Grandmother losing EVERYTHING!

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Gadfium wrote: »

When I read stuff like this I really despair of my fellow mankind.

You are despairing at the changing attitudes of hardworking people rather than those who's MO is to scrounge from the get go.

redmalc

Gadfium why despair,I think i have paid enough into the system after being a 40% taxpayer for thirty odd years and Corporation Tax etc etc

I have just had enough of the Scroungers in this mad Society,i live in a nice cul de sac of three houses,the first house is owned by a doctor who is working abroad for two years so his house was rented.
Firstly, a nice hard working family occupied the house but the guy lost his job and given they had savings above the threshold they had to vacate because they could not afford the rent.
We now have a very young family in the house who dont work and most probably never worked with four kids,the state pay the rent in full,its a pity the other family had saved their money and had to leave,that,s what,s wrong so dont despair join the scroungers and make babies all day

duchy

Mojisola wrote: »

Caring for children and caring for elderly family members are not the same thing - I wonder whether you've had experience of doing either.

Many people whose parents go into residential care have been caring for them prior to that - in many cases as well as looking after their children at the same time and going to work!

That was me for a few years..... Mum had brain anurism, son diagnosed with autism within a couple on months -and I was a working single Mum. One other sibling who'd rock up - criticize and bog off for another month (he lived less than an hour's drive away and worked 25 minutes drive away from Mum's home)

Mum eventually "recovered" after many months -to the point she could be left for a few hours - but she went from an active independent woman to one who couldn't live alone. She hated it - but she'd have hated it much more in a home (she spent a few weeks in rehab that was attached to a home and saw first hand what it was like and she knew it wasn't for her). She was very frustrated that neither her brain or her body worked as well as before -and it made her both angry and unhappy.

My son certainly suffered as I was torn between both their needs and spread too thinly. I'm sure (especially as we were living in Mum's house)some people would say I should have put her in a home and "preserved" my inheritance. It probably would have done as we were already living there before she got sick after I left my husband -and it might have preserved my sanity too ........but it was never an option . Mum's needs came first not some possible future jackpot !

miserable_ol_so_n_so

jabba42 wrote: »

My advice would be to keep her in her home and get a live in Filipina for 15k a year. They are lovely caring people. Also add a webcam on 24/7 so you can monitor for something bad happening.


Done deal, saves 20k a year, mother gets to stay in her familiar home.

I have been well impressed with nurses and hospital workers of all nationalities, including English, Irish, Scottish, Welsh, Rumanian etc etc. How do you find a live in care person? Any info greatly appreciated. Any agencies I could contact?

duchy

I knew a few people who got live in care/housekeeping positions through classified ads in The Lady magazine.

talexuser

We are not what I would call rich, but have worked, saved and are thus well off. I know some people in council houses, and believe me I would not swap my lifestyle for their "free ride" in any circumstances. Likewise I investigated multiple care homes in finding one for my mother and shudder at those at the council funded end of the market where everyone just sits glumly in a chair all day. My mum's home has shopping trips, garden centre trips, all supervised, baking days, gardening days, the last couple weeks they had a portable museum visit to the home, a petting donkey visit, a regular sing-a-long with vocalist and keyboard etc etc. I'm happy to pay. All this talk that the "benefits" ride is comparable or even equal! to working and getting a comfortable lifestyle is ludicrous.

moneyfoolish

Marker wrote: »

You are despairing at the changing attitudes of hardworking people rather than those who's MO is to scrounge from the get go.

I despair at the attitudes of those scroungers but equally at the attitudes of the rich scroungers who get fortunes from directorships and do almost nothing for it! There are huge faults in the system we live under but they are mostly at either end of the scale.

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talexuser wrote: »

We are not what I would call rich, but have worked, saved and are thus well off. I know some people in council houses, and believe me I would not swap my lifestyle for their "free ride" in any circumstances. Likewise I investigated multiple care homes in finding one for my mother and shudder at those at the council funded end of the market where everyone just sits glumly in a chair all day. My mum's home has shopping trips, garden centre trips, all supervised, baking days, gardening days, the last couple weeks they had a portable museum visit to the home, a petting donkey visit, a regular sing-a-long with vocalist and keyboard etc etc. I'm happy to pay. All this talk that the "benefits" ride is comparable or even equal! to working and getting a comfortable lifestyle is ludicrous.

My grandfather is in a home that does all of the above, along with the 'free riders'. It clearly depends on where you live and what is available in that area.

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moneyfoolish wrote: »

I despair at the attitudes of those scroungers but equally at the attitudes of the rich scroungers who get fortunes from directorships and do almost nothing for it! There are huge faults in the system we live under but they are mostly at either end of the scale.

I completely agree. And there in lies the problem - the middle of the road people, like maybe you and me, are smack in the middle subsidising both ends of the spectrum.

Steve_xx

Gadfium wrote: »

Darn tooting!
What about having parents pay much more in tax as they are a greater drain on the NHS and the welfare state overall? Surely somebody like me (single, no kids, has used the NHS 4 times in 45 years) should be getting a massive tax deduction?
Perhaps we should also raise taxes for women, as they are much more likely to require expensive medical care through their lives. maybe a sliding scale where the taxes increase as they have more children?

See how messy it can get???

It's not that messy. What you describe is essentially healthcare matters and we all pay for that in our NI contributions.


What I'm describing is the act of giving couples earning up to 50k each, money for their kids. These people are not in need of state handouts and in my view they ought to be curtailed at a lot less of a level than at 100k per pair. I feel that given the current financial climate that curtailment will be on its way. It's quite bizarre that state cash is handed out on this as it is today.