Prenuptial Agreements

margaretclare

THRIFTY_JO wrote:

You'd have though he'd be cynical about being with someone else but we both jumped in feet first, you only live once! He has paid off his cc with some of my savings and is paying me back so no nasty interest change surprises for him. We share everything as it is no fun when you can spoil yourself and the other person has no money for anything else but just living.

In a marriage aren't you supposed to support, respect and care about the other person? If you can't do that for someone you love then it makes me wonder!

I totally agree. This is similar to what we've done/what we do. 'All that I am I give you, all that I have I share with you' was what we said when we exchanged rings. If we hadn't felt able to say those words with total meaning and commitment, we wouldn't have said them in the first place.

Aunty Margaret

november

THRIFTY_JO wrote:

I have to say after accepting a marriage proposal two months ago, I can not belivee what I am reading. I am with Mr F come hell or high water. :beer: ...................

I'm not sure or not if that is re. my post but as it follows it I'm replying

I am, I hope, with MrN come hell or high water. We currently do share everything to ensure we both have the same amount of actual cash for spending/sharing/whatever.

In a marriage aren't you supposed to support, respect and care about the other person? If you can't do that for someone you love then it makes me wonder!

Surely discussing finances doesn't mean you don't support, respect and care for each other Neither do I understand how support, respect and care has anything to do with giving or not giving someone half of everything you owned before you met Love to me doesn't equal money or goods and support comes from discussing issues and reaching agreement. If a couple think the same on an issue how can they be showing a lack of respect to each other

Incidentally we are both the sort of people who do give things away 'just because' when we can. I have a computer awaiting its new owner, his tv went to someone who needed one. Love has nothing to do with that, we both give when we can and not just to each other.


I would be interested to hear why those who feel a pre-nup is not for them seem to feel it is a reflection on the relationships of those who feel it is for them. Different strokes for different folks surely I would never dream of stating those who don't want one in any form must have a lesser relationship/certain type of relationship/are a certain type of person. Live and let live.


p.s. to Aunty Margaret (if I may now call you that ). I'm not going to be saying those particular words, particulary the ones relating to sharing everything I owned previously. I may be many things but a hypocrite isn't one of them.

margaretclare

november wrote:

p.s. to Aunty Margaret (if I may now call you that ). I'm not going to be saying those particular words, particulary the ones relating to sharing everything I owned previously. I may be many things but a hypocrite isn't one of them.

No, neither are we hypocrites. As I said, we wouldn't have said those words if we hadn't meant them.

We are different. I WANTED him to have a share in everything I have. That's why I insisted we put the house into joint names, even though other people of our age-group are splitting the tenancy into tenants-in-common so that they can leave half to children. I didn't want it that way.

Aunty Margaret

sarahlouise210

Prenuptial agreements should be renamed as predivorce agreements! Their only purpose is to lay out rules before a divorce. To make an agreement that outlines what you will be entitled to keep in the event of a divorce before even getting married seems very sad to me. I agree with the live and let live theory.. we are all different and deal with relationship matters in our way - however had my husband suggested a prenuptial agreement before our marriage I would have not considered marrying him as I would have seen it as cold and callous and he would not have been the man I thought he was.He came into our marriage with more financial assets than me,however I have brought stability,meaning and family to his life. I can appreciate the comments that the prenuptial is a type of insurance policy however I cannot agree that romance is not lessened by a prenuptial agreement. Just my born romantic opinion!

Ms._Smith_3

You are so right - prenups are sad and distateful and should be banned. I've just come out of my 2nd successful marriage and on the lookout for my 3rd rich huband before I reture at 30.

elona

LOL :T :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

margaretclare

Can I just throw in another variation on this question, something that has been asked of me, hoping I'd have a 'common-sense' solution. I don't!

What happens in the case not of divorce but if/when one of the parties dies, and there are surviving kids?

The case that was put to me was: couple remarry, husband sells his house, moves into wife's house. She expects to be supported and to use the income from his sale of house as her own. He'd like to leave it to his kids when he dies. She wants to leave the house to her kids when she dies, making no provision for him. Apparently I was told, there is 'complete distrust' between the parties.

Any obvious common-sense solution? I must admit, no solution has appeared to me.

Aunty Margaret

Miroslav

Just to ask a couple of questions I don't know the answer too...

Can pre-nups be challenged and if so, what success rate is their when challenged?

Sarahsaver

i think pre-nups show a lack of trust, and if you mistrust someone enough to need a pre-nup then why marry them?

Eyes_Wide_Open_3

If you think asking your poorer partner to sign a prenup sucks, that positively pales into insignificance compared to the behaviour of some people when they switch to monster mode in the divorce and start demanding half of everything.