Decision - rent together first or take the plunge and buy

penguingirl

We rented for 12 months and then bought. However, we were younger when we moved in together (both 22) and had only been together for just over a year (although known each other since 16). It was useful for us partly because we moved to a new town due to our jobs, and we didn't end up buying in the same area. Also it was good to work out what we wanted- we rented a flat and although we liked it, we really missed having a garden and our own parking etc plus the noise of flats annoyed us. We also realised we do need our space within a house from each other sometimes, so we made sure we bought somewhere with a good spare room.

It was also really useful financially- we had a joint account and were able to plan how we spent our money together. We're actually very similar spending-wise and with our attitude to money, so we were able to feel confident buying a house together based on our 'trial'. It's also good to realise how much you do spend as a couple before you start commiting yourself to things (like a mortgage). We've been in our house for 5 years now (with no intention to get married) and thinking about whether to move to the next one!

Kynthia

Buying a property with someone you aren't married to should be done with plenty of discussion on what the issues are with deposits, bills, share of equity and an exit plan should you split up. The exit plan should also include scenarios such as negative equity, the inability of either of you affording to buy the other out, the consequences of both being stuck on the mortgage and not able to buy somewhere else, etc, and all of this should be written up as a Deed of Trust with a solicitor.


It is madness to take on a 25 year debt against an asset that can devalue with someone you aren't yet ready to marry and have a fair chance of not being with as long as the mortgage. There are laws on the division of assets should a marriage breakdown but none for unmarried couples, so you need to put your own protections in place.

dirty_magic

We rented first and I'm glad we did, though we have rented for longer than I wanted to. We had been together for 7 years, but both of us felt that renting was the best option initially. We know we can live together and because we've rented an unfurnished place we have all of our furniture for the house we're now buying.

I don't know how accurate it is but our mortgage advisor said they prefer people to have rented before buying because it indicates that they have managed a budget previously and know what to expect.

cats2012

We rented first, but mainly to check we were happy with the city. I have plenty of friends who bought straight away and have ended up completely fine - but does depend on how your relationship already is

Surfbabe

MY DD and her BF are renting as although they have been together for over 4 years they are not sure which area of the city they are in they want to live in.

I would say rent until you are sure the area is the right one and you know you can live comfortably with each other !!

valk_scot

If OH and I had rented a house for a year or so before buying rather than buying together I can say with hand on heart I wouldn't have married him, I'd have got my own place and moved on.


Now you can look upon the fact we did have the house tying us together as a good thing, we managed to work round our differences and make a long term commitment with marriage and kids and all the rest. Or you can look upon it as a bad thing, we still have a lot of differences that cause a lot of friction and there's many days that I ask myself if I made the right choice. Still, after 21 years reasonably happily married and counting, I don't see us breaking up now.


If you were my DD though I'd be urging you to rent for a while and be 100% SURE you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this man rather than feel that you'd been slightly backed into a corner by a joint mortgage.

Person_one

thorsoak wrote: »

I'm one of the generation referred to by DigforVictory - whilst we'd been engaged for 2 years, we'd never lived together (bearing in mind, this was early 60s, before they really started "swinging) - but we commited to each other in marriage and bought a house - in an area completely new to both of us - by the time I was 20 (and 3 weeks) and OH was 23.

That was the norm for those days - it only ended with his death after almost 48 years.

It was the same for my Grandmother, sadly for her it was an unhappy and at times abusive marriage that only ended with his death. For one of my great grandmothers her abusive marriage only ended with her own death so the poor woman never had any relief from it. I'm really glad it worked for you, but it didn't for everybody who did it that way.

Being cautious and taking slow steps towards a lifelong commitment seems eminently sensible to me. After all, I bought a house with someone I'd never lived with before when I was 24, fully believing it would last forever, but less than a year later we were at the solicitors divvying it up!

Rent first, every time, even just 6 months is long enough for the novelty to wear off so you can have an insight into what the reality would be for 30, 40, 50 years.

Rachylou1981

I am with the majority here and say rent first.


For lots of reasons already mentioned but mainly:

• You see how your relationship grows/changes/develops without the major commitment of a mortgage. Moving in together is a big commitment in itself.
• You can move to any area you want and move on if the area isn't suitable - something you can't easily do when you buy
• You get to see how you manage money together and what kind of mortgage payment you can afford taking into consideration that bills are often higher when you buy i.e. maintenance
• You get to see what you want from a house when you do eventually buy i.e. garden, close to work

I own my house and my boyfriend rented so it made sense for him to give that up and move in with me. It has been 10 months now and this time has made us think and plan better for moving on which is our plan eventually - oh and I love, love, love living together and our relationship has only become stronger.

The only other advice I can give is make sure you both are happy with what you decide and always talk it through.

Good luck

x90tsb

Thanks everyone for your replies, I really appreciate it, we are going to rent first!

duchy

Good decision.

The way I look at it is a marriage can take two years to dissolve , a mortgage is a 25 year commitment -yet people take on joint mortgages far more readily than marriage nowadays. A six month tenancy will give you a far better idea of if you both want the same things and are capable of compromise when needed or not and what your "must haves" in a more permanent home are . It's surprising when you go from living at home to your first "own" home how little some things you thought were essentials actually are and how other things you never considered deal breakers actually are. Renting first can save a lot of money when it comes to buying later on as you have a much better idea of what you both want and need from a property.