A little advice re neighbour please.

Mojisola

Peter333 wrote: »

No she hasn't had counselling. She never would. Not in a million years.

That's a shame. Life would be much better without getting anxious about little issues.

pollypenny

Peter333 wrote: »

Oh I agree 100%. As I said above, nobody has done anything wrong; it's just a awkward situation. I think my wife SHOULD just be as casual and laid back as our daughter! And just not worry so much about not asking her back. I doubt Maria even cares!

No she hasn't had counselling. She never would. Not in a million years.

Quite . As I said , fuss over nothing. What was demeaning about that?

HPoirot

Your wife may feel self conscious the next few times she waves back but that will fade in time lol. Especially if it appears that Maria is not expecting her to return the social call. On Maria's side, I guess she probably found herself at a loose end and was just testing the waters socially with some neighbours. As I said, some people you gel with and some you don't.

Flossie.

I agree with the majority here Peter, that your wife should just wave back and say 'hi' when she sees this woman. I doubt the woman will think anything of it if she is not asked back. As you said, she has other friends, and so does your wife, in all the social settings that you and she get involved in.

I have had situations like this, when someone I simply have nothing in common with tries to be friends with me, and no matter how hard I try, I just can't bring myself to be friends with them. It sounds bad, but your wife would be doing the wrong thing by letting this woman believe she wants to be friends. And by the sound of it, your wife has plenty of friends already.

I also am not fond of people coming to my house, and prefer to meet people outside, like for a drink or for a meal. I feel that my home is my sanctuary, and that I don't want people invading it, and I don't want to be clock-watching, wondering when they are going.

Sounds awful I know, but like your wife, I am the same. Not overly fond of visitors. I don't mind if it's a visitor of my teen daughter, as she is entertaining them and keeping them happy. But I am not fond of people visiting.

I don't think your wife should get so stressed about all this though, but I can understand her reluctance to having people in the house, because I feel the same quite often.

JIL

I just think you carry on as you are. Just because your wife went for drinks doesn't mean you have to ask her back to yours especially if it makes your wife feel uncomfortable. I don't think explanations are needed. If you truly think your wife won't rest until she has been round then perhaps do something around Christmas when its in season.
She won't stop being your neighbour and it sounds like she is busy anyway. Maybe she may even be thinking of her own excuses of why she can't come round in case your wife asks.
Its easy to say but stop worrying and concentrate on what's important to your own family.

Flossie.

pollypenny wrote: »

Quite . As I said , fuss over nothing. What was demeaning about that?

But it's not a lot of fuss about nothing to Peter's wife is it?!

He was saying that he wishes that his wife could brush things off and not stress about them, for her sake. He wasn't demeaning her anxiety. Or saying that she is making a lot of fuss about nothing. You were the only one saying that.

Flossie.

JIL wrote: »

I just think you carry on as you are. Just because your wife went for drinks doesn't mean you have to ask her back to yours especially if it makes your wife feel uncomfortable. I don't think explanations are needed. If you truly think your wife won't rest until she has been round then perhaps do something around Christmas when its in season.
She won't stop being your neighbour and it sounds like she is busy anyway. Maybe she may even be thinking of her own excuses of why she can't come round in case your wife asks.
Its easy to say but stop worrying and concentrate on what's important to your own family.

I agree with this. I don't think the woman will be expecting anything. But if Peter's wife does feel bad and feels she should be asking her around, then she could just ask her for a glass of port around Christmas or something. Just on a weekend lunchtime or something. Just on the spur of the moment, and not a with a week's advance notice, so she has no time to stress about it.

MrsAtobe

Personally, after living next door to some one who threatened to kill me, I'm glad I've now moved to somewhere with neighbours like Maria.

Invite her round for afternoon tea, tea brewed in a teapot, scones/welsh cakes, or biscuits. Could your wife cope with an hour? If not, get someone to ring you with a (faked) emergency.