Can anyone offer me a strategy?

WhyWasISoStupid

Hi guys, I would like to get my situation off my chest, purely because I am too embarrassed to discuss it face-to-face with anyone I know.

I'm a single 28yo man who has been living in debt since I was 18, the amount increases every year, it's almost like i've been living £3k a year above my means (to keep up with people above me at work).

I now owe £34K comprised of the below:

CC1 - £6000, min pay £110 (limit)
CC2 - £5500, min pay £100 (limit)
CC3 - £5250, min pay £100 (limit)
CC4 - £3400, min pay £50 (limit £4500)
Loan 1 - £8000 remaining, monthly pay £227
Loan 2 - £6000 remaining, monthly pay £165

Therefore, I pay approx £800 a month (but only min balance). My salary is now £40K, which after stoppages leaves me with £2000 a month take home. After paying rent/bills etc. I'm left with about £500 disposable income per month, so I never miss payments and my credit scoring is quite good.

However, I'm at the stage in my life where my utter "foolishness" (I'm sure people reading this can think of more 'accurate' ways to describe me, no need as I couldn't possibly hate myself anymore for this situation) is causing me major problems. Everytime I meet a nice girl, I break up with her to avoid ever having to tell her how badly in debt I am, and if I meet somone who owns a house, I break up in case they find out and think that I'm only after their equity.

The sad thing is that I've worked my !!!!! off 6 days a week to earn the money I do now, but will always be plagued by this 10 ton weight around my neck. I'm purely paying interest on my cards (and I think I'd be pushing my luck asking for another one to balance transfer with), and I just cannot see a way through this. Ironically what I thought would give me a better standard of life has cost me any standard of living, because I basically have no life at the moment.

If you've got this far - thanks for taking the time to read, I'm aware that there are people here with far worse circumstances ie. can't make minimum payments - I fully sympathise, up to 1 year ago I used to take cash out on my cards to pay off another.

Karmacat

Hiya WWISS

Welcome to the forum - I can see that you're beating yourself up plenty, just from your name, let alone what you've written above. Bear in mind that all of us on here have felt equally stupid, and have also simply avoided reality. The forum is absolutely for you just to get things off your chest, if thats what you want, but people can also try to help you, if you'd like. There's a post near the top of the forum, one of the "stickies" - southernscouser's post on how to do an soa, a Statement of Affairs. If you do one of those, including not only your debts, but also your living expenses, there are often tips people can give you about how to cut those down by quite an amount. Give it a go and see what happens.

The other thing in what you've written is that you're avoiding new relationships because of your debt. I really do understand that, but you do still have to live. You've got into this, you say, because you were trying to compete with those above you on the career ladder. Well, you can't do that any more, I guess you know that. You have to be you, debts and all.

Try doing the soa first, and see how it goes. Have a look around the forum, and the articles on the main site - you might be surprised.

James&Shell

HI welcome to the boards,

the first thing i would do is place your SOA and let everyone help and cut up your credit cards ten ver month you should see your balances go down,

Also start a spending diary and you will see what you spend money on and how you can cutback.

Good luck

itsnowtime

Welcome to the boards!

I myself am in a very similar situation to you so I do understnad. You'll get lots of support and encouragement on here!

Well done for taking the first step!

Good Luck

Parallel_Universe

Hello and welcome - well done for being brave enough to post here Loads of people will be able to give you top advice - best of luck

WhyWasISoStupid

Many thanks to everyone who has replied so far, wasn't expecting much of a take-up on this one. Here goes with the SOA:

Monthly Incomings:

My salary - £2,000 (between £1900 and £2600 dependent upon bonus)

Total (take home)- £2,000

Monthly Outgoings:

Mortgage/Rent - £250
Council Tax - £50
Gas - £12
Electric - £13.50
Food - £200
Private Petrol - £50
Gym - £32
Clothing - £50
Cigarettes - £100

Total: £757.50

Egg CC – Balance £5,812 (limit £6,000) APR 15.9%
Barclaycard - Balance £5,200 (limit £5,250) APR 14.9%
MBNA CC – Balance £5,400 (limit £5,500) APR 15.9%
Halifax CC - Balance £3,400 (limit £4,500) APR 15.9%

Egg Loan – Balance £7938, monthly payment £224 APR 6.9% Length of term 72 months, 37 months to go
Northern Rock Loan - Balance £5689, monthly payment £162 £APR 10.9% Length of term 36 months, 35 months to go
Overdraft - £0 (limit £2,000) APR varies%

Total: £746.00

And I spank the remainder on "liquid relief" from reality ie. getting completely wasted, which works for about 3-4 hours a week. Unfortunately this mindset got me into this mess, and I'm determined to find a way out before it's too late. I enjoy my job, and just want to be able to enjoy the other parts of my life.

Can I also add that I have no intention on 'defaulting' on any of my payments, I have always made repayments a priority and will honour whatever I have borrowed. I'm just lost at where to start here, and can't ignore it any longer.

In_Search_Of_Me

Don't panic is the first thing!. You're in good company & here are surrounded by many (me included!) who have been foolish with money You have a good salary so will just need to STOP spending & start paying it off off. Go to the post at top which shows you how to post a statement of affairs and people will show you how to cut back. Possibly the most important thing you need to do is start NOT keeping up with the Jonses and begn to realise that if you dont stop you really will be in serious trouble financially. Its tough but we are all on the same journey & chivvy each other up along the way! Post your SOA and lets see where you can save! You can also look at utilities etc; see where you can tweak spending etc & will be amazed how quickly you can save money. The one thing you do need to ge is a spending diary to start logging every penny that you spend! Also have a think about ebaying stuff you dont need/use...all a huge adjustment but all ways you can reduce your debt. Most of all dont panic & try to consolodate...from bitter personal experience it rarely works!

James&Shell

The first thing i would do is to cancel the overdraft to £50-£100 as it would only be used for emergencys.

Then cut up your cards and aim to get rid of them in stages eiter the highest balance first or the lowest first.

In_Search_Of_Me

oops sorry started this an hour ago & hadnt realise people had posted meanwhile! Drinking bouts need to be replace by chucking dosh at debts; think of your liver if nowt else! Gym should probably also go (could go to local authority one?) and food bill could easily be chopped. Spending diary is the BEST way to see where your money goes (I realised that I spent £160 a month at least on unecessary parking & sandwiches!) and you will be shocked! Have a look at the old style boards for menu suggestions - your food budget is very hight for someone on their own & some peope manage to feed a family of four for less!! You can pay this off but will need to focus & priorotise what is important - getting wasted or gettig rid of the milestone of debt? Its not NEVER going out but being measured about it & having a budget! As you stand tough you can sort this so well done for doing it before things got unmaganable

p00pieb0tt0m

I too got into debt 'living life' and had my lightbulb moment when I was 25. I owed 20k and earned 18k a year. Now, 4 years later, I owe 2.5k and will be debt free before Christmas. It is very possible.

The real reason I'm posting is that I was just starting a relationship when I had my LBM, and I have found that having my partner has helped to focus my mind on reducing my debt. He didn't judge my badly, especially when he saw the effort I was putting in to getting debt-free.

He quit smoking a couple of years ago, perhaps you could think about this. You currently burn more than a grand a year!!

WhyWasISoStupid

Thanks fishface,

The gym is a local authority one (cheapest I could find), I use it 5-6 times a week and is the only thing that keeps me sane. Despite the smoking, I live a very healthy/physical lifestyle (I'm 6ft 5 / 15st, so require a larger than normal calorie intake). Is £40 a week a lot to spend on food? I rarely eat out, and don't buy expensive foods (I shop in Asda).
I fully agree with the drinking / going out suggestion, deep-down I've always known that I need to curb that. It's just difficult to spend all weekend in when you live alone.