A little advice re neighbour please.

Peter333

......................

krlyr

I'd say just plod along as you have done. Polite hellos, and if Maria brings up a visit to either yours or hers, just make your excuses. I'm sure she'd get the hint - if you feel the need to, you could always explain to Maria about your wife's anxiety.

balletshoes

I don't think theres any need to formally invite your neighbour round to yours, or to mention again to her the "pop round" she was given when your daughter and wife were at her home.

If your wife has nothing in common with your neighbour, its entirely possible that your neighbour feels the same way, so may not be bothered about being invited on a specific date etc to come round to your home.

Just keep it hi and how are you, no need to pressure yourselves or your neighbour into anything more than that.

WeAreGhosts

our neighbour pretty much invited herself around to ours "for coffee" when she first moved in. we have managed to have polite conversation once in a while ever since. we never made any reference to what she said and we just plod along. just keep up the smiles and waves and hellos

CH27

She was probably feeling a bit lonely now she's on her own.

Just keep being polite & see what happens.

Peter333

CH27 wrote: »

She was probably feeling a bit lonely now she's on her own.

Just keep being polite & see what happens.

By being polite, do you mean, don't ask her, but still just keep saying 'hi' when we see her. ?

Peter333

WeAreGhosts wrote: »

our neighbour pretty much invited herself around to ours "for coffee" when she first moved in. we have managed to have polite conversation once in a while ever since. we never made any reference to what she said and we just plod along. just keep up the smiles and waves and hellos

I guess we could.

Also, I and my wife, are not overly keen on close friendly relationships with very close neighbours. Our nearest friends are 8-9 minutes walk away, which is close enough! Even so, we just meet them at the pub once every 5 or 6 weeks and only go if and when we want to. There is no pressure, and we both have lots in common with them.

CH27

Peter333 wrote: »

By being polite, do you mean, don't ask her, but still just keep saying 'hi' when we see her. ?

Basically yes.

Peter333

CH27 wrote: »

Basically yes.

Thank you.

meritaten

um Maria used to have her parents living with her - but they moved out in June so she is suddenly on her own and feeling lonely? Maria has always been housebound taking care of parents?
I really don't get this 'angst' - a neighbour has made friendly overtures. previously she probably couldn't take part in community things, but now she is on her own she is trying to make friends.
you don't have to become 'bosom buddies'. just offer a lift into village now and then. perhaps invite her over for a coffee and biscuits.
or better still - your wife rings her up and invites herself over for coffee. as your wife is the one who doesn't want visitors.
the way I read it is that your neighbour is suddenly lonely and wants to make friends. your wife doesn't. even though its your next door neighbour.
up to you really. either you respond to her friendly overtures or you don't. I don't think you care how this other woman feels, so if you and your wife aren't interested in making friends, then just carry on waving hello and ignore her. she will get the message.

pollypenny

Big fuss over nothing.

Just say hello, although maybe your daughter will be more friendly to her.