Decision - rent together first or take the plunge and buy

Manchee

lazywife wrote: »

I'd say rent for 6 months. The money will be well spent to make sure.

If nothing else, it will help you decide what you want (and don't want) in a house you buy. Every place Ive lived in in the past few years has taught me something, my current one - check out the roads between you and work (we live round the corner from a 'local' sainsburys, people park everywhere, double yellows be damned, and its a nighmare trying to get down the road, it enrages me everyday!) and make sure the kitchen and the lounge are on the same floor, the last one - we don't want to live right in the center of town, the one before - the importance of double glazing and loft insulation (yeah that was a 'fun' lesson lol). Etc etc

GobbledyGook

I'd rent first. I wouldn't make such a huge financial commitment like buying a house (I wouldn't marry either) without living with someone first.

You can sit down and discuss all the chores and finances until you are blue in the face, but until you are actually living together how do you know that words and actions are the same?

It's not just the big things that you need to know (imo), but all the little things are what can build up and cause problems.

For example there's a big difference between keeping a bedroom tidy at your parents place and pitching in to keep an entire house tidy. What happens if one is super tidy and the other incredibly messy? What about if one believes in shopping frugally with pretty much all supermarket own brands whereas the other is a brand fiend? That sounds like nothing, but has a knock on effect to things like savings.

I firmly don't believe you know everything about a person until you live with them and I think committing to a house purchase is too big until you know you can live with him.

Prothet_of_Doom

Back in the day when people made commitments, got married and moved in together, they did what they could afford.


Those that had no savings, had to live with parents or friends or in Digs, before they could raise a deposit for the rental of a flat, and those that had savings could go straight into buying a place together.


It seems that Today the order is all wrong, all cautious pessimism.


I accept that their may be reasons why you don't want to get married, but why not buy a property together, and consult a solicitor, to construct an agreement that details what will happen if you split up (or die)....


Or get married ?

Prothet_of_Doom

Waffle_On wrote: »

Having watched several friends have to deal with a very messy and costly breakup soon after buying together, I'd say live together before you buy together.

If they agreed up front a legally bidding methodology, there is no need for mess.

GalaxyStar

I'm 24, my OH is 26, we've never lived together and have just bought a house together. We have been together longer though! I can't say how it's worked out yet as we haven't actually moved in yet as it needed renovating but I'd rather take the leap than rent, everyone we spoke to said buy not rent. We saved the extra money we would have spent on renting and added it to our deposit/renovating fund too as we both live at respective parents at the moment

tea_lover

We bought a place together despite not having lived together previously (not properly - spent a lot of time at his place but I always had my own home to escape to). The first few months of living with anyone are a learning curve and you have to make a lot of compromises, but then it settles down.

If we'd been renting for the first few months we'd probably have called it a day and not bothered buying anywhere.

Personally I think renting first would be a mistake, and doesn't send out the best message, but each to their own.

roobee13

CP26 wrote: »

Rent first and see how you get on as a house purchase is a difficult thing to get out of once it's done.

I moved in with my now ex-husband before we got married. I wanted to rent first but was persuaded to buy. We paid top dollar for a house in a not great area, got married and then it all went pear shaped. Because we bought a place I think we both felt compelled to keep trying to make our relationship work when in fact if we'd have been in an easier position to split we probably wouldn't have got married at all (ah hindsight and naivety)

We've been divorced for 9 months now and separated for 2.5 years and I'm still on the mortgage. Fingers crossed it'll be sorted by the end of the year but all the time in between I'm still at financial risk if he were to default.

There's no guarantees either way but if I could do it again I would definitely rent first to make sure we worked well as a couple with all of life's little hiccups.

^^^^^ This!!

I did the same (apart from the marriage bit) and was only fully 'free' 2.5 years after separation.

I don't want to be negative about peoples relationships but ultimately you have to be realistic and consider that break ups happen.

I agree with the majority of posters, I would rent for 6 months and then consider buying together if it goes well. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, haha!

Good luck OP

Izadora

I presume you both live in the same area and will be buying near there? If not, I would say rent first as you don't want to be stuck somewhere and discover that one of you doesn't like it.

sharnad

I wish I bought straight away when prices were cheaper. If you find somewhere you both love buy it. You could rent while looking

Mirno

Rent first - if you've not lived on your own you don't know what you need and what you can live without. It gives you a chance to buy some of the things you'll need (if you get semi-furnished), and you'll get a handle on your expenditure so can budget better for whatever house you do buy.