Spent 4 years pretending it's all OK

jvr

Hi NOA


Finally caught up on your diary. Firstly, I'm sorry that conversation with your husband would frustrate anybody. It just sucks that you end up having to deal with alone because its less hassle. Mine can be similar and I often find that when I leave things to him things go wrong which leaves me more anxious than if I had dealt with it myself! All I can say is remember your not totally alone in sorting this, there are so many of us here and its taken me till now to realise that getting support here with it from multiple people is better than getting frustrated with OH or feeling alone and overwhelmed!

eco_farmer

toppermost post::T:T

NoOneAround

jvr wrote: »

Hi NOA


Finally caught up on your diary. Firstly, I'm sorry that conversation with your husband would frustrate anybody. It just sucks that you end up having to deal with alone because its less hassle. Mine can be similar and I often find that when I leave things to him things go wrong which leaves me more anxious than if I had dealt with it myself! All I can say is remember your not totally alone in sorting this, there are so many of us here and its taken me till now to realise that getting support here with it from multiple people is better than getting frustrated with OH or feeling alone and overwhelmed!

Thanks jvr, I absolutely know that, learnt it the hard way. This is my "go" to place when there is no one around that understands. Not sure where I would be now if it wasn't for all the support on here ... Good time to remember to say "Thank You" to everyone:A

eco_farmer wrote: »

toppermost post::T:T

...of the poppermost :rotfl:
NOA
x

redofromstart

Much sympathy from me about the pain of talking to OH about finances. Always a triumph of hope over experience, and always depressing. I'm the same on money, cleaning and clutter now.

NoOneAround

Thank You Redo, it seems there are more than few other halves that have this affliction!

DH works really hard, but that's all he focuses on. If he decides to do DIY or gardening, that is his focus for the amount of time he has allocated, and woe betide anyone suggest anything different. I meanwhile flap between school, kids, SE, part time jobs, house, garden, voluntary work and my mum. I always feel like I never really get anything done (though I know that's not true). Life was so much simpler when we both had careers, it was a lot more even playing field, but I hated not being able to do things with the kids while they were little.

Anyway.....I digress. I came on to list Postives for today

1) SE Invoices paid - a little late but now done.
2) A couple of hours work done this morning.
3) Called Mortgage provider again, confirmed that all larger payments automatically come of the capital amount. SO now I can probably set up a spreadsheet to do projections and monitor closely for the next few years. Will work on that as and when.
4)Weighed in and another lb lost so whats gone is staying off
5) Ordered more oil, but got a bit of a shock when I heard the balance on our account, DD will need to go up again, waiting to hear by how much may decide to just pay off a small lump.

3 letters to get ready to post for SE now, then I think I will do a bit more desk clearing.
Anxiety levels are still high, check BP at home and it is better than at gps last week, but still not good. I hope its just a blip due to stress. I have a gift voucher for a spa just down the road, but that would mean having to do my legs again, :rotfl: thought I'd wait till its a bit warmer and I want to wear a skirt!

NOA
x

brizzledfw

Just checking in.. you’re doing brilliantly just watch that BP!

Have a great weekend xx

redofromstart

I think nature of both of us is that we focus on what didn't get done. Very thinly stretched sometimes, and extra difficult when someone else just sails through. You clearly do a huge amount, and it's fatal to get sucked into seething resentment. That's when the row happens round these parts, and it doesn't help. I'm trying to just get on with stuff, for me because it will make me feel better.

NoOneAround

Yes, Redo, it doesn't get you anywhere. I went through the resentment phase a long while back before grabbing the bull by the horns as it were! I learnt to walk away and just get on with it. I only started to talk about it the other night as we seem to have been through a quiet phase, everything quite civilized, for a few weeks, so I guess I was dipping my toes in a bit but ....:rotfl:
Never mind.

I've been obsessed with calcs today re: mortgage. I was going to work on scenarios as and when next week, but it was more fun than filing
Head is buzzing, I Almost feel excited!
DH just called - he's doing school run today :eek: he's been waiting 10 minutes in the car for DS who had an away match, and ringing me to ask why he isn't out yet:T Told him they might not be back yet, or 101 other things. Told him go with the flow, I wait daily anything from 1-45 mins! Tee Hee Hee.
x

brizzledfw

Divine justice?!!

NoOneAround

brizzledfw wrote: »

Divine justice?!!

He had to wait 40 minutes :rotfl::rotfl: not a happy hubby :rotfl:

Bit of a working weekend - caught up on some SE work - it was beginning to slip with me not having focused some days during the week.

Nothing much happening really, just voluntary work Saturday, a jazz cabaret school event which was actually very pleasant in the evening, and working and chores Sunday. Had a lie in this am - didn't get up until 10 as DS stayed over at friend's house last night - they were watching the Superbowl in a big group - and went to school from there . Heaven - I actually fell asleep and dosed on and off, which helped with concentration today.

Bath and bed now - it feels really late to me.
Have a good week everyone
NOA
x