Can anyone offer me a strategy?

John_Jones_3

Sorry to butt in to another persons thread, but I sit here now, not for the first time, contemplating taking the easy way out of the debt I am in.

I am 28, living with my partner and our two children, both girls, one aged 5 yrs, and the other 4 months!

If it wasnt for my girls, there would be no entry on here from me. I really am at a loss as to what to do. There is nothing harder than facing up to your demons, nightmares, whatever you call it, but for me its this debt. And it just impacts on every aspect of you life. It takes over.

So to you, WWISS, I say, at least you have started the ball rolling. You have been strong enough to face your problems, and are finding the path which you want to walk, away from your debt. For that, I take my hat off to you, Salut!

My difficulty is that I cannot see the path, or am refusing it because it is too difficult (which makes me a complete S**T I know). I owe out in total, in the region of £47,000, without my mortgage. If you ask how its got this far, I really couldnt tell you.

My house repayments are ever increasing, my partner is struggling to work as a result of her recent pregnancy, and not earning anywhere near enough to match the amount she needed for her half of the mortgage. We moved into our new house last July, a month before she became ill! She worked for her father who had his own business, but now that is slipping away due to the ill health of his mother. We are totally distant from each other. If we could sell our house, we would have seperated by now.

I need around £500 a month extra just to get by, and I physically cannot work anymore hours/days a week. I dont have a good credit rating, so struggle to transfer any debt, or gain any new credit.

I know im waffling on, and again apologise, but can anyone please shine a positive light on these debt consolidation agencies? I got no idea what to expect, or to do when I speak to them, and fear I could end up losing what little I have left!

Regards

John

welshgirl78

John, I'm afraid I might not be desperately helpful but well done for posting the first time. It sounds like you are having a really hard time of it and just making that first post and beginnings of working out where you are and how you got here is a MASSIVE step - well done!

It sounds like you need to start your own thread and and SOA (see stickys) there realy are so many wonderfully fantastically helpful people on here who can give you loads of advice and help and just support if thats what you need. Hope to see an SOA from you soon - shall be checking in!

And WWISS (love the username!) you are doing a grand job of thinking everything through and making the first baby steps - well done and shall continue reading you too so don't drop away!

Good luck and lots of good wishes to all xxx

sophiesmum_2

Hi john
I'm not an expert but just wanted to reply to your post with a little support, even when things seem as bad as they can get there is always hope. Night time makes things appear worse than they really are in the light of day. It sounds like there is a lot of stress and worry in your life at the moment without the debts, it will all be contributing to how you feel right now. Just remember that it is only money, at the end of the day if you haven't got it you can't pay it out. There is always a solution, consolidation is not an option that I would advise personally but it is an option. If you have got to the point of a £500 defecit each month I would seriously suggest getting in touch with CCCS or payplan and looking into a Debt management plan. Both have websites and are non profit making. You have made the hardest step by posting this first post and people will be along to support you. However you will get more help if you start a new thread of your own, If you feel able a list of yur incomings and outgoings would give people an idea of your situation and what help they could suggest.Don't despair there are many people on this board with debts far greater than yours who are now seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
Your relationship with your partner is probably suffering with the stresses of the ill health and the debts combined and making a start with the debts will possibly help in some way. Whatever happens you have two little girls there who are counting on you so don't give up. Give us a chance and see what help we can come up with.
sophiesmum

John_Jones_3

Thanks you two, will post my own thread and see how it goes.

Wasnt expecting any kind of reply, so it is appreciated

Thanks again

John

welshgirl78

Good Luck and where is WWISS??? not spending money I hope!!!!!

Ignatius_A

WWISS,

I understand about not wanting to apply for more credit cards.

Have you looked at the "credit card shuffle" on the main site?

1) Some cards have lower interest than others, so ensure these are the maxed ones, not the others

2) If you can temporarily clear some cards, you can often negotiate a low rate "Life of balance" transfer

As a result of (2) above, I'm in the process of moving approx 5000 from a 19.9% card :eek: to 2 other cards at a rate of 6.9% for the life of the balance.

All without a single credit check against my name - the 2 cards I transferred off then back to were halifax one and barclaycard

Regards

WhyWasISoStupid

I A

I've been looking into card-shuffling today using the article, trying to pick the credit reference agencies wisely. The M&S card looks like a winner, will get around to applying this weekend.

I would also like to add that this staying in on a Friday night malarky really sucks. I have a bar opposite where I live, and can practically read the letters on the Stella pump. Trying to stay focussed on the "bigger picture"...

hypno06

Perhaps you should check out the blitz scrabble that was mentioned on these boards recently - seems to be even more addictive than Moneysaving and you won't even be thinking about that Stella pump!!

In_Search_Of_Me

Just wanted to pop in and say hi. Yes the being in alot more is crap but being in debt even worse! Paying debts off is hard work and it does require some lifestyle changes to achieve it. From posts etc one thing I would say that possibly this exerience will make you realise what is important! I have really found out who my freinds are (& some who are not!) through this; yes some women will want the illusion you offer in terms of being flashy but we all know that is meaningless & empty & where did it get us? Here! You cannot keep up forever! There comes a point that you have to recognise that it is empty and unimportant all this stuff! From paying off (& then stupidly reaccruing!!) some of my debts I have come to appreciate the smaller things; coffee out is a treat, a DVD the same & therefore more precious! I've given up smoking & drinking having done both far too much for over 20 years! Finally in the process of loosing over 6 stone of flab & it feels bloody amazing! (4 down 2 to go!). You will discover new activites and as others have said if the girl accepts & loves you for you then thats great - if she wants the fascade & flash car then it aint!! Big hug for you & happy sorting!