Are we overreacting?

alice_kate_2

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dandelionclock30

I wouldnt bother myself, people make new friends and move on all the time. Those two may have more in common with each other than with your OH. Its best not to ever let the allegiancies of friends upset you. Friends even long standing ones can be fickle.
Instead its really for your OH to look at meeting other people and moving on a bit himself so that whether they include him or not he has other people to bother with.

newcook

are they going to the same place or somewhere different?!

its possible that fred and bobs girlfriends have become good friends and have decided to book somewhere and didnt ask you as you have already booked yours.

Tropez

Hang on, you book a summer holiday and then Fred and Bob ask if they can come to? What are they, 9? I don't think I'd be able to stop laughing for a week if one of my friends did that.

Without knowing all these little things it's hard to say whether it is a deliberate snub or not. It might be an issue with the girlfriend, or perhaps Fred and Bob are lovers now and they're concerned that the accommodation available wouldn't disguise the groans and grunts of their passionate lovemaking at 3am.

amus

It does seem strange that they would book it without considering your OH if it wasn't intended as a snub. But the thing I find with 'subtle snubs' is if you challenge things you are made out to be the unreasonable one.

For that reason, if I were in your husbands situation, I would act completely normally, not mention it, book your own holiday, and when they mention theirs say 'oh how lovely me and OH are going.......'. When people are being intentionally sly they tend to be goading for a reaction, the best thing you can do is get on with your lives as normal and not even acknowledge their behaviour IME.

marisco_2

If the stance is taken to view peoples decisions to choose who they mix with and when as a deliberate snub, then it says much about the strength of the friendship that is shared. If there is no trust between people then there is little left to connect them any more. It could do your OH good to widen his social circle so as he isn't so reliant on the company of these two guys.

Hermia

It wouldn't bother me, but then I think it is normal for people to have different types of friendships with different people. Is there something different about the holiday they are going on? Maybe they are wanting a different sort of holiday and think you two would not be interested.

fivetide

Go to the docs, get your OH a prescription for two testicles and tell him to just ask Fred & Bob what they are playing at.

Nothing aggressive, just ask the question, over a pint.

meer53

They booked their own holiday because they knew yours was already booked and they didn't want to come with you. Can't see why you would feel upset by this ? Be thankful you're not going with them if it is the GF's decision. Could be a very awkward holiday otherwise.

susieq87

why does your OH think it is because of the girlfriends?

maman

fivetide wrote: »

Go to the docs, get your OH a prescription for two testicles and tell him to just ask Fred & Bob what they are playing at.

Nothing aggressive, just ask the question, over a pint.

If it's going to keep playing on OP's mind then that's what I'd suggest. They probably realise that OH might think it strange but may not think you want a repeat of this year's holiday or that having not booked this year you wouldn't want them tagging along next year (i.e. they missed their chance). It could be anything. You'll never know until you ask.




Otherwise, just move on. That's what I'd do. You can still be friends with them if you want but don't set too much store by it being 'exclusive'. There's no reason why these new friends (albeit originally introduced by the OH) shouldn't hit it off and do their own thing if they want to.


We have a similar situation with OH's brother. We used to go away together for weekends: 6 of us including another SIL and BIL. But now he's got a new partner who is very loud, embarrassing and irritating. I cope with her for an evening but couldn't stand another weekend. We're planning a weekend just the four of us and saying nothing. If they find out we'll think of an excuse. I'm not looking to be confrontational unnecessarily.