NST;September Squirrels

Fmess

dolly are you sure DS doesn't know already? My parents never told us but other kids at primary school knew and told everyone. Personally I would tell DS, if DD knows then surely it's just a matter of time and it'd make it easier for you and DH.

applemuncher sorry to hear about DD's shingles hope she feels better soon.

I am planning on messaging my best friends and arranging to do birthdays instead of Christmas, as it's a milestone for us all in the next year. My siblings and I did a small limit last year and OH and I did nothing so hoping he'll agree to that again. Going to get a game or two for the families with kids instead of doing individual presents but we don't have lots of people to buy for so hoping to have a smallish Christmas.

Today has been SFD number 5 Looking forward to a few more as the budgets are nearly gone and there are 2.5 weeks until payday. Not much else happening here, no exercise while I fight off the end of this cold but I'm in bed already so getting my r&r time in.

Night all

mothernerd

stewby wrote: »

Reflective time is certainly happening. Due to some work issues, I have basically been spending a lot of time thinking stuff through. Sadly, it is not relaxing. Sorry mothernerd, I think I am going to fail this one.
:sad:

You are not failing, but perhaps not necessarily helping yourself. Other people have mentioned 'over-thinking'. Is thinking about the work problems helping you deal with them or arrive at a solution/ way forward or are you just re-hashing bad moments from your day. Might it be helpful to allow yourself 15 minutes to think over the work problems - let's call it 'worry time' and then put that aside and try not to let yourself dwell on it until your 15 minute 'worry time' the next day. Someone on another thread practiced this with her grand-daughter (there were some family problems) but the child had become anxiety ridden, worried by news stories, film plots and 'what if's '.

Congratulations on your new debt -free date. It's good to aim high but better to acknowledge what can be achieved and then try to beat it.:money:

LoveaDove wrote: »

Thank you for all of the iron enhancing tips! I used to love a cup of tea in the morning with my breakfast, but after reading on my blood donation leaflet that both tea and soya inhibit iron uptake from food, I had to replace my beloved hot cuppa tea (and soya milk) with a coffee and cows milk!

My Futurelearn course starts today, so I am looking forward to logging into my account later to get started on it!

Love the second mini challenge mothernerd- I have already decided with my closest friend's what I will be doing regarding presents, however I still need to consider my family & other half's gifts and the card situation. So thanks for a prompt to get the thinking cap on and start planning!

Hope those feeling poorly and poorly pets are feeling more spritely today! The sun is shining here today, which will make ecotherapy that bit more delightful!

x

Progress on all fronts - good to see.:j

dolly84 wrote: »

I have a Christmas dilemma, last year I told my almost 10 year old DD that there was no Santa and we had to pay for everything. The way we have Christmas set up has led to all sorts of expense but it was too late to change the way we had explained Santa and his gifts. My DS is 9 in January, do I tell him the same thing or wait for him to find out himself? The problem is even if he finds out he may very well keep quiet as it is in his interest.

The main reason for me wanting him to know is the stress of trying to hide things from children of this age and then have it magically appear on the morning, plus I don't want to spend hundreds of pounds on things they don't really want, if he knew it was our money for sure I think he would be less demanding and only ask for things he really wants. DD has her birthday in December and DS in January so it is a very expensive time. Any comments would be appreciated.

I'm not sure what to say and will think things over and give a more considered reply. I would think that at that age he does know, really (and may get teased in the playground if he doesn't).

If you do tell him it might help to have a family meeting and talk about what 'makes Christmas' for you all. When my OH was contracting he was ill one year (Bell's palsy). He couldn't work as the computer room environment made his symptoms worse. Without doing the big reveal (they were much too young at 7, 5 and 2) we had to get some idea of how we could cut back and what was essential.

I knew DS2 (and possibly DS1) wanted a Thunderbirds suit and I had some yellow material for the sashes and the right blue to make the hats and thought a pair of budget pjs in the right colour would bring me in way under the shop outfit cost (think they were £15.99). So we talked about what was important and they said 'chocolate money' - getting chocolate coins in their stockings was really important to them and it was something it would have been so easy to leave out, when we were cutting back. DS3 still gets chocolate money (white chocolate) and he is 23.

Maybe you could also start introducing new 'family customs' such as watching a movie together (DS3 and I like both versions of Miracle on 34th Street) - sorry if this is something you already do.

One thing that helped when I was on my own with the boys (daddy wanted to buy a 'big' showy present, I had to do the present from me, the main 'santa' present and all the stocking contents) was that my mother and brother would let me choose what the boys were getting from them (they set the amount). We often bought big leg* sets half price in the sales and mum would store them and wrap them. Do you have relatives who you could allot certain gifts to (and Santa 'brings' all the presents).

You seem to have set the bar high - does he get more or less everything he decides he wants (not trying to be nasty just wondered how much talking down you need to do). I know he is probably at the age where it has to be the exact thing/ model/ serial number (younger children are more generic - My bil said I couldn't get a skateboard for under a tenner - I could, I also got a half size pool table for £10 from the second hand shop. But later on Ds2's skateboards were £65 and upwards for the deck alone).

I understand the hiding things - I hid 3 bikes under the stairs for several weeks but it took me all afternoon (took everything out, carefully put the bikes in side by side, then put all the junk (spare bits of wood in front, plastic sheets for using during painting on top) back in - looked so boring (same as usual) they never bothered looking. It did get to the stage where I left all the buying biscuits etc until the last minute because I couldn't leave the house without them turning out my underwear drawers and raiding my wardrobe (finally resorted to wrapping everything and colour coding it, one pattern, one plain for each boy - there were presents there but no labels on anything, could be boring stuff for aunties.

I'm sorry, I said I was going to take time to consider and I have rambled away. use anything that is useful, ignore anything that is not. Everyone else chip in.

SFD for me and much clutter-clearing. Mr and mrs builder have taken away the 12 thin steps (chunky ones now in position, the original set back positions) and 3 rubble sacks of bits for their wood-burning stove. I have some lovely new plug sockets (more to be done tomorrow) and I can get into the attic. Bad news is mr laminate-flooring didn't turn up. Up-side is I still have my bed to sleep in (couldn't get to sleep last night and didn't sleep well so very tired).

Mr and mrs builder will be back tomorrow (possibly with mr laminate flooring handcuffed to the bumper - they were going to track him down when they left).

Today I am grateful for attic stairs (the things I have that I had forgotten about including a never worn top - remembered it last night, perfect for the boat trip and a sweatshirt with only one paint splodge, practically Sunday best for me) and my bed (lovely, lovely, supportive, comfortable bed.

stewby

Personally, I would just be honest with him. To be honest, your DS probably already knows but just wants to keep quiet.
One of my relatives did this just to get better presents (although she now claims it was to keep her parents happy as they enjoyed playing at santa) whilst the other one came clean as she wanted to pick her own pressies. Kids eh.


However, we don't know your son personally so we couldn't know how he would take the news but you might be able to judge it a bit better than us.
:undecided

I upload my pictures on to photo bucket (you have to make an account but it's free) then put them on using the internet using that. Hope that helps a bit applemuncher.


Thanks for the responses. My original credit card belonged to my dad (although it is my debt) so I have never taken one out before or done anything with one, hence the stupid question.
I think tescimos one is the best deal. It will save me over £200 where as the others will cost me money to change over so it won't be so worth it.
Have spoken to my dad about the bank cards and will be applying tomorrow and changing over the debt to a 0% card. Hopefully it all goes well.


Spendy day today but only cause we went to buy an engagement card. We bought some food for the house but this means the next few days should be spend free. Oh... and we got some sweeties for xmas (morries has two boxes for £8).


edit: sorry mothernerd cross posted. I do normally come to a solution but it sometimes takes a while as some of the problems are quite complex and it is A) do I want to risk getting involved, and what is the right solution. It has possibly been resolved now... well, hopefully.

liltdiddylilt

Evening all!

Apple :eek: your poor poor DD. I don't know if anyone on here has suffered the excruciating pain of shingles; I have only lived with my mum having them for years. She is a strong lady but these reduce her to feeling so ill she doesn't get out of bed, and is often in tears. Sending the most gentle of hugs for DD; make sure you note down all the early signs. Headache, not sleeping well? Grumpy? Anything aching? Appetite changes? The earlier you can catch it, the earlier you can get meds and get it gone. Mum has a supply in the cupboard!

Dolly lots of people have said enough already. I think I was about 7-8 when I was laughed at in school for mentioning Santa. I toughed it out and pretended I knew he wasn't real, and that I just said that. We were quite poor growing up and I always knew that mum bought the presents, but gave them to Santa. It let me know there was a monetary limit, even whilst I was sure a magic man spirited them away. She used to wrap them up a few days before Christmas, leave them under the tree one night, and then in the morning they were gone. The elves came and took them. I have seen people sprinkling 'fairy dust' from Tinkerbell through the house and all sorts.

One year, we were very very poor. My mum went without shoes, haircuts and food... the usual mum sacrifices. She sat us down and explained (I was maybe 7?) that we had a limit of money for Christmas. She gave me and my little sister an Argos catalogue each. The limit was £30. We spent an entire day, followed by more days of going back in and checking and re-calculating, just looking for the one thing we REALLY wanted. My little sister was too small to do the maths so I helped her figure out what she could get with what. Apart from my bike when I was 12, that is the ONLY Christmas present I remember. I got some black inline skates, with fluorescent yellow laces and white wheels. The 'sock' inside had purple, yellow and black geometric patterns on the outside. Never have I ever used a present as much as I used those skates. I had the best Christmas with them. Not only that but the looking was half the fun!

My MIL said last year that they bankrupted themselves on Him's presents every year. And that it will take her another 20 years from now to pay off the first 20 of his Christmases. He remembers nothing. 'Oh.. I got clothes (the best brands) and stuff'.

Stewby don't beat yourself up over the debt free date and well done on the Credit Card and wedding planning (congratulations!) - you're moving in the right direction always!

MagicCat I raise you further... £118.04 :eek:

Mothernerd your Christmas mini challenge is fab. I am well on the way to having most of my presents bought, and just need to sort wrapping. I am starting to make cards from Jellytot. I have been collecting the plastic lids from so many containers. You know the round ones, clear? On top of pots of yoghurt etc? I thought I would make little snow scenes inside them on card! It will take a while but I am determined. Year before last I baked star shaped biscuits with a hole in, bought some cellophane bags and ribbon and used multicoloured glittery icing to write everyones names. Once it was dry, I hung the biscuit on the ribbon, then bagged it and tied more ribbon around with the 'hanger' sticking out of the top. I hung ours on the tree that year, then stored them with baking powder in a tin and they were perfect last year too. Decorations for life! Everyone loved them, and they made the presents so much more special.

[Deleted User]

Finding it hard to comment back on all your news...thought it might make you giggle if I describe why...one paying guest (but almost =old friend by now, we have such a lot of laughs over last few weeks on odd days she has stayed) asleep on futon in lounge...she had to return to uni unexpectedly this week so asked to stay at v short notice. Dd just falling asleep in her room. My room all smart clean and ready for two paying guests who are delayed on their journey south. Me..sat on floor in kitchen, or on stairs, or in bathroom, reading on my phone and trying to stay awake whilst not wake others up. Edit: they arrived very apologetic and so now I'm on the pull out mattress in dd's room,hiding phone under dd's bed to keep light from waking her! All this nets us about £65. Worth it???
To be fair, not many guests are this late and it's very rare to have so many stay! And many have become v good friends along the way...just look forward to less sitting on my stairs in the future!!
Not a NSD today, extra milk etc for guests. Dd went to Aldi for me. Love the idea of challenge, could do with getting ready ahead of time! Have been soaking jam jars for marmalade and mincemeat as gifts ahead of Xmas for friends. I like to buy a token of my thanks for my team at work, but struggle as even a nice bottle adds up. This year they have really helped me more than ever, and I know are having tough times financially. I hit on idea of paying the deposit for our works bash for them (they all want to go). It will cost me 30 in total but shockingly this is half what I spent on them last time, and makes it possible to treat my team without having to get rounds in for the entire bigger unit. Hoping they will appreciate the gesture...

stewby

Had to giggle lilt, you just reminded me of a story. I made those one year but we didn't treat them as nicely as you, they went into the loft after xmas and came down the following year.
So during the summer, we had a power cut due to some poor wee mouse having a nibble at the wires. This poor wee mouse had also taken a shining to my xmas ornaments and eaten all them too... even the ribbons!!
:rotfl:

I will be honest, I remember most of the presents I got for xmas. They were big presents considering my parents weren't fantastically well off, we were very lucky.
Anyways... the reason why I am telling you this is because even though I remember my presents, that's not why I remember xmas and not what my brother remembers either. We both remember the xmas fairy.
When my brother was younger (before I was on the go), the fairy fell off the top of the tree and went behind the sofa. My brother became upset and asked my mum where it had gone. Her response was that the fairy had gone to visit santa to tell him if he had been good.
He is now 34 and we still look for the fairy to go missing every year.

The thing is that your child won't remember the big things... it's the little things that they will remember.
If someone asks me about xmas, that is one of the first things I tell them about.

Sorry, a bit rambly but hopefully you understand what I am trying to say.
:undecided

luckystarr

Hello All

Spendy day today as predicted. meal planned and bought food shopping accordingly.
Been to slimming world and lost 1.5lb so pleased with that. Then my BF and went out for some food her treat so a good day in all.

Mothernerd thank you for the mini challenge about Christmas i have't really thought about it as it strikes fear in my because yet again we haven't planned correctly for it !!!. Not sure where to start this year. Have seen on here about doing food bank donations instead of gifts to friends .How would you go about this. Think me and the OH have decided we aren't going to spend on each other as need to save. It is a little more difficult for us a majority of our friends have children (we don't at present) and we tend to but for both friends and children ,so I am in a dilemma plus OH has a BIG family 3 sisters 1 brother and nieces/nephews and great nieces. Starting to regret not planning lol.

What Christmas threads are people subscribing too ??

Applemuncher hope DD is better soon

Hugs to all that need them .

I am off to bed ad have an early start and i am hoping to get a run in before work .

Night All xxx

mothernerd

Well there's this one
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4853442

and this one
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4852134

As I said previously they may or may not be your sort of people (usually very nice people) but the links are helpful - not all of them work, think a lot are carried over from year to year. Having the Christmas Elf come to stay sounds like a good one for small children (the elves report to Santa on behaviour but also get up to mischief in the house).

They also mention other things like the grabbit board (and something similar but can't remember the name) . I tend to get a bit lost if I stray away from the Debtfreewannabee board. I like some of the old style stuff. However you could end up spending all your day on here and never getting anything done. I should probably learn to do proper bookmarks soon - I can bookmark but don't know where they go when I've done it.

I also have another magazine article (another from the men's health ones DS1 was throwing out) about technology/ internet apps/sites - I don't need one to co-ordinate all my social media (Ds3's facebook is fine for the free games and occasional news of my nieces but I have no need to twoot or whatever) however it did mention something called a notebook which seems to be like a notebook on the computer but because it's on the computer you can move things round, have different categories and never run out of space (as someone currently reaching the end of 3 notebooks and odd bits of paper and trying to ensure I transcribe any vital bits to a new secure location).

Sorry I am rambling again.

speakingofart

Spendy day yesterday as bought some tickets for a fundraising event my Guide district is doing for me and family, but most of the money was theirs, so only £12.50 down. Did get my walk in at lunchtime, which was nice - feel like this week is just soooo long - it needs to be monday, payday and my DFD NOW! <ahem> Roll on the weekend!


Groceries: £25.73/£52.57 (until 15th September)
£120 15th September- 15th October

Fuel: 0/£16.14 (until 15th September)
£60 15th September - 15th October

Daily Exercise: 4/ 18
SFD 4/18
Food Bank 0/£3

Everhopeful09

Hello,

Apologies for not checking in before now but things have been a bit chaotic and no internet connection at home.

Have moved into a new rented flat, increase in outgoings but it's my own little home and will force me to budget properly and shop around for best deals. Spending has gone out of the window as needed to buy food and other essentials for the flat.

I have not achieved any SFD's, does moving house, carrying boxes and furniture and running up & down stairs count as exercise? Trying to eat healthily though.

I am thankful for a permanent job, great family, friends and work colleagues who have supported me over the past few months.

Debt wise I need to shift my cc onto a 0% deal.

EH x