Fear of the unknown.

davecon1

Hello everyone

It's been a rough few months for me as I was made redundant back in May after 20 years with the same company and then my partner decided to bail out of our travel plans on the eve of our year out. The split itself was not acrimonious and probably saved me a lot of heartache in the future but it did cause a headache at the time as we had an itinerary and job offer.

I've tried my best to get on with my plans which involve travelling and working a ski season but I've almost become paralysed by fear of the unknown and worrying about everything. That's meant that I've already turned down some jobs and know that I'm making weak excuses for not just heading away, my favourite being the weather.

I know in my head that many people would give their right arm to be in my position- single, no dependents, an income from renting out my house and redundancy cash but am struggling to 'jump in' and instead spend hours looking up treks, tours whilst time ticks by. At this rate the ski season will have come and gone and I still will be deciding where to go!

Has anyone been in this position before where procrastination becomes a way of life instead of living life? If so how did you overcome your fears and let go?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Apologies if this is not the right forum to post in but I didn't know where else to post.

Errata

This site may give you an insight into your thinking and how to improve it http://www.llttf.com/

justme111

Did not want to read and run
So will guess :
Could it be that as you have money you find yourself lacking motivation since it is need of income that makes a decision for most of us when we think whether to get up in the mornigs g and whether to take this that or other job ?
At

meritaten

But, you thought you had a 'travel partner'. now you are on your own you are 'second guessing' yourself. Stick a pin in the map if necessary - but make ONE decision. arrange it and then go with whatever opportunity presents itself. Its scary yes - but you CAN do it!

danandjens_worldtravels

Fear of the unknown - you will always be afraid of it, its unknown.

What you may learn to do is manage the fear. From a personal perspective, how you are feeling about your life now. Are you happy? Are you fulfilled? Would biting the bullet and getting on that plane maybe make you feel better?

Fear of the 'travelling' aspect, you will learn after a few places that most fears are unfounded. There is always a place to stay (even if its the train station) there is always somewhere to eat (even if its a Delhi street vendor) and bottom line (for me/us) 'I've got an escape fund (credit card), if this gets so bad I will get a taxi/bus to the airport and go home or go to the next destination'.

I have left a couple of countries earlier than planned because they just didn't live up to what I expected, no big deal just move on.

Working abroad, just like above, what is the worst that could happen? Can you return to your current or acceptable alternative life if you found you really couldn't handle it or its not what you expected it to be?

I am lucky, there is a partner involved in my decisions and when either of us is fearful the other one can laugh along (we are usually both scared by the same stuff). Yes procrastination exists as well and again with another person maybe its easier to pull yourself together and rethink the situation.

In reality - if you feel you are getting no-where now, if you don't feel happy or fulfilled now, then you need to make decisions and live with the consequences - its not like they will be terrible really. You in the fortunate position to have to decide between good alternatives. Your decision will not affect anyone else adversely, so be selfish and choose what you think you may want to do. If it turns out that isn't the case, choose something else!

elsien

davecon1 wrote: »

Has anyone been in this position before where procrastination becomes a way of life instead of living life? If so how did you overcome your fears and let go?
.

Yes, feeling a bit like that at the moment. Made redundant in the summer after over 20 years, not footloose and fancy free due to a mortgage and a dog, but struggling with job hunting because there's always a reason that the jobs I see aren't particularly suitable.

I guess I'm trying to say that even if you give up on the idea of travelling, then you might find yourself in a similar mindset but with even less to look forward to.

Take a deep breath and jump. Because aside from anything else, what are you going to be doing otherwise? Sitting at home in the lovely British winter weather, job hunting and wondering why the heck you didn't just go for it.

BuddyGirl

Great book- Feel the Fear and do it anyway by Susan Jeffers.

My daughter is just about to do her third ski season. It's mainly young single people, many of whom seem to be at a bit of a crossroads. All sounds great fun - if quite hard work.

If it doesn't work out you can always come back.

FBaby

I think when you have made careful plans thinking they were sound, and then it all collapse in one heap, it naturally affects your confidence in terms of planning your future.

It's all normal and you need to give yourself a break psychologically. Unfotunately, the way to move on is going to be to take a deep dive and try it again. As this is successful, your confidence will grow again and you'll be fine. If this one doesn't work either, then pick yourself up once again, learn why it might have failed, and try again until you make plans that leads to you moving forward positively. Good luck.

shoopi

Also, don't try to imagine the entire thing all at once. Tackle each step one at a time. Wishing you the best of luck!

davecon1

Thanks for all your comments. I've heard of the Susan Jeffers book so will check that out.

I know I have to do something and very soon and as everyone points out I can always move on if I dont like it. This is a great opportunity to travel and do something different so I really need jump in.

smifffy1989

I find the best way to fight procrastination is to make a to do list and tackle the worst item first, Just get up and do it!

Once that is complete the rest of the list will feel much more achievable.