Aargghh! BF asked me to stop taking pill!

pollyanna24

How can I figure out if we can afford to have kids?! I know there is the entitled.com website, but it really confuses me and I can never figure out how to work it. It goes on about how kids I have etc. and how much I have worked this year, but to use it I have to predict all this. Plus when it says benefits, one side says monthly and the other annually and they are the same amount and I still can't figure it out.

Ps Is it unusual to have a lodger to help pay the bills when you have a kid?

LilMissEmmylou

ive lived in a house with a family with 3 kids (and also a set of grandparents) along with a few other lodgers (large house) so i wouldnt say its that unusual

hobo28

Once you have a family, i doubt you will want a lodger. You probably won't have room!

Plus, which lodger would want to move into a house with a baby which will cry all the time (they all do!)

pollyanna24

That's what I meant, would a lodger move in with all that noise? We have two lodgers at the mo, but they are family and honestly don't pay me enough to be worth it. Plus I cook their dinner. So I wanted an outsider who would pay me decent money and would look after themselves cos I would have enough on my plate with a kid. Would defo need the £400 or so that we could get for a room. We have a 3bed house, so figured we have the room even if we have one kid.

Ooh er, just all a bit daunting. Plus with it being so hard to work out what we would be entitled to in benefits....

keelykat

I take it you want a baby then?! lol.

keely.

Destiny33

KeelyKat is so right, kids do cost a lot and are a huge commitment. Please make sure you want a child. Even when you do they are hard work but definately a joy.

Just take your time and decide, i cant preach as i'm a single parent and i love ds totally and completely, maybe a bit older though.

Please sorry i dont want to interfere, i work and get tax credit and child credit. Part time job and i get possibly nearly full time money.

Good luck in whatever you decide
D
xx

Keeping_Positive

Main thing about affording children is you cant unless you are very lucky.

As long as you feel fairly comfortable financially and you can think/know of childcare if needed (and of course that you want a little one lol) then just go with it. Benefits are fairly good these days even if working.

Also try not to fall into the trap of they need everything new. Carseats yes but most things can be picked up second hand. 90% of my kids clothes are hand me downs and they are fine with it.

Be prepared for losing alot of freedom but it is worth it when they smile at you / say they love you unannounced etc etc.

Goodluck whatever your decision.

LilMissEmmylou

im another believer in kids can be as pricey or as cheap as you want them to be. I know i dont spend much on my DD at the moment as all her clothes are hand me downs from a friends babies (all in fantastic conditions) or gifts from when she was born. I did however buy a new pram and cotbed (pricey ones at that) but u can get 2nd hand quite easy pretty cheap use cloth nappies, make ur own baby food, breast feed and walla very very little cost in the first few yrs

belfastgirl23

Do you want kids now or not? that's the real question here. I think you've been sent into a flat spin by the question and you're focusing your energies in the wrong place not being smart alec here, it's human nature, like if you've got an important interview and you end up obsessing about whether the train will get you there in time not whether you want the job or how the interview will go. As for the lodger thing, parents are people first so some do and some don't i would guess.

Good luck in whatever decision you make!

lilla_2

Well, its past my bedtime but who cares! As a single mum of 2 (3yrs and 3months), money is never an issue with kids- i use cloth nappies and live for car boots and charity shops (what is the point is spending £15 ona nice dress when 15minutes in the sand pit ruins it?!?!)
And from my experience, there is never a "right" time (financially or emotionally) to have kids

sarymclary

There's no two ways about it, kids cost money, and in my experience (I have 4), the older they get the more they cost me. When they're little the most they want is a lolly and maybe a plastic toy. When they're teenagers they want more gadgets than John Lewis stock, and won't wear clothes you consider reasonably priced because they're not 'cool'.

That said, it's the emotional costs that are the worst, and they don't stop even once they've moved out according to my big sister.

I think you'd need to find a special kind of lodger who won't mind missing out on long weekend lie-ins (it's been 15 years now and I've not had one), will wait for the bathroom, won't mind smelly nappies, sicky babies, breastfeeding, toys in every room, a bath full of boats and cars, readybrek on the floor, potty training accidents, stairgates, and most of all a house full of noise, or having to stay quiet 'while baby sleeps'.

That said, it's all worth it in the end, and you get used to not going out, being skint, and not buying anything for yourself - honest!