Long divorced...but wedding anniversary fills me with gloom

VestanPance

Several years since getting divorced now and my mind always thinks about it on what was our anniversary.

missbiggles1

We sometimes get the dates of our first weddings confused with our own (all 3 are within a week of each other) and often have a laugh at how long we'd've been married if they hadn't broken up.

I'm afraid it seems odd to me to feel anything very much about what's gone before once you're happily remarried.

LandyAndy

I can remember the date. In fact it is coming up soon. I don't usually give it a second thought, if I even remember, on the day.

msb5262

Pollycat wrote: »

'gloom' is a strange word to use if you are in a happy relationship.
Are you really melancholy, despondent, sad about this date?

Good question...
I think the problem is that as I have three children (now teenagers) from my marriage, it's difficult to think about the date without feeling melancholy etc about the impact on their lives. It's a bit like their birthdays - I always find myself remembering when they were born and feeling a pang because I never imagined being a lone parent in the years to come. The birthday thing seems to have got harder rather than easier over the years, don't know why. And although my relationship is happy, I don't live with my partner at the moment so in some ways I'm still rather alone.
Thank you everyone for replies, it has been interesting and has made me feel a bit better

Sandhy

My first marriage happened on the day someone very famous died (over 30 years ago) so I only remember it when it's mentioned on the news as an anniversary of famous person's death date. That date doesn't fill me with gloom though!

Sorry for not being too clear but I don't want to be identified by folks who know I use this site.

My second marriage date passes me by completely. Well rid.

Pollycat

msb5262 wrote: »

Good question...
I think the problem is that as I have three children (now teenagers) from my marriage, it's difficult to think about the date without feeling melancholy etc about the impact on their lives. It's a bit like their birthdays - I always find myself remembering when they were born and feeling a pang because I never imagined being a lone parent in the years to come. The birthday thing seems to have got harder rather than easier over the years, don't know why. And although my relationship is happy, I don't live with my partner at the moment so in some ways I'm still rather alone.
Thank you everyone for replies, it has been interesting and has made me feel a bit better

Ah!
I see!
That makes a difference.

As you have children and, although happy in your current relationship, you're not actually living together, I can see why you may think about the date and feel sad.

I don't have any children so nothing to remind me and I've been with my second husband for almost 30 years.