I'm too hot! OH too cold!

lostinrates

caprikid1 wrote: »

"Swan around in your pants. ( or as I suggested, very light loungewear, after all, your son might prefer you are dressed, but a light floaty thing that makes you feel happy and comfortable and romantic could be the answer. "

Put something Sexy on and prance around the house in it.

That will encourage him to turn the heating down !! NOT !!!

peachyprice wrote: »

No, but at least OP won't be too hot!

It sounds to me like even when compromised is reached OP is going to me warmer than her OH. .....so they need strategies for living happily with it.

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tea_lover

People seem to be assuming that the OP's husband is sitting there in his shorts with the thermostat set at 25. He might be v well wrapped up but still cold. I'm always freezing... but the heating only goes on when the 3 or 4 layers, 2 pairs of socks, massive slippers, blanket etc. just aren't working anymore.

Hope you get something sorted out OP. It is difficult when you're such different temperatures.

Better_Days

It is a difficult issue to find middle ground on as both of you will be uncomfortable.

I feel the cold dreadfully and so can sympathise with your OH, elisebutt65. It's currently 23.5 in the room I'm in, and I'm under a duvet and fully dressed but my feet are still cold.

However, I also do overheat due to ME and then have to strip off. It got a lot worse last month (settled down now thank goodness) and I was regularly standing on the back step in my vest trying to cool down. So I can understand both being hot and cold is unpleasant. Also you don't want either of you to get poor sleep.

Instead of trying to find a middle ground where neither of you are happy could you have 'hot days' and 'cold days' in the house where you alternately control the temperature? Then the other one will either have to wrap up or significantly disrobe depending on which day it is:o

Even though I feel the cold (most of the time) I do like fresh air in the bedroom. A leccy blanket is a must though and a fleecy blanket round my shoulders and neck to fill in any gaps from the duvet.

I must admit I was sorely tempted to buy an electric fleece blanket last winter - did manage to resist, but will probably not have the will power this year http://www.amazon.co.uk/Homefront-Luxury-Washable-Electric-Chocolate/dp/B001IRYFJG/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1413983491&sr=8-3&keywords=electric+fleece+blanket

tea_lover

That blanket looks amazing... guess what'll be topping my christmas list this year

DUKE

elisebutt65 I'm still getting the flushes after taking tamoxifen for 5 years, & I've been off them for 6 months. However, in between I do get quite cold (much colder than I ever did before BC) so my husband roams around in shorts, whilst I'm all wrapped up in my blanket .... When I get a flush I strip off the layers.

Had any rages on these?

Morglin

elisebutt65 wrote: »

So I'm on tamoxifen for BC. If you search my posts you can read all about it. I finished treatment about 16 months ago.

Anyway OH & I bought a house in May & finally moved in together after 13 years (2 years married next week) and this is our first winter living together. We have GC & a woodburner. Problem is my tamoxiflushes I really suffer it goes above 18° Holiday in Rhodes really was a bundle of fun

Now its getting cooler I'm loving the weather, but OH keeps putting the heat on to take the chill off in the morning. Result is that I'm hot & sweaty straight after my shower & putting make up is no fun at all!!!

DS (14) hates the heat as well & has his window open most of the day when he's hom . I wait until OH is asleep and then open the bedroom window. Lol.

What can I do? I never had the thermostat over 15 in my old house whereas OH had his flat set up like a greenhouse . I keep turning the thermostat down from 25 here :rotfl:

I have exactly the same problem, so we have compromised on 19 - still too hot for me really, but DH really feels the cold.

We don't ever put the rad on in the bedroom though - I just couldn't handle that..:eek:

And, I always have the windows open a bit to get some air in.

Lin

elisebutt65

DUKE wrote: »

elisebutt65 I'm still getting the flushes after taking tamoxifen for 5 years, & I've been off them for 6 months. However, in between I do get quite cold (much colder than I ever did before BC) so my husband roams around in shorts, whilst I'm all wrapped up in my blanket .... When I get a flush I strip off the layers.

Had any rages on these?

Rages????

I do get the odd cold flush but I have an IKEA fleecey thing on the sofa. Usually followed by me throwing it off in disgust as my temperature suddenly rockets!

OH works from home so he has a small greater for the office room, while I suffer at work in stuffy classrooms . That is until I have enough & open all the windows, ignoring the cries of misery from my students. I usually wait until the last 15 minutes of class to do that though, to wake them up. Then its another hour of sweaty misery on the bus home. I've got a lovely flamenco fan for that.

I think DS might have something to say about me flouncing around in something frilly raflmao!I I usually change into PJ bottoms & a vest when I get in now, before I sweat over a hot stove.

I think we're just going to try & wing it this winter. Doesn't look like it's going to be too bad this year anyway. OH can dig out his North face fleeces & I'll just strip down. I'm I tryng to lose weight as I have an extras 3 stone to shed so that'll be a help as well.Being on tamoxifen is not helping with the weight loss so I'm cutting out the carbs under advice from my gp.

Can't believe I have another 3.5 years of this misery & oncologist is making noises about extending it to 10 years!!! :eek:

elisebutt65

So I'm on the poxy tamoxy for another 8 years instead of 3 Gahhhh!

On a new drug for the flushes; Gabapentin, but it doesn't help that much. We managed a compromise for winter. Fire when it gets to 7 degrees and the heating to bring it up to 18/19 if necessary.

I think I now understand about the Rages. Lol and the heat induced panics at 3am. Sigh. I have gel pads that I pop on my pillow that help but they're so clammy!

God I feel like a whiner. Logically I know these drugs are going to extend my lifespan, but I just want to say: to hell with it! I want my temperature control back! (And my sex life, but that's a whole other story) I'm also having to go part time at work due to the constant exhaustion from reduced sleep. I'm up for 30 minutes for every 2 hours I sleep. My bus journey 1 hour) to and from work is a sweaty mess as well.

I'm doing all the suggested things; losing weight, wearing natural fibres, keeping hydrated etc. still having unbelievably hot sweaty flushes and then cramps in my feet & legs cos I've sweated out all my electrons.

Ah well. Could be worse I guess: I'd be dead by now if the bc hadn't been caught, but the treatment sucks!

LameWolf

elisebutt65 wrote: »

I do get the odd cold flush but I have an IKEA fleecey thing on the sofa. Usually followed by me throwing it off in disgust as my temperature suddenly rockets!

I feel your pain.
I have lupus, which has effectively broken my internal thermostat; I can be shivering one moment, put on my fleecy wrap, and the next minute be dripping with sweat. Throw off the wrap. Shiver. And so the cycle goes on....

Do you find a particular time of day worse? Just wondered, as I'm always far too hot in the evenings; DH is a lamb about it, he sits bundled up in jumpers while I have the patio door open (no heating on at this point, that would be silly; we're talking summer evenings here).
And at night, I throw the duvet off me and just lie, completely exposed, on the bedsheet (good job there's only the 2 of us here!):eek:

Can I suggest a cotton kaftan for when you need to be "decent" around the house? I've found mine invaluable - natural fibre, plus floaty style, so it doesn't so readily stick to you if you're hot.

The other advantage I found when DH was in hospital was I could put it on and off myself - normally he assists me with dressing/undressing, but that's a whole other story.;)

Good luck, I hope you can come to a happy compromise for all concerned.:o

summerspring

elisebutt65 wrote: »

So I'm on the poxy tamoxy for another 8 years instead of 3 Gahhhh!

On a new drug for the flushes; Gabapentin, but it doesn't help that much. We managed a compromise for winter. Fire when it gets to 7 degrees and the heating to bring it up to 18/19 if necessary.

I think I now understand about the Rages. Lol and the heat induced panics at 3am. Sigh. I have gel pads that I pop on my pillow that help but they're so clammy!

God I feel like a whiner. Logically I know these drugs are going to extend my lifespan, but I just want to say: to hell with it! I want my temperature control back! (And my sex life, but that's a whole other story) I'm also having to go part time at work due to the constant exhaustion from reduced sleep. I'm up for 30 minutes for every 2 hours I sleep. My bus journey 1 hour) to and from work is a sweaty mess as well.

I'm doing all the suggested things; losing weight, wearing natural fibres, keeping hydrated etc. still having unbelievably hot sweaty flushes and then cramps in my feet & legs cos I've sweated out all my electrons.

Ah well. Could be worse I guess: I'd be dead by now if the bc hadn't been caught, but the treatment sucks!

Sounds awful. And what happens if you don't take this awful tamoxifen, does it increase the chance of the cancer returning?

Sounds like you're having to choose between quantity of life and quality of life.