A fresh start & learning to be organised

Towser

DH & I have realised that we can’t carry on how we are. A best friend of mine (from about 20 years ago) is coming to visit and our house desperately needs organising, decluttering, cleaning, and tidying and the garden done- but mostly organising.
We need to change our ways & I really would appreciate some advice! We are probably throwing ourselves in at the deep end before this date as yet undecided.
So I suppose we need ideas on how to organise everything including the food with what we have in, mentioned in another thread I buy too much food. So I will be doing the grocery challenge, my home is a mess, flylady, decluttering, hoarding how to make sure we don’t fall out from the stress!
DH works long hours, I have decided to do it by myself as I am a SAHM with a disabled child with another addicted to gaming so not much help from them. The problems are I am a stingy hoarder so end up looking at it without doing a thing.
I’m also starting to feel down, due to be overwhelmed and need to get a handle on the running of the house- there are bags of stuff to sell up in the loft. I feel exhausted and want to get a grip of it all, as am scared of depression taking me over again. I can easily get in a gardener or cleaner and have done when all too much but organising, decluttering and tidying needs to be done by myself I think. There are companies for £40 per hour- I don’t think so. Who knows if they will do it correctly?

YORKSHIRELASS

Hi, I can sympathise. I had 2 years off work as a carer for my son who has serious health problems. I used to feel guilty about not having an immaculate house and a perfectly organised life. I wasnt at work so in theory I had all the time in the world to get things sorted. Of course in real life it doesnt work like that.

Dont beat yourself up about it. My best piece of advice is to approach this in very small steps. It probably took a long time for things to get disorganised so you are not going to sort it out overnight.

Maybe make a list of the things you really want to do, or the rooms in the house that really need sorting. Then break it down into smaller tasks. That way you can focus on one thing and feel like you are achieving something. Oh and when you start something finish it, properly, before moving onto the next task. No point in say emptying a cupboard and leaving piles of things lying about to be dealt with because it will never get done. I speak from experience here!

Dont be afraid to get paid help in, or ask for help from others, if you need it. No shame in that at all, you dont have to be wonderwoman.

We are a friendly bunch on here and there will be loads of good advice coming your way I am sure. Good luck with it.

lucy_lemon

One suggestion - maybe give the stuff you're meaning to sell to charity instead? I have a massive pile of things to sell on ebay and every time I see it, I get seriously stressed out! At the moment, I really need the money though, so I'm just gritting my teeth and getting on with it. But if you didn't really need the money, it might help having that gone at least.

SavingPennies_2

Unless you really need the money just give the bags of clothes to the charity shop. I find it's just not worth the effort as clothes don't make that money. don't be tempted to sell them to those companies that buy by the kilo as they will give you a pittance. Give them to a charity shop and it will help a charity and get them off your hands in one easy step. I feel so much lighter and relaxed after a good tidy and clear out, I'm sure once you get stuck in you will get into the swing and start feeling better and more productive. If your child isn't willing to help you might find it easier to make a pile of his /her things then get them to spend ten mins just going through their pile. Have three piles for you and them: keep, charity, bin, and be ruthless if you have to. Oh and don't bother cleaning until you've finished clearing out as doing this always causes a bit of extra mess and dust so leave that till last.

Big_Graeme

The first step is realising you have a problem.
The second is posting here.

Little steps will seem like you are making no progress until one day you look around and find you have broken the back of it. Flylady/man works, just not in one go so don't expect it to.

All that eBay stuff, send it to a charity shop or freecycle it unless it is worth more than a fiver. I've found stuff that have has moved with us three times, all marked to eBay and it never got there.

Meals, list EVERYTHING in your fridge, freezer/s, cupboards and work out what you can make from it. Then read the meal planning threads, there is loads of help there so you are not on your own.

That gamer child, that game console has an off switch :-) if they helped cause the mess then they can help fix it, a bride of a second hand game may help here, turn it into a challenge or a game.

Just remember you are not alone here, I got help when I needed it and so will you.

dingdongsaving

I'm sure so many people feel this way. Don't let it get you down and embrace that you want to get organised.

When we moved house 3 years ago me and my hubby both wanted to do a massive de-clutter and I must say it felt so good to have less that we've really stayed on top of things since we've been at this house. We had too many clothes, too many kids toys, too many random gifts that we'd held onto that weren't needed or "us"...it was so overwhelming and our house was bursting at the seams and disorganised.

As we packed up each room we "visualised" everything we had in our new home (and lovely, new and organised life! Haha!) and then only kept it if it was really needed, fitted and was in working order. EVERYTHING else went to a boot fair and then straight on to a charity shop if it didn't sell.

Really getting to grips with our belongings was so liberating. We now have a quick blitz through the house every week or 2 to check that everything's put away, and I pop to the local charity shop as and when needed to pass things on as they are outgrown or not wanted. We really think carefully about what we buy...helping us save money too.

I'd def. say do it 1 step or room at a time to keep things productive and from becoming too much of a mess...and maybe if you organise a key room 1st (say the garage, shed, spare room or kitchen - wherever has the most storage space) then hopefully as you go through subsequent rooms finding "rogue" items they'll already have a "home" there.

Focus on the end result and know it'll take time. GOOD LUCK! xxx

lindsaygalaxy

Well done for coming on here and starting 'a plan' as such. Start by one room at a time and only one area of that room. For example the kitchen and the food cupboards. You will feel so much better after it and it will spur you on to do more. At the same time you say you can get a gardener in, do it straight away so it is another area to tick off the list.
I always try to be super organised, but the children do not so I try, they mess it up and I try again in a few weeks:) I have 2 areas that I like to keep clear and tidy - the food can cupboard and the airing cupboard. My other half thinks it's hilarious as he says it's the bits no one looks in! lol.

Towser

Hi, Thank-you for your wise words.

I have made a plan of action from your advice:

gritting my teeth and getting on with it.
very small steps
a list of the things you really want to do
room at a time, loft first
groups of things to sell on ebay
keep, ebay, bin,
and then straight on to a charity shop if it didn't sell.
Focus on the end result

It sounds good in theory but have procrastinated a bit more wasted time today.

jackomdj

What is your loft like? Our old loft was STUFFED, but nobody will see it.

Why not start with the rooms people will see. Start with a/the bathroom, this is small, you will see results quickly, it is then easy to keep ontop of.

Make sure you keep ontop of the rooms you have done, don't let them slip as you sort the others.

Good luck.

the_cake

I had the dining room from hell, needed to clear it so the family could come round and celebrate my sister's 70th birthday. One thing which motivated me was to take photos - before you start (horrible), as you progress (bits of clear space appearing ...) and afterwards (hooray - I did it!!). Once you have achieved a bit of clear, clean space, reward yourself , and admire your tremendous achievement by gloating over the photos. Then do the same again in the next room. You will get there - the feeling of relief when you just have less stuff to cope with is terrific, and keeping on top of things is so much easier. Very best of luck - keep us posted on your progress! x

marmiterulesok

I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned this,but choose one small area that you want to deal with,then set your alarm clock for any length of time ie 15 minutes,30 minutes,and work steadily at tidying/decluttering/cleaning that area until the alarm goes off.Then get up and have a small break before carrying on or leaving it all for a longer break.Or just decide to do say three seperate blocks of time during the day.Just as long as you don't get totally bogged down.

Focus on small goals ie sorting out one drawer of a cupboard at a time.

HTH.