What would you do?

madvixen

My best friends little girl (9) is currently being bullied at school. The child has raised it but has been told by the teachers that they won't get involved until she has exhausted all avenues of stopping it by herself. In one class in particular she has actually been moved DOWN a group because she couldn't concentrate as she was sat on the same table as the bullies.

I don't have children myself but I'm of the opinion that this is wrong and that the school should be stepping in and stopping the bullying. The school does have an anti bullying policy but it is not available on their website, you have to ask the head for it.

To the parents out there, what would you do? I don't want to tell my friend to go to the school if that's not the way it should be handled.

double_mummy

ask for a meeting with the head

i would be in there all guns blazing if my child was penalized for being bullied!!!

Primrose

Comtact the school,governors and complain. Sounds as they're not taking this seriously enough.

Cyberman60

It's the schools duty to step in, and not to do so when they have been made aware of it is negligent. Telling the girl to handle it herself is ridiculous. :mad:

whitewing

I think it is good that school encourages pupils to try and handle things assertively. I would go and see the head to ensure that I understand how to encourage this to happen and what the next steps are.

Then I would do some role play practice with DD too.

I don't agree with her being moved down, however, if she can deal with the bullies and move back up, imagine what a fabulous confidence boost it would be.

NB I can see this may work in my DD's school but not sure about all schools.

jackomdj

Teacher
Head
Governors
Ofsted

Tell her to work down that list. Sounds like she has done the teacher so next she needs to see the head.
Advise her to write down all she wants to say and refer to it so she doesn't miss any of it out.

I would not be happy about my child bring moved down due to other children bullying.

She needs to find out from her child exactly what has happened, then find out how the school sees it. It could be that they are noticing different things to the child, sometimes things aren't always one sided.

meritaten

whitewing wrote: »

I think it is good that school encourages pupils to try and handle things assertively. I would go and see the head to ensure that I understand how to encourage this to happen and what the next steps are.

Then I would do some role play practice with DD too.

I don't agree with her being moved down, however, if she can deal with the bullies and move back up, imagine what a fabulous confidence boost it would be.

NB I can see this may work in my DD's school but not sure about all schools.

she is a 'child' - the school have a 'duty of care' to her - and that includes making sure she isn't bullied.
oh, and if she CANT handle it herself - think how her self esteem will drop, perhaps to a point where she takes her own life?
you simply have NO idea what its like to be bullied or a parent of a bullied child! and anti-bullying charities and group ALL say its down to the school adopting 'good practice' to deal with bullies that can help stop bullying.
and from personal experience - I agree with that!

PlymouthMaid

I do not agree with the 'handle it herself' advice from school either unless it is not actual bullying but just some friendship squabbles. If you are sure it is bullying then I too would think going into the school and asking for more involvement from above would be the way to go. It needs addressing as the poor girl could end up not wanting to even go to school - or worse as mentioned above.

Indie_Kid

How is the child expected to hangle this herself? We're not talking about an adult here...

fairy_lights

It seems very unusual for a school to tell a child to deal with bullying themselves, so unusual that it's making me wonder if that is actually what the school has said. Is it possible your friend has got the wrong end of the sick, or was told this by a new member of staff who doesn't know what the policy is?
She should definitely try and speak to someone else at the school because that doesn't sound right at all.

Spendless

My suggestion is what I have learned to do in order to get the best outcome regarding school matters. Put it in writing, take your opinion out of it and any emotion and stick to fact. Every time I have done this, the school(s) concerned have come back to me pretty quickly and resolved the issue.