Is this Right?

repsolblade

kelloggs36 wrote: »

I hope she does go to the CSA and do what I did to prove that my ex like you tried to fiddle his accounts - and lost. He owes me 26k now and is today either going to prison or may be given a stay of execution as he has remortgaged his house to pay. 3 charging orders on the house means that he could lose it - you may want to think things through instead of being so selfish.

Who mentioned fiddling accounts??
I just said that My accountant will have me running at a loss.
And, for your information that happens to be Very true, my partner has pretty much sustained us through some very difficult years with her income and like I said before, only NOW are we seeing some light at the end of a very long and dark tunnel.
I recieved some text message from my ex and they went kind of like this.
Me. Why do you want the CSA involved?
Her. £200 is not enough I want more
Me. But if you go through the CSA you will get less?
Her. No I won't you will pay them £500 and I want what's right
Me. You are making a big mistake
Her. We'll let them decide and if I get less, which I doubt, then I will accept that.

So, basically I find out today that she was told in June that the CSA have assesed me and are awarding her £125 per week.
Funy, how a couple of WEEKS later She buys a New Car..Over £15k on finance.
This is a woman who works part time, has a chidminder some days, and has pinned her financial status on the extra income she's expecting from me Via the CSA.
Why don't the CSA ask for receipts for every purchase, everything involved with the costs of keeping the children?
And please don't qoute water and gas and rent, because those things WE HAVE to pay for in life as it is, I'm talking about specific costs relating to the kids!
No? Why?
Oh,maybe because it's Bull S**t and we as NRP's DO FUND the PWC's Lifestyle!

Elle00

Ahh I'd reply properly but Kelloggs seems to be doing a grand job on the sense and reason front so I've little to add.

Kimitatsu wrote: »

Until someone brings out specific costs neither side will agree, the NRP will never believe how much it costs and the PWC will not be able to prove it.

I did - see page one.

Regarding it costing mere pennies to raise young children: At 17p per nappy, 2p per wipe and £1 per meal per child (plus rent, water, electric, clothing etc) I think someone might get a bit of a shock if they got their calculator out.

As for DJoiner receiving vicious PMs - anyone else in serious doubt?

:rotfl: at "Mothers should contribute...". My ex has contributed less than £700 in nearly 2yrs. Who do you think pays to raise this child?!

Did I have nothing when we split up? Hmmm, well, I had to leave the marital home pretty quickly actually - not much time to pack. Besides which, furniture changes as your child grows. A cot would be no good for me now same as a toddler bed will be no good for me in 2yrs time.

Clothing has to be replaced every 3 - 9m as your children grow. Until they reach their teenage years they can't wear seasonal clothes for more than one season and in their teens their clothes cost more. I had to replace my son's clothes every 6wks for the first 6m of his life due to his height.

You really just do not understand how the real world works OP.

That's all I have to say. I was really quite clear on my points about how much it costs to raise a child but OP chose to respond with insipid remarks that showed his true colours loud and clear and frankly I have better things to do with my evening than argue with random strangers who think kids are raised on love alone. The hardest pill to swallow is that those who aren't willing to find the money to provide for their children properly probably aren't supplying all that much love either.

OP you asked why you should have to pay this money and we all told you. If you'll excuse me I'm off to book a short break at the seaside for my DS next month with my wages. Have a nice life.

repsolblade

DJoiner wrote: »

As I explained before, I have allowed my ex this money until she got herself on her feet - which they now are. Now that she is to be married, I do not feel responsible for my ex's well being, and i refuse to contribute towards it. My children on the other hand will always have everything they need - and no one could accuse me of being an absent parent.

Kelloggs - when I said contribution I meant a financial one, and I still believe its unfair that a mother is not expected to finance her children if she is working and can afford to. Her physical contribution towards looking after the children is no greater than mine as I have them half the time. School uniform, holidays etc are all things that I pay for and while I agree that peak months, christmas and birthdays, will go over the £200 mark - there is no need for any child to have multiple games consoles and two different bmx bikes so in the case of my ex, i'm afraid this doesn't hold.

I have only just logged in after making these comments to find 3 abusive pms from angry mothers who do not know anything about my circumstances, and I cannot believe how judgmental people can be - thank you to those whose advice helped me, esp kellogs, but i will not be returning to this man hating forum again.

This Forum is run by Money Saving Expert isn't it.
So why the hell cant I look here to save money?
MY money, DJ's money and every other NRP that has been shafted by the Goverment Joke The CSA.
I would never admit to having anything to do with such an organisation(if you can call it that), but then I'd never work there in the first place either.
This is also a forum, and as such We NRP's as well as PWC's have the right to post whatever the hell we want.
And as previously mentioned, I was asking for opinions, wether they be favourable or not.
But I reserve the right to defend myself and any others I (personally) feel to be right.
I am not a horrible person, in fact I'm quite lovely...:rotfl:
But' I've found myself drawn into heated debate, because of certain comments and posts that offend or hurt me.
I am only trying to explain that as a responsible and caring Father, I want to pay for my kids welfare and upbringing, but that the system is so so so Wrong, and until we stand up to it, we will forever be Shafted.
Do you really think that Fathers4Justice storm the Houses of parliment for a laugh? No, it's because they like so many other's are at their wits end, used and abused by Law's and systems that are Biased, misjudged and premeditated!

viktory

repsolblade wrote: »

4 years ago I split from my ex wife, we weren't that well off I earned around £230 per week and she worked part time and eaned about £120.
Since we split I am now self employed and earn after tax around £400-£500 per week.
We have two children aged 11 and 6 and I pay £200 per month for them.
I have my kids twice a week and that has been really hard to secure as she has used them consistently to get at me, but that's another story and too long to tell here.
My question is this.
Do any of you think that now I'm earning better money that I should pay my ex-wife 20% of those earnings as she thinks she deserves, I now live with my partner who has a 9 year old and she works full time, and recives £140 per month from her ex.
I treat my children when they are with me and want that to continue, however, if the CSA take more money from me then I cannot do that, and as I was not earning this kind of money before, why should my ex wife be entitled to it, as it is she already uses that money to pay monthly for an expensive car that she's bought, it is clear that the money I pay already is more than enough to cover their costs etc.
Please give me your thoughts

You asked for my thoughts......so I will give them. Regardless of what your wife may or may not earn I don't think £25 per child, per week (based on a four week month) is an awful lot for two growing children. You became very bitter and angry on this thread and I don't mean to upset you any further. However, it would be interesting to know how often you have the children to stay etc.as this would have some bearing on the amount you pay.

missylou_2

repsolblade wrote: »

Do you really think that Fathers4Justice storm the Houses of parliment for a laugh?

Em...

If you can provide a better explanation than it is a very long boring week from one signing on to the next, then please feel free to explain! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Peterboro

This thread highlights a few points

Dads are worth a lot more than there ex's give them credit for.
Maybe divorce isnt such a good idea and working at marriage has its benefits.

Kimitatsu

Peterboro wrote: »

This thread highlights a few points

Dads are worth a lot more than there ex's give them credit for.

You know the old saying anyone can be a father it takes someone special to be a Dad? I think if there were more Dad's in this world then many ex's would have less to complain about. Sure there would still be some that would complain whatever but as you said sometimes it is worth working on.

Personally my boys have both a father (whom they have decided is a waste of sapce - no input on my part) and a fantastic Dad.

aussiesbird

missylou wrote: »

Em...

If you can provide a better explanation than it is a very long boring week from one signing on to the next, then please feel free to explain! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

I take offence at that comment. :mad:
Some men are put in extremely dire financial situations following divorce (and CSA) and I for one know what it is like to live with someone who feels that they are a burden to their family and have contemplated ending it all to free everyone from the financial burden. And yes, he has a full time job and does not sign on!!!!!!!!
So maybe you should think a bit more before making a comment like that.

Scarlett1

I think there are other people on this thread that need to think before making comments :rolleyes:

Scarlett1

btw have I ever told anyone how I tried to get £5 per week off my ex, someone else was having a peice of his dole money so I get nudda :rolleyes: