ELITE 11+ Awaiting glitches and chatting with friends

Savvybuyer

fairclaire wrote: »

Well you can join me on savvys rubbish heap young lady. We are just too normal.......or neurotypical as savvy would put it

Oh, don't be rejected:(.

As for "neurotypical" I wouldn't in fact put it that way. It's a term that I actually disagree with, because it isn't fully accurate - but I have used it on these threads as shorthand.

In fact the original meaning of NT was "non-autistic". However, the term NT now means non-autistic, non-ADHD and non- other things as well. So it is now ambiguous. As you know, I can't abide ambiguity:D. I use it in its original meaning. However, I was going to start saying "allistic" instead and using that term as that means "non-autistic", but I felt that the term "allistic" isn't widely known. Hence, my using of "neurotypical" (a neutral term btw that isn't intended to be derogatory or demeaning).

However, as I've now introduced [Strike]the world[/Strike] you to the word "allistic" and explained its meaning, I'm using that from now on!:) (Possibly.):rotfl:

davemorton

Can I do the smut test please...although it might break

fairclaire

Vouchercrazy, Im so glad you have joined in tonight

Savvybuyer

fairclaire wrote: »

You make a lot of good points and it helps with things I am struggling with just now.

DS2 is aware that he's autistic but doesn't like to talk about it. there is embarrassment there I don't want him to embarassed. He is who he is. But he's also becoming a teenager and it pains me to see the way he tries so hard to 'fit in'. I have always embraced the fact that he is different but that's frustrating him now and he desperately doesn't want to be different

I really feel for him at the moment because he's having a hard time

I'm glad to have done that:).:kisses3:

fairclaire

Savvybuyer wrote: »

Oh, don't be rejected:(.

As for "neurotypical" I wouldn't in fact put it that way. It's a term that I actually disagree with, because it isn't fully accurate - but I have used it on these threads as shorthand.

In fact the original meaning of NT was "non-autistic". However, the term NT now means non-autistic, non-ADHD and non- other things as well. So it is now ambiguous. As you know, I can't abide ambiguity:D. I use it in its original meaning. However, I was going to start saying "allistic" instead and using that term as that means "non-autistic", but I felt that the term "allistic" isn't widely known. Hence, my using of "neurotypical" (a neutral term btw that isn't intended to be derogatory or demeaning).

However, as I've now introduced [Strike]the world[/Strike] you to the word "allistic" and explained its meaning, I'm using that from now on!:) (Possibly.):rotfl:

Yes that term will have us all running off to google

i really am tired. Im going to bed. Thanks for the company all

EMMAP

I got 22

And now my business here is done. Night night!

davemorton

Well think it might be time for something on the telly for a bit.

vouchercrazy

fairclaire wrote: »

Vouchercrazy, Im so glad you have joined in tonight

It is rare I have joined anything,:rotfl::rotfl: my Nan use to tell me, sit on that garden gate and there you can see both sides of the fence before you say anything, in her way she was saying look at both side of a situation before opening my mouth, it did not dawn on me until I was in my late 30's that It click what she meant, I just kept my mouth shut or I had to fight :eek:

fairclaire

vouchercrazy wrote: »

It is rare I have joined anything,:rotfl::rotfl: my Nan use to tell me, sit on that garden gate and there you can see both sides of the fence before you say anything, in her way she was saying look at both side of a situation before opening my mouth, it did not dawn on me until I was in my late 30's that It click what she meant, I just kept my mouth shut or I had to fight :eek:

you are our vife now *hopes voucher crazy is a league of gentleman fan * :eek: :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Savvybuyer

Right. Fitting in. He's not going to do so. It's the body language connections, that are like a science diagram of molecules (or it may be atoms:o) all connected to each other by lines. I'm not much of a scientist:o:rotfl:. Everyone around me is part of that diagram, I am not: I am always out, on a limb, on my own. Pointed dot not connected to any of the other dots.

However, he's not the only person who experiences these things. You can reassure him of that. I have that all the time. I find it impossible to 'break' into a group of two or more other people (it would have to be two or more, as one wouldn't be a 'group':D). It's because I receive no social cues to tell me I can interrupt. It is like blindness in that area. As such, I cannot interrupt. If I do, I have picked the wrong moment - my interruption would always come across like that, an interruption, as rude.

I therefore have to wait until people have stopped talking (by 'talking' I mean completely stopped saying the words they are saying - you could consider that the body "talked" and was a form of communication - the "body language", however it does not "talk" to me. It does "talk" to everyone else, in that sense, as it says "you can interrupt".)

I can't, as don't get the message from any of that. As such, I have to wait for them to stop saying the actual words. By which time, they've finished conversation and my entry is now too late. Explains why I never get into conversations or make friends. (Then when I'm in too late, I'm wishing to input on what they were talking about - i.e. their words not any body language supposed "talking" that doesn't talk (in other words, it does not, to me). But they have finished that topic and now I am boring to them. The disinterest in "small talk" is also part of that 'problem'. People don't want to listen to a deep meaningful discussion on anything. It's just socialising, relaxing - not going into arcane subjects. But I'm not a boring person - honestly! Whilst I may discuss subjects, or do so in depth, and may go into things in a more academic-minded way, rather than 'relaxing', informal socialisation, I also like to be light-hearted and not take myself too seriously. So, really, I do have a human side - as you know folks.)

Not sure if DS (I forget which number sorry:o) attends an autism group or anything. Tell you, I had the problem last time, even at my autism group. I wanted to get into a conversation and felt rejected as no-one speaking to me. No-one recognises when I want to speak either. I felt quite down, until eventually somehow someone says something. It can feel like that sometimes. He's not alone in this!

As for 'hard time', hey, I've got through it all. I did so unaware that I was autistic (or had Asperger's). Just thought I was unsuccessful - never knew why, just merely thought it was that way. Kept trying - never got anything. Oh well, try again. Nothing. Try again. In the style of "the economy stupid" - it's the autism, stupid!

Maybe it's harder when you know. Maybe it isn't.

It's easier for me to talk to someone one-to-one. (They aren't talking to anyone else whom I have to interrupt, and I can never do that.) However even there it can be hard to attract someone's attention sometimes.

Usually at the SS when I am trying to redeem APGs:rotfl::rotfl:. The staff members will be chatting to one another, oblivious to my being there. I doubt that they would fail to notice an allistic person (as that person would be sending out invisible body language signals). It can be hard to go up to someone and ask them something. Particularly if they are in conversation with someone else. I tend to just wait at the SS... and wait, and wait...and wait:(... SS crying out "this till needs approval", staff still oblivious, never hear the machine:rotfl::rotfl:. So engrossed in their conversation:(:( and unaware of anything around them (except other allistic peoples' body language). Big queue building behind SS (okay, I'm being melodramatic a tad). Eventually they notice. At long last!:(:D An autistic person would never fail to be aware of the machine crying out. Indeed, some autistic people may be set off into sensory distress by a thing like that. I'm glad I don't really have sensory problems like that. But I would hear if a machine wanted staff approval!

Can staff see when I am bored, standing at the SS machine waiting for them to come to my assistance with the APG approvals? Of course not, don't be daft:rotfl::rotfl:.