wedding gift- money but how much?

HelenDaveKids

Yes, we are going all day. I think £50 is probably the consensus. It's quite tricky trying to balance the right amount without being tight.

Thank you xx

Valli

HelenDaveKids wrote: »

So probably £50 a better amount?
Not close despite being niece, my brother is divorced and I see her about once a year and there was a period in her childhood that my ex sil wouldn't let any of us (my parents included) be part of her life.

The fact that you aren't close isn't entirely her fault, to be fair, but her mothers. It's lovely that you are invited to her wedding. If it were me I would give £50 (because it's sort of a round figure) or £100 if I could afford it.

pinpin

I'm a minimum wage earner, but usually give about £20-£40.
Gave £60 to a good friend on his wedding, though.

HelenDaveKids

Valli wrote: »

The fact that you aren't close isn't entirely her fault, to be fair, but her mothers. It's lovely that you are invited to her wedding. If it were me I would give £50 (because it's sort of a round figure) or £100 if I could afford it.

I agree completely, I was just trying to explain that we are not close. I therefore wouldn't be in a position to buy a thoughtful gift despite request for money. I feel almost novice at weddings, I'm 41, and in my early twenties I went to loads of weddings but haven't been to one in years and so feel unsure of the etiquette. Have never had a money only wedding, so used to wedding lists. I suspect next few years may start seeing a lot more as nieces and nephews are reaching that age. At work, it tends to be a collection.

Thank you for responses, I really appreciate xx

Valli

It is, I have to admit, a minefield. My neice marries next year; they already have a home and by then (fingers crossed) will be parents too; chances are a cash gift will be the way to go. But I am a single parent with 2 children at uni and a tight budget. I will have to fund our outfits; the hotel and give a gift...so easily looking at £500+ - that's half a month's wages :eek: - the fact that I know this is on the cards will mean I will probably have to decline an invitation to my cousin's 25th anniversary..because that's another hotel...and transport and it's just 4 weeks before the wedding. And will probably mean no summer holiday. Again.

snoopy1971

Hi

If it helps I am about to get married in Nov 2014 and the whole wedding gift/list thing has for us been uncomfortable to say the least.

our perspective is we are chuffed people are coming (often from far and wide) so didn't want anything (except a dog proof carpet...so they can't chew it). Plus my OH and I have been together for 10 years so don't need anything. When we thought about weddings we guested at (hotels, travel and for the dogs Kennels) the money all adds up so we didn't want to burden our guests with more cost for presents.

However despite making this clear people still ask what do we want in cash as they think we're being polite. AWKWARD.

I am sure if the couple are decent people they will appreciate whatever you decide to give. Again from my perspective I wouldn't want what someone couldn't afford.

My partner has suggested as an idea to some rather insistent people to buy some currency for our honeymoon. If every couple at our wedding put in £20 we'd have £600! Goodness knows what that looks like in Thai Bhat.

The point being is that's not an insignificant amount for holiday spends IMHO.

It's difficult and for both parties but give what you feel comfortable with and can afford

minerva_windsong

Short answer: whatever you can afford and feel comfortable giving them.


Personally £50 to me is sibling level, but my partner and I aren't in high-paid jobs. For a close friend/relative it'd be more like £30 and for an acquaintance £20. But you may be in a position where you can give more than that and you want to - if so, then that's perfectly fine.


Though speaking as someone who's getting married in a few weeks I'm aware we're asking a lot of people to come to the wedding and pay for travel, hotels etc so will be grateful for anything people are generous enough to give to us

Evil_Olive

I'm getting married in a few days and we have asked for cash, for various reasons. We will be thrilled with whatever we get and won't really be thinking about the amount - we know a lot of our friends aren't that flush and if they can do a tenner we'll feel just the same as if it were £100. It all tends to add up to a fairly substantial amount in the end whatever people contribute individually - we've got 100 guests - if they all give a tenner that's £1000!!!
Just give what you can afford and think is reasonable. In the unlikely event that they'll be thinking "how stingy", they wouldn't deserve anything anyway

mrsp89

We usually do £50 for a whole day ... just becuase there is normally a meal and drinks paid for for you so we think we'd spend that on a nice meal anyways ... If we are just invited to the nighttime we usually give £20 - I echo other posters though in the 'give what you can afford' line.

We asked for money for our wedding as we were moving home (300miles away) so we knew we'd need more things but wernt sure what so it made it so much easier for us! ... guests gave between £10 and £200 - we were grateful for every penny and wernt offended at all at the £10 gifts - we were grateful for any amount ... every penny helps and we ended up with £1600 :eek: .... We have a very good family/friends network

persa

I usually give around £100, assuming I've been given a plus one and it's for the whole day.

I hate weddings, so I only attend them for very close friends and family. It therefore goes that a) the invite is for the whole day and b) I like the couple. Given how extravagant the weddings in recent years have been, I couldn't really give less than £100. I'm always mindful of how much it costs to have me there and I want to match that.

I'd expect anyone with a decent full-time job to give broadly the same as me. If any of the guests are out of work etc, then just turning up should be gift enough for the bride and groom. And the bride and groom should make that clear - if you like someone enough to invite them to your wedding, you should know if they're skint and make sure they don't feel awkward about coming empty-handed.