IDK what to do...just having a bit of a moan

BunnieJ

Hi everyone :wave:

I haven't been on the forums for a long while (about 3 months), but I feel the need to vent right now so I'm back...

I just feel like I'm losing control of everything atm. I'm constantly in a bad mood, eating lots of cr*p food (gaining weight as well ), spending too much money and just generally feeling like rubbish.

I moved house last weekend and have no furniture/boxes everywhere/sleeping on an airbed until my new one arrives and therefore not sleeping well. I think that's partly making things seem worse. I'm sure that will change once the flat is all sorted. Yesterday evening, after a training day at work (which bought up some unhappy memories from school) I finally snapped and just curled up in the corner and cried for a bit. I sort of felt better afterwards, but it didn't really help solve any of my problems. This morning I actually looked in the mirror and said "I hate myself".

Work isn't helping much either and I'm having a bit of a dilemma (hence posting on here). I've found out some things that have really cheesed me off. Tonight I have an 'informal chat' meeting about a possible new job opportunity, but I just feel so s**t right now and have no confidence. My skin has broken out and I feel like I look a mess. I'm nervous that I'll come across in a negative way.

I've tried applying for jobs out of my usual "comfort zone" to get my out of this rut, but I keep being rejected and it knocks my confidence. I was planning on doing OU this October but my funding was not confirmed so I had to cancel my application. Now I have no idea what to do! :-s

If anyone has any words of encouragement or advice they would be most appriciated! Having a bit of a meltdown this week!

I'm just writing everything down to try and get all the thoughts out of my head, feel free to ignore my babbling on!

TIA

dimestorediamond

Hi Bunnie, I know that feeling sometimes!

I'm a big advocate of "fake it until you make it" when it comes to little situations like this. (Obviously not for serious mental health issues, but just those little slumps we all get)

Think of the good stuff that could come out of this opportunity whether its a pay rise, or a better job role or whatever. If clothes don't fit, maybe treat yourself to something new for the chat? If money doesn't allow, go for something that always makes you feel good, even if it's just a necklace or perfume.

Take a shower, do you hair and face (if that's what you feel good in)

Whoever is going to be talking to you is obviously interested in you, you have what they are looking for - time to show it! You can do it!

As for OU, I don't know who was supposed to be funding you, but you can apply for a Feb 2015 or Apr 2015 start for a lot of the first modules! Get your paperwork in now so your finance can be processed early! OU is the best thing I ever signed up for!

BunnieJ

Thanks for the advice CRT86

I made sure I was well dressed/heels/make up etc before my "informal chat" interview. I'm not sure how it went tbh. The guy seemed nice enough, but I'm a bit wary about the company he's running. Has anyone else heard of JDI Websites? Tried too do a quick search online to prepare for my interview, but couldn't find much, which made me suspicious :-s He told me his last assistant "couldn't handle the pressure" which didn't sound promising either.

I applied for OU a bit late so my finance application didn't come through in time not sure if it was the right choice for me right now anyway...think I was just trying to patch up a problem instead of fixing it! I'm 26 and friends are getting on with their lives and making big decisions (2 are back at uni, 1 is at college retraining and others just got engaged/bought their first homes). I just feel lost and in a hopeless place atm Issues at work have also brought back lots of negative feelings of anger and resentment too. Just feel s**tty!

Daisy-May*

Hi Bunnie.

Have you thought about going to your GP in relation to what you are feeling. I was in the same situation as you for a long time (years) always irritable, snappy at people, couldn't find happiness in anything, generally negative.

Roll on to 3 months ago and things got so bad I couldn't stop crying, I couldn't sleep, eat or switch off at all.

The only reason I am telling you this is because if I had know I would hit rock bottom and it would take me 3 months to get back to being more like me again I would have gone to the doctors way before so I didnt get so low.

I am now on tablets (which I originally didn't want to take) but now with a combination of those and some CBT treatment I have managed to come out the other side. Im not 100% but feel much better and have managed to change my negative thought patterns etc. which for me is a big thing. I am now looking to the future and will not let my depression beat me.

I only asked for help when things got so bad I couldn't function, please do not be afraid to ask for help if you need it, otherwise you could go from job to job being unhappy if there is an underlying cause.

Take care and look after yourself x

BunnieJ

Thanks Daisy-May*

I have been to the GP in the past and I received counselling through college. I have taken medication in the past for my anxiety issues, but it was never as a long term thing. I'm not the biggest fan of using pills as I feel it just masks the problem rather than helping to solve it (but each to their own opinion). I wouldn't call myself "depressed", but I am having a period of feeling down and sorry for myself atm.

I've seen a couple of other threads on here about people hating their jobs and I know exactly how they feel! I dread going into work every morning, and on a couple of occasions have contemplated calling in sick or making an excuse to leave I just feel like I'm wasting my life there.

When_the_going_gets_tough

Op can I just say - living the grown up life is not easy - be gentle with yourself. Give yourself this weekend if you can to get some proper food, no alcohol, some fresh air, some sleep and a few healthy treats . Then have a taking stock time - maybe book a couple of days holiday to do this. Depending on finances you could try a talking therapy, or life coaching or - the cheapest try writing it all down then see what advice you would give yourself if you were someone else - if you see what I mean! It is so easy to get in a downward spiral and hard to stop but its just as possible to build an upward spiral even if you cannot magic the job situuation just at the moment. Good luck

Tiddlywinks

You've already had some really useful advice over the last few months - it's now up to you...

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5011204=

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4993046=

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4974788=

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4965279=

What more do you expect to hear from people? You have to start trusting your own judgement and just getting on with things.

BunnieJ

Had a pretty good weekend, sorted some stuff out in our new flat and ordered a mattress (will finally have a proper bed next week! ) and had dinner with a friend. Came back down to Earth with a bump this morning when I remembered I had to get up for work! Woke up an hour before my alarm and just tossed and turned *yawn* I'm really not looking forward to going in. Got a business trip at the end of next week that I tried my best to avoid having to go to (involves flying which I am petrified of, and I don't feel like I have a place being there anyway so will feel awkward and anxious) I really don't want to go!

I applied for 3 jobs yesterday, so fingers crossed I can get an interview. They're all team leader/supervisory roles, but I figure that I need to start applying for them or I'll be stuck in low - paid, boring jobs forever

Daisy-May*

Hi Bunnie J

How are you getting on?

I also just wanted to say, please ignore Tiddlywinks, honestly those kind of responses really are not helpful.

How are you getting on looking for a new job?

I understand what you are saying about tablets, but they could help you in the short term if you are struggling however I do understand that not everyone wants to take them.

Take care

tomtontom

Tiddlywinks advice is good, OP needs to give herself a kick up the bum and make some changes - no one can do it for her.

Hope your trip went well BunnieJ

BunnieJ

Hi guys,

Thanks for the replies still not in the best place right now, but not feeling as bad as I have been.

My trip didn't go well at all, I got on the plane and then had to be taken off due to a panic attack! I'm going to have to find a course to help conquer my fear of flying.

I'm appreciative of all advice, although some is more helpful than others. If I don't find a comment useful I can just ignore it, no need to start whining about it!

My 'informal chat' seemed to go ok, but the job seemed pretty shady. The interviewer never contacted me again, but tbh I wasn't really bothered. I had another interview for a job that I really would have liked, but I found out yesterday that I didn't get it

Not sure what I want to do atm with my career (or lack of). My partner suggested starting my own business, so I started looking into that. I was thinking of opening a sweet shop or something similar, but a new one has just opened it our town it was only one idea though.

I tried contacting the National Careers Service but I didn't find them particularly helpful. Every job I thought was interesting needed at least degree level qualifications :undecided: