Power of Attorney dilema

Inquisitive62

Hi, Please can anybody advise me who has been in a similar position; I was in the process of getting Lasting Power of Attorney arranged for my Mother who has dementia, when my Father, unexpectedly, passed away. Joint bank account has, obviously, been changed to Mother only. Now having problems getting bills paid for my Mother as, not able to access bank account & there has been further delays with finalising Power of Attorney and it looks like I will need to apply for Court of Protection. Dreadful situation, where I am tearing my hair out. Any advice???? Please!!!! Thank you:(:(

troubleinparadise

Unfortunately you may well be stuck with the COP route if your mother is no longer judged to have capacity to grant you POA. Has anyone (such as doctor or solicitor) been involved in the capacity issue?

Are you the executor or administrator for your father's estate? That at least might give you some ability to sort out his affairs, but of course doesn't help with your mother's.

If you are worried about paying her bills, then unfortunately those who are waiting for payment will just have to wait - this situation is not uncommon, and there is nothing they can do in the meantime whilst you wait for COP to be sorted. Unfortunately it will involve you in more administration and phone calls, and sadly you will come up against a lot of ignorance within companies about this.

But equally, I guess you are probably also having to meet everyday expenses such as food etc costs. There isn't much you can do other than keep receipts and a record of what expenses you are covering, and claim them back later.

A friend of mine hit just such a brick wall when her husband had a stroke and couldn't speak, write or type, and forgot all his online passwords etc.... It did take a good few weeks for her deputyship to come through and she worried herself sick, but it did all get sorted in the end. And the utility companies etc just had to wait for payments to be sorted.

g6jns_2

Inquisitive62 wrote: »

Hi, Please can anybody advise me who has been in a similar position; I was in the process of getting Lasting Power of Attorney arranged for my Mother who has dementia, when my Father, unexpectedly, passed away. Joint bank account has, obviously, been changed to Mother only. Now having problems getting bills paid for my Mother as, not able to access bank account & there has been further delays with finalising Power of Attorney and it looks like I will need to apply for Court of Protection. Dreadful situation, where I am tearing my hair out. Any advice???? Please!!!! Thank you:(:(

I am sorry to hear of your loss. There are some contradictions in your posting. Are you saying that your mother did not complete an LPOA before she lost capacity or are you saying you have been trying to obtain one? To activate a LPOA you have to apply to the COP anyway. How were the bank accounts changed if nobody had a POA?

Inquisitive62

Foolishly started application late, because Father around, huge mistake. Contributory factors to delay with forms being processed. Long story. Then lost Father a few weeks ago and in that time Mother has deteriorated very quickly. So not holding out much hope for Dr confirming Mother understands process for LPOA so it's looking very much like application to COP for deputyship. Thanks for reply, just great to hear any opinions or advice, plus getting so wound up by it, get's it off your chest!!

Inquisitive62

It's looking like the COP instead of LPOA. Awaiting Dr's report, but not holding my breath. Pretty sure she will confirm that mother is not able to understand process. No, I'm not the executor, my mother is!!! Companies were very understanding when called to inform them, then a month later, the hassling has started. I simply say, I can't do anything about it, the money is there, just can't access it. Reassuring to know it is not uncommon. Everyday bills, well, no luxuries, put it like that!! I can empathise with your friend. Glad to know it was sorted out, gives me hope, because not only am I having to deal with losing Father, a huge part of my life, but I've got this to deal with. I guess, at least my mind is probably de-compartmentalising to get through it and then all hit me when sorted. Thanks for sound advice and a listening ear!!

g6jns_2

Inquisitive62 wrote: »

It's looking like the COP instead of LPOA. Awaiting Dr's report, but not holding my breath. Pretty sure she will confirm that mother is not able to understand process. No, I'm not the executor, my mother is!!! Companies were very understanding when called to inform them, then a month later, the hassling has started. I simply say, I can't do anything about it, the money is there, just can't access it. Reassuring to know it is not uncommon. Everyday bills, well, no luxuries, put it like that!! I can empathise with your friend. Glad to know it was sorted out, gives me hope, because not only am I having to deal with losing Father, a huge part of my life, but I've got this to deal with. I guess, at least my mind is probably de-compartmentalising to get through it and then all hit me when sorted. Thanks for sound advice and a listening ear!!

Don't beat yourself up about what you might have done. Concentrate on the priorities and don't be afraid to ask for help whenever you need it. You may have to be hard-nosed with those asking for money. Good luck and comeback here if you need to.

Inquisitive62

Thank you and I might take you up on that offer. Take care

troubleinparadise

Well, you're coping with two big losses in a short space of time, and taking over all the sorting of your parents' finances, estate and the ongoing care for your mother probably feels almost overwhelming.... But you will get through it and cope - but do take care of yourself at the same time (easier said than done, I know).

As always, hindsight is a wonderful thing. But don't waste your precious energies on looking backwards, just take each day as it comes. This will unravel itself, and hopefully in a few weeks time you will be feeling a little more in control.

The Alzheimer's Society website has lots of information re dementia, and a very active and supportive forum:

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/

As g6jns says, come back to the board if you need more help - there's usually someone who can help out where possible - or at least be a listening ear...

anmarj

For benefits you can become appointee, this means you can control where state benefits go, so you could change it your account until such time you can get cop and get it registered with bank. Appointee ship from Dwp is for benefits but have heard some companies have accepted this. Visits have to be done to you and your mum, so call the dwp and get it organised

getmore4less

g6jns wrote: »

I am sorry to hear of your loss. There are some contradictions in your posting. Are you saying that your mother did not complete an LPOA before she lost capacity or are you saying you have been trying to obtain one? To activate a LPOA you have to apply to the COP anyway. How were the bank accounts changed if nobody had a POA?

you don't need POA to take someone who has died of a bank account,just the death certificate.

getmore4less

If mother is named executor then start the process to apply for admin(will attached)of dads estate the PA1 has a box for named executor unable to do the job.