my mum refuses to make a will

Murtle

My dad has made a will, but to him it wasn't the money aspect of it that was the issue. It was the keep-sakes that he has earmarked for us, that were more important to him to have written down so everyone knew that so-and-so had that ornament etc...

Maybe you could ask your Mum to go with you to make your will, and then whilst you are there, get a kindly soul to enquire about hers.

Good luck!

Queenie

margaretclare wrote:

Hi Queenie
No, I don't think it's a bit harsh. I've been in that situation you see (of not knowing what a person's wishes were) and the family rows that reverberated from people who thought they knew what the person wanted but in the end were really following their own wishes, had to be seen to be believed.

I'm really sorry to read that your personal experiences caused you such upset. I also respect why you think and feel as you do regarding wills.

I agree that it is preferable for a person makes their wishes known about funeral arrangements. But, we don't know if that's an issue with the OP or not, nor were we invited to offer our personal opinions on that.

The OP expressed concern about access to the ISA re: affording the funeral and also concerns about the Aunts stepping out of the woodwork - the "pecking order"

Strong sentiments such as stating that people are "selfish ... deliberately causing unnecessary heartache and hassle" can cause offense and come across as insensitive (which I'm sure wasn't your intention!).

Clearly, it's not something to debate in this thread, because it's not the place.

There's an old, old, old saying: "Weddings and funerals bring out the worst in people" (Nor does it make any difference if there is a will or not!)

System

There's an old, old, old saying: "Weddings and funerals bring out the worst in people" (Nor does it make any difference if there is a will or not!)

Too true!!!!

Interest-Ed

Hi - I posted a thread somewhere else but didn't know this one was also running. I had some generous comments before. My concern is the rights of my brother who is living with my elderly parents. They haven't made a will and don't intend to do so.

There are other siblings but none that live in the same part of the UK. He has lived with them for 20 years.

Would he have any good case for keeping the house if they haven't signed it over to him. Would he be responsible for all death duties and other costs plus organising the funerals.

I am worried for him that he might find himself in difficulties and there's the obvious problem that relatives may become greedy if they feel someone is getting more of their fair share than the rest. (It shouldn't happen but it so often does!).

margaretclare

Hi Ed

Assuming one parent died before the other, one assumes that the surviving parent will go on living there with the son. He then has the problem of what to do. If he was there on the spot presumably he would have to cope with funeral arrangements etc. Normally costs of funeral come out of the deceased person's estate, it's only if there is no estate i.e. no money, then *somebody* has got to pay for some kind of a funeral, even the simplest.

Does your brother know if there is money, quite apart from the house?

This is where it is so difficult if people refuse to make a will or make any arrangements at all. How is your brother to know, and I can well understand his concern - he might not have a roof over his head!

Can your brother talk to his parents, find out what they think will happen, who will pay for what, what arrangements they want made etc?

This might help: http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/family_parent/family/wills.htm#willsstop

Aunty Margaret