Did I over-react?

lovewealthhappiness

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HeavyMetalFan

I think you're entitled to feel aggrieved.

Firstly because he said he would contact you to make further arrangements and it is logical you would expect this to be followed up on.

Secondly, this is a friend of over ten years. Not some random who you went on two bad dates with and can be avoided for the rest of your life. Very poor on his part.

Newlyboughthouse

My general rule of thumb is, never ever do the texting. If they like you, they will text you. I am so so stubborn and when I was 'dating' before meeting my long term partner, no matter how much I liked someone, I would always wait for them to contact me, almost being aloof. I found it made them like me more. If they think you don't give a s**t, you will be on their mind. If they know you're keen - not so much.

What you did though was so not a nut job thing to do. I have a friend who basically stalked men and then wonder why they weren't interested. She did crazy things like lay in the middle of the road to get their attention. She lost all dignity and self-respect several times lol.

Yes he should/could have told you he wasn't interested, but if he hasn't contacted you within a few days of date, move on and forget.

bagpussbear

No you did not over-react. I'd be irritated in your situation too.

He treated your poorly here, as a friend of 10 years I would have expected him to be honest with you.

And to miss your birthday because he was too cowardly to make contact, is a shame.

The plus side is that you found out he is a coward very early on in your relationship so at least no hearts have been broken.

January20

No, you didn't over-react.
No, you are not a nut job!

And yes he is a coward and not a very good friend either!

pinkshoes

He was a !!!!!!. He asked to meet up again, then didn't contact you.

No need to feel bad!

HPoirot

No, put it all behind you, it's all water under the bridge. I'm sure he won't think you're a !!!!!! for asking where you stood with him, which is basically what you did. Chalk it up to experience and move on.

ETA What I meant was, don't agonise over it, your reaction was acceptable in the circumstances.

gt568

Sounds like the dude has had a lucky escape... ;-)

lovewealthhappiness

Thanks for the replies.

I'm trying not to let it get to me, but I'm just really sad about it. I don't understand why he instigated the whole thing if he hadn't thought it through properly or what was so bad about me that he didn't already know about

Oh well. Back to the drawing board I guess!

DUTR

I didn't wan't to rail road this thread, I'm in a similarish situation to the OP's friend, would be interesting to read other viewpoints.

krlyr

Been there! Have to admit, it's not a particularly graceful way to go about things but I was glad I did as it allowed me to shut (or rather, slam) that door closed and move on.

If he hasn't got the manners to let you know there was no future, he's earnt the same rudeness from you!