Advice required re.student daughter's allowance

Dolce75

cazziebo wrote: »

Yes, he should be making a contribution. If he was still living in the family home then he would be supporting his student daughter, even if that is just by providing the bed and board. The income of the PWC and partner is really no one's business but theirs. The daughter is still your husband's daughter.

(Again, why is it always the "new" partner who comes on complaining about child maintenance? Children are for life, not just until they reach a certain birthday!)

Cazziebo, I think you have missed the point. No one came on to 'complain about child maintenance'. We've paid child maintenance for many years, issue free. The original post was placed here to ask advice regarding extra pocket money on top of the already sizeable sum which has been reserved for the purpose of uni. No decisions have been made and no conclusions reached as yet. This is simply in an effort to obtain advice.

Dolce75

BrassicWoman wrote: »

Why are you posting for opinions and not your husband?

It's his problem to deal with... what is he saying and doing? We know a lot about *your* opinion...

We are a family. And trying to make a good, fair, responsible decision as a family. No problem in a marriage is just 'his' or 'hers'. My posting here is on our behalf, as I said in the original post, 'we' are worrying
about this.

RAS

I really do not think that other posters here have enough information to advise you regarding this; because plainly you do not have the information required.

Particuarly since you are unable to answer the basic questions about the names of those controlling the fund and whether the money has been paid into the fund or to someone in expectation that it will be paid into the fund.

I would suggest that the father talks directly to DD and makes sure that she knows that there is a university fund that he has paid into for the last 17 years. Obviously how she uses this over the next few years is entirely up to her

peachyprice

74jax wrote: »

Even though she is living rent free etc, it costs to put that roof over her head, she needs her lunches at uni etc, I think maybe a conversation with her about a monthly allowance wouldn't go amiss, maybe depositing £50/£100 a month direct to her for her uni books, food, etc might be the way to go.

But that is what the £10k is for surely, she can budget her £50-100 out of that herself?

I'm not sure if you are considering using the money for yourselves? You mention retirment and I'm wondering if you're asking if because she is living at home it's ok to use this money elsewhere?

I haven't read anything to suggest they want to take it away from the daughter, only that should they be giving her more on top of the trust. To which I say no, otherwise what was the point of putting the money in the trust in the first place.

Dolce75

FBaby wrote: »

I think you need to be careful taking the attitude that because you work whilst studying at uni, so should she. Did you study sciences? Did you get top grades? I think the issue of working during Uni depends on a number of factors, but unless it was financially essentiel, I would prefer my children to be given the opportunity to get top grades than to work a couple of hours a week at least during their first year until they settle and are more aware of how many hours they need to achieve top grades.

Yes, I agree with you wholeheartedly. I'm not of the opinion that because I worked, so should she. I'm merely pointing out that she is in a very fortunate position in having the policies with thousands available to her, as many others do not have this luxury and do have to work, as did I. I am highlighting the other side of the coin. Yes, I did study the sciences and yes I did achieve a first with honours.
In being a responsible parent, I feel it is important to attempt to instil an appreciation of money and a sense of responsibility in the child. University is not solely about achieving a qualification. It's also a crucial time to be acquiring fundamental life skills and money managing and a mature sense of responsibility are two of these skills.
That being said, if a part time job during holiday periods for instance was conflicting with her ability to study, of course we would reassess. We are good and responsible parents and want to do the best for my step daughter, in every way.

Dolce75

peachyprice wrote: »

But that is what the £10k is for surely, she can budget her £50-100 out of that herself?




I haven't read anything to suggest they want to take it away from the daughter, only that should they be giving her more on top of the trust. To which I say no, otherwise what was the point of putting the money in the trust in the first place.

Yes Peachy Price. You have understood correctly. This is her money, placed in a policy in her name, which was built up month after month for 17 years until maturation when she left school at 18. It was my husband's idea many years ago so that when the time for uni came around, she was financially secure, if you like a 17 year plan towards uni. There is another policy also built for 17 years so far which is due to mature in 2.5 years.
I do see that many readers are missing the point.

Caroline_a

Makes me wonder if she's spent it on something else....!

However, I do agree that students should at least work during the holiday periods, even if only to give them some spending money. I believe that you need to learn 'how to work', and that lesson can sometimes be a difficult one, so better done in a non-threatening environment such as a student job rather than first few jobs out of university.

Dolce75

74jax wrote: »

Even though she is living rent free etc, it costs to put that roof over her head, she needs her lunches at uni etc, I think maybe a conversation with her about a monthly allowance wouldn't go amiss, maybe depositing £50/£100 a month direct to her for her uni books, food, etc might be the way to go.

I'm not sure if you are considering using the money for yourselves? You mention retirment and I'm wondering if you're asking if because she is living at home it's ok to use this money elsewhere?

Oh my! Under no circumstances could we or would we use this money for ourselves! How was that even implied? This policy is and always was in her name. I mention retirement because I am highlighting the fact that our situation has drastically changed in our ability to top up the thousands that are already hers. I also mention my husband's retirement in order to highlight what a good and positive thing it was to take these policies out in the first place, back at a time when it was affordable. Times have since changed.

peachyprice

Dolce75 wrote: »

Yes Peachy Price. You have understood correctly. This is her money, placed in a policy in her name, which was built up month after month for 17 years until maturation when she left school at 18. It was my husband's idea many years ago so that when the time for uni came around, she was financially secure, if you like a 17 year plan towards uni. There is another policy also built for 17 years so far which is due to mature in 2.5 years.
I do see that many readers are missing the point.

Do you think she may have blown the lot when she got it at 18? If so she's just learned a valuable lesson!

Loanranger

Here's a thought, many graduate employers like to see work experience on a CV and your stepdaughter should be mindful of this when she thinks about career planning.
She should not go through university without any work experience of any kind or she will put herself at a disadvantage. Her university department will have advice on how many hours a week are acceptable or none.