Don't get people sometimes

Guest101

Hi all,

Just want to say thanks for all the advice. I did listen and didn't push it any further

However getting abit annoyed, and the cause of another little row, is this chap has texted her a number of times in the early hours

Such as ' u still up?' Or 'u awake'?

Now gf hasn't hidden this from me and I'm not suggesting she's sneaking around for one minute. But he's been told to leave her alone, by her, not me ( yet )

And to make it worse for him, he supposedly has a gf now.

Just wondering where ud draw the line on this behaviour? I'm not one to go say 'stay away from my gf!' As that isn't how I want this relationship to go.

And would u tell his new gf that he seems to spend the evenings thinking about someone else?

purpleshoes_2

Youve posted here under another username lately? I thought the posts were familiar, to be honest Ive found some of the advice you give to people who seem to be in awful relationships quite unsettling, your advice to everyone seems to be, no matter how bad things get a family should stay together.

If you are the same poster, you got lots of advice over the months, very little of which you took on board.

Guest101

purpleshoes wrote: »

Youve posted here under another username lately? I thought the posts were familiar, to be honest Ive found some of the advice you give to people who seem to be in awful relationships quite unsettling, your advice to everyone seems to be, no matter how bad things get a family should stay together.

If you are the same poster, you got lots of advice over the months, very little of which you took on board.

1: no I haven't posted as another user, I doubt my situation is unique

2: I do think where possible families should stay together, but ur entitled to disagree

3: u could've PMed me that. Ur post is irrelevant to my question

fivetide

And as grammar police I feel it only right to say it weirds me out you can type sentences, use correct phraseology but then put "ud" for you'd.


Really, that's a new one. Please no txt spk It cheapens what you are trying to say.


Aside form that, what he does is no concern of yours while you trust your girlfriend. Leave it and him alone. His own partner will have to find out on her own.


You might want to suggest you tour partner though that she just blocks his number in case it happens at silly o'clock in the morning.

victory

Guest101 wrote: »

1: no I haven't posted as another user, I doubt my situation is unique

2: I do think where possible families should stay together, but ur entitled to disagree

3: u could've PMed me that. Ur post is irrelevant to my question

1. I think you have though, have you not?

2. It cannot possibly be that families with domestic abuse, verbal abuse, incompatibility, rows, controlling could ever be better off staying together for the family.

3. It will never be that every single person ever posts entirely the reply to the original question. It is called a discussion, not a dictatorship:)

Guest101

fivetide wrote: »

And as grammar police I feel it only right to say it weirds me out you can type sentences, use correct phraseology but then put "ud" for you'd.


Really, that's a new one. Please no txt spk It cheapens what you are trying to say.


Aside form that, what he does is no concern of yours while you trust your girlfriend. Leave it and him alone. His own partner will have to find out on her own.


You might want to suggest you tour partner though that she just blocks his number in case it happens at silly o'clock in the morning.

Sometimes I type on the go, others I sit and type. So you tend to get abit if variety. Again I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Thanks though, helpful advice.

Just concerning that he might start turning up at silly o'clock. And think it's very cheeky of him to disrespect her wishes. But I'll leave it alone unless it escalates, thanks

fairy_lights

I wouldn't be particularly pleased if another woman was texting my partner late at night asking if he was still awake, especially someone he had history with, so I can see why you're feeling a bit put out.
But the fact that your girlfriend isn't keeping this from you and has told him to back off makes it very clear you don't have anything to worry about. If he is seeing someone new but is still sniffing round your girlfriend then he's making a bit of a fool of himself and you really don't need to feel threatened by him.

Guest101

victory wrote: »

1. I think you have though, have you not?

2. It cannot possibly be that families with domestic abuse, verbal abuse, incompatibility, rows, controlling could ever be better off staying together for the family.

3. It will never be that every single person ever posts entirely the reply to the original question. It is called a discussion, not a dictatorship:)

Not me sorry, I've seen quite a few posts with not dissimilar stories, but anyway.

I agree with that statement. And don't advocate that people should ever put up with abuse. Sometimes though, a build up of things can occur, couples get into rutts, mid life crisis, whatever. Which is when counselling and self assessment can help. I don't think I've ever advocated any such behaviour, and if I've given that impression I'm sorry. My parents divorced because my dad was abusiveso I would never suggest that it is in any way healthy for anyone, adults or children, involved.

I accept that discussions develop, but the first reply, concerning a situation of differing view points, leads the conversation away from getting a wide range if answers, in irder to reach a consensus. What purple shoes had to say could easily be a pm:
I'm sorry I disagree with some of the advice u give and cannot therefore answer your question.

Instead it's a complete divergence so that the question I have, which to me felt reasonably important, so much so, as to take the time to post it, doesn't get answered

victory

Guest101 wrote: »

Not me sorry, I've seen quite a few posts with not dissimilar stories, but anyway.

I agree with that statement. And don't advocate that people should ever put up with abuse. Sometimes though, a build up of things can occur, couples get into rutts, mid life crisis, whatever. Which is when counselling and self assessment can help. I don't think I've ever advocated any such behaviour, and if I've given that impression I'm sorry. My parents divorced because my dad was abusiveso I would never suggest that it is in any way healthy for anyone, adults or children, involved.

I accept that discussions develop, but the first reply, concerning a situation of differing view points, leads the conversation away from getting a wide range if answers, in irder to reach a consensus. What purple shoes had to say could easily be a pm:
I'm sorry I disagree with some of the advice u give and cannot therefore answer your question.

Instead it's a complete divergence so that the question I have, which to me felt reasonably important, so much so, as to take the time to post it, doesn't get answered

ok....................................:)

Guest101

fairy_lights wrote: »

I wouldn't be particularly pleased if another woman was texting my partner late at night asking if he was still awake, especially someone he had history with, so I can see why you're feeling a bit put out.
But the fact that your girlfriend isn't keeping this from you and has told him to back off makes it very clear you don't have anything to worry about. If he is seeing someone new but is still sniffing round your girlfriend then he's making a bit of a fool of himself and you really don't need to feel threatened by him.

Thanks.

Not especially threatened, but glad I'm not alone