelevant? Sorry I don't understand.

    If you're unhappy and don't want to try anymore then leave, regardless of if you have found someone to go out with looking for someone else.

    Once you've got use to the split, been in your own company etc then go for it, find someone you're attracted to again . But don't leave just because someone has come along. If this other person wasn't on the scene are you saying you would stay regardless with your OH that's not fair on you or him .

    Take everyone else out of the equation, do you want to stay in the relationship out not.
    Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....
  • Errata
    Errata Posts: 38,230 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    bess1234 wrote: »
    So after 7 years unhappy relationship, DH has finally got help and we ve had a year of only bad days. Happy families all round.

    But I'm angry about the last 7 years

    And then I meet someone who reminds me of being single, of having fun, of chemistry.

    So what would you do ?

    Check to see if the grass is really green and not painted or artificial.
    .................:)....I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on ...:)
  • bess1234 wrote: »
    So after 7 years unhappy relationship, DH has finally got help and we ve had a year of only bad days. Happy families all round.

    But I'm angry about the last 7 years

    And then I meet someone who reminds me of being single, of having fun, of chemistry.

    So what would you do ?

    Its hardly happy families if you're thinking about having an affair.

    Are you angry because he could have got help sooner but didn't?

    Of course being with someone who reminds us of when we were younger is going to be more attractive.....simply because generally that's when we didn't have a care or responsibility in the world and life was one big party
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