Following on from the 'did I over react' thread

DUTR

Out of interest ladies, what would be the 'correct' way to back off from a situation?
My time with a contact has run it's course, she/I hasn't done anything wrong as it were, however the little things that annoy me will grow bigger and her situation doesn't appear to be able to change in the near future (which is a worry for me) .
To be honest even if a FWB from her court was on the table, I wouldn't accept.
Just to add, we are both past an age of starting a family and we are both of the been there done that mindset, cohabiting is not an option either.

Person_one

One of these answers is correct.

A. Just disappear off the face of the earth, she'll get the message eventually.

B. Start acting like a complete tosspot around her, be really passive aggressive and infuriating until she gets fed up and does your dirty work for you.

C. Be honest, tell her that you don't want to see her anymore and wish her well for the future.


Which do you think? Although considering what a Casanova you are based on your posts, I'm completely shocked you haven't got a patented solution for this scenario.

dandelionclock30

Just tell her politely that you think the relationship has run its course and that you dont wish to be involved with her anymore. Like the person above says wish her all the best for the future.
Also either tell her face to face or ring her dont send her a text as its just cheap and nasty.
Then at least she will be able to move on quickly and get herself someone elce instead of wondering if your still about etc or whats happening.

DUTR

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

Just tell her politely that you think the relationship has run its course and that you dont wish to be involved with her anymore. Like the person above says wish her all the best for the future.
Also either tell her face to face or ring her dont send her a text as its just cheap and nasty.
Then at least she will be able to move on quickly and get herself someone elce instead of wondering if your still about etc or whats happening.

Thanks for politely replying, I didn't expect a cotton wool wrapped answer, as in the other thread I would have chosen to do what the Op's friend had done, I will 'have' to see her at least once more as I have something for her from abroad (at least I didn't miss her birthday) and now is a good neutral time really.

DUTR

Person_one wrote: »

One of these answers is correct.

A. Just disappear off the face of the earth, she'll get the message eventually.

B. Start acting like a complete tosspot around her, be really passive aggressive and infuriating until she gets fed up and does your dirty work for you.

C. Be honest, tell her that you don't want to see her anymore and wish her well for the future.


Which do you think? Although considering what a Casanova you are based on your posts, I'm completely shocked you haven't got a patented solution for this scenario.

To be fair I have tried (A) already, (B) contrary to my screen character, I'm not a posstot, never burn brifges n all that. (C) Although seems the most logical, it seems the most hurtful too.

lovewealthhappiness

Umm, forgive my ignorance, but how is telling someone you're sorry but you don't want to see them anymore, no hard feelings, all the best more hurtful than dropping off the face of the planet, ignoring them, and leaving them to come to their own conclusions about what's so bad about them that you couldn't simply say sorry, but this isn't for me?

Is this something that men are taught at school?!

DUTR

lovewealthhappiness wrote: »

Umm, forgive my ignorance, but how is telling someone you're sorry but you don't want to see them anymore, no hard feelings, all the best more hurtful than dropping off the face of the planet, ignoring them, and leaving them to come to their own conclusions about what's so bad about them that you couldn't simply say sorry, but this isn't for me?

Is this something that men are taught at school?!

I'm not the other guy that posts debatable threads
On the whole different people have different needs/wants from a relationship and life in general (after all we only get one chance) .
I'll just try and keep it diplomatic, we are both at different financial positions and although she is trying to get to a better position , it hinders a lot of things (I would like to do) , I'm not the sugar daddy kind of guy and she is not the type to 'use' a bloke for help .

dandelionclock30

You read it on here women thinking their boyfriend/partner/husband etc is having a breakdown/depressed or has something wrong with them/or going on for them when its not that at all. Its the guy who had enough but hasnt got the guts to tell the woman straight.
If you tell them its over but nicely then at least they can have some respect for you.Its better than them being all worried and upset.
Most women can cope with being finished with as its happened to everyone at some point. But what people dont like is being taken the P out of. There is less likley to be any comeback for someone if they just tell them straight.

DUTR

Flumina wrote: »

Cool things off a bit, and then tell her. That way it's not so much like a bolt out of the blue. (Unless maybe she already has an inkling that you are not interested any more?)

She has already sent a message earlier today to say I've been quiet and seem to be backing off, so yes she has a good inclining that things are due to end as they are.

dandelionclock30

Well shes paved the way for you to tell her then. Good luck with it.

DUTR

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

You read it on here women thinking their boyfriend/partner/husband etc is having a breakdown/depressed or has something wrong with them/or going on for them when its not that at all. Its the guy who had enough but hasnt got the guts to tell the woman straight.
If you tell them its over but nicely then at least they can have some respect for you.Its better than them being all worried and upset.
Most women can cope with being finished with as its happened to everyone at some point. But what people dont like is being taken the P out of. There is less likley to be any comeback for someone if they just tell them straight.

That's why I commented in an earlier post about it being hurtful,
well the messaging has started agaon, and I have mentioned that we are going to have to have a chat, to which the reply is "I don't like the sound of that" followed by "a good chat or not so good"