Any single parents (now or previously) who survived financially?!

Hopefuljoy

Hello fellow single parents! I've been a single mum since 2007 when we finally escaped the abusive man I was married to. At the time I was existing in a part time teaching assistant salary and every benefit I could get my hands on. Fortunately I was able to put down a deposit on a house from the sale of our old one but I had to improve my income a lot if I was to keep it!

So I got a student loan and trained to become a teacher in 2009 after we moved house and area. It has been and still is a long hard slog! I've a big mortgage and my children and I have had big personal issues to deal with from the abuse, however, from day one after leaving we have been so grateful to be out of that situation and to be safe!

Like all of you my life is far harder than I ever dreamed when I was growing up. Sometime I look back and as it as a disaster. But in my heart I know it isn't ans that we three are doing well in ways we could never imagine. Money is extremely tight even on a full time rescue salary especially as I increased the mortgage when I got into debt, but we get on with it cheerfully.

This isn't entirely the life I wanted but it is a good alternative!!

I wish you all great hope and joy in th future and am so glad to have stumbled across this thread. I gained restatement from you all last night!!

Hopefuljoy

Just noticed all my typos!!!! Sorry!!

Hopefuljoy

I gained great strength I mean!

Prudent

There are some incredible stories in this thread. Thank you to everyone who has contributed. I thought I would share my own as a bit of encouragement. My dd is now an adult, but I was a single parent. My real breaks were a Northern Rock mortgage and this website.

I needed to find a home for DD and I because ex was making threat and I was no longer safe in what had been the marital home. At the time I only had casual work with no assured steady income. Thankfully Northern Rock were giving out mortgages like smarties at that time. Taking the biggest gamble of my life I decided to buy a house. I had a choice of a renovation project in a nice area or a 'done up' house in a not very nice area. I took the renovation project. I remember my dad saying I could improve the house, but not the area. When we moved in it was December. The heating didn't work properly and even the cooker failed to cook the Pizza a very kind friend had bought round for our first meal. By February I realised that most of the heat was lost through the poor windows and the house needed new windows badly.

I am now 12 years down the line. I have been very exhausted at times to the point it has impacted on my health. However thanks to years of learning on MSE, I am now mortgage free, have a renovated house, good savings and we have had wonderful holidays ( mainly thanks to competition wins). I am confident about handling my won finances and a stronger and very independent person. I do have a fiance, but have chosen to keep my finances separate as I actively enjoy managing my money. Sometimes it is two steps forward and one back, but in time you will be able to look back and celebrate what you have achieved.

girlatplay

Prudent you are where I am aiming for at the moment! Thank you for sharing.

going_nowhere_fast

I hope i achieve that, thanks for sharing.

going_nowhere_fast

Re-reading for motivation, especially GAP's story. Sometimes you need a reminder you'll get there in the end.

zenshi

I've not seen this thread before but I too fit the bill although not out of the woods yet, I can however see the clearing

Me, the now ex and two kids of 8 and 6 moved into a house that was liveable in but only just. 3 months later' he left!

I kept the house and mortgage (big struggle but hey ho ) and carried on. Put myself through college, started my own business which was brill while kids were little ( few rough patches but back on track now)

Fast forward to now nearly 17 years later....my daughter has just started her Masters, my son has just bought his own house and is a Royal Marine, and the house has an extension and is almost finished. I've learnt new skills as I couldn't afford tradesmen over the years :rotfl:

Yes, I'm in a DMP but making headway and all done without a bloke. It's been very hard and exhausting but determination pays off

going_nowhere_fast

Wow well done you!! You must be so proud of yourself and kids.

The answer is always earn more......but what to do? That's the big question.

MrJester

All you single parents are the bees knees!!