Don't get people sometimes

marisco_2

Guest101 wrote: »

Just wondering where ud draw the line on this behaviour?

You have no need for any concern. Your girlfriend has been completely upfront and honest with you about this guy contacting her, and over the fact that he is continuing to do so despite her telling him to leave her alone. Sit back, do nothing and show her that you trust her implicitly and have total confidence in her handling this situation.

browneyedbazzi

You are unhappy that she says she hasn't done something that you think she may have done.

Do you want her to 'admit' to something that she hasn't done?

If the roles were reversed, how would you feel if your OH tried to get you to 'admit' you'd done something you hadn't?

From my experience, it feels pretty awful. It feels like there's no trust in the relationship, like the other person is controlling and paranoid and that it's time to walk away....which is exactly what I did.

Either let it go, or let the relationship go - your choice.

Guest101

browneyedbazzi wrote: »

You are unhappy that she says she hasn't done something that you think she may have done.

Do you want her to 'admit' to something that she hasn't done?

If the roles were reversed, how would you feel if your OH tried to get you to 'admit' you'd done something you hadn't?

From my experience, it feels pretty awful. It feels like there's no trust in the relationship, like the other person is controlling and paranoid and that it's time to walk away....which is exactly what I did.

Either let it go, or let the relationship go - your choice.

Thanks, moved on from that slightly but yes thank u

DaveTheMus

He knows you guys are in trouble so he's waiting in the wings until he has an opportunity...

You need to get this guy told...

Your wife will say that she's told him to stop contacting her, but, it'll be more like; 'stop contacting me when he's in...'

She's keep him stringing along as her 'plan B'... and he'll happily wait...

fivetide

Guest101 wrote: »

Sometimes I type on the go, others I sit and type. So you tend to get abit if variety. Again I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Thanks though, helpful advice.

Just concerning that he might start turning up at silly o'clock. And think it's very cheeky of him to disrespect her wishes. But I'll leave it alone unless it escalates, thanks

The thing is, you'll type out the rest, long words all perfectly fine, then make yourself sound a bit daft simply by not bothering to put yo in front of the u. It is two letters




Anyways, it wasn't him coming round I was worried about it is your description of the phrases "you up?" it sort of implies he is sending them at times when you would expect to be in bed. 10pm, perhaps not so bad. 2am and it is turning into harassment.

tea_lover

Is she replying to him?

Guest101

fivetide wrote: »

The thing is, you'll type out the rest, long words all perfectly fine, then make yourself sound a bit daft simply by not bothering to put yo in front of the u. It is two letters




Anyways, it wasn't him coming round I was worried about it is your description of the phrases "you up?" it sort of implies he is sending them at times when you would expect to be in bed. 10pm, perhaps not so bad. 2am and it is turning into harassment.

Point taken, and 2am, upto 5am, so ye...

Guest101

tea_lover wrote: »

Is she replying to him?

No, or when she has, it has been to tell him to stop contacting her. She volutarily showed me the text.

Guest101

DaveTheMus wrote: »

He knows you guys are in trouble so he's waiting in the wings until he has an opportunity...

You need to get this guy told...

Your wife will say that she's told him to stop contacting her, but, it'll be more like; 'stop contacting me when he's in...'

She's keep him stringing along as her 'plan B'... and he'll happily wait...

Well I'm in everyday but no that's not what she's said. I don't think she is stringing him along. We've only recently( ish ) got back together, seems fruitless from her end if that's not what she wanted.

Certainly she wouldn't need to tell me anything about this. I don't snoop or whatever. And whilst foundations take time and so forth, this isn't an 'unexplained absences, protective over phone, etc etc' situation. She's happily shown me the messages.

I'm more concerned that his behaviour is just weird and stalkerish.

fivetide

2am and 5am is wrong. He's disturbing everyone's sleep.


Seriously it might be worth suggesting she just blocks him on that basis. That shouldn't come across as being possessive as it is a sensible move you can just throw into the conversation next time he does it.


After that it is a chat with plod if she wants to go there. Just don't get involved.